'Ideal' age gap?

[JaneGlorianaVillanueva]

What would you say is the 'ideal' age gap between children?

Smaller age gaps? waiting til one is going to school before having another?

For reference we both work full time, neither of us whole be sahp's so would be in full time nursery.

We live in the NW, own our own (3 bed) home and have a household income of around £55k.

Any advice?

Financially 4 years has been the sweet spot for us, similar to OP in that we both work ft with combined income around £55k a year. we have been lucky in my mum having dd a day a week so she's in nursery 4 days instead of 5.

Due #2 December, it's worked out nicely as I'll have a term to settle DD into school and the new routine, then my maternity leave covers most of the holidays for reception year- plus im not stuck with 2 tiny ones all day every day! The biggest challenge will be holidays when I'm back at work.

It has been nice that dd is old enough to be excited for her baby brother or sister too.

I often wonder the same but I can't predict what the perfect gap would be if we had another. Current gap is 3 years and works well.

2 things are really important to our decision.

1. Waiting long enough to see what the child in front of you is like before planning another.
2. My health and my recovery from the last pregnancy in terms of weight gain, vitamins being depleted through breastfeeding and pregnancy, my abdominal muscles.

Just a wider perspective if that helps.

I've got 14 months between mine and it's bloody hard and I wouldn't recommend it! But I'm only 9 weeks in, so I'm hoping things get easier soon. 🤞🏼

We did plan to TTC after DD1 was born as it took us 7 years to conceive and didn't know how long it would take again. However I got pregnant with DD2 on our first try! 😬

Needless to say, there will never ever be a DC3!!!

@Myotherbagisgucci - just you wait!

Ride it out, I promise it will get better!

I had 15 months between DC1&2 and 14 months between DC2&3. That was hard work but I was glad to get all the stages done around the same time. I then had DC4 six years after DC3 and he just slotted into family life, no worries. The other three adore him and help out occasionally too, they’re also able to be semi-independent which helps.

If I had my time again I’d leave bigger gaps I think.

3 years. There's 3 years between each of my first 3 and it was brilliant. But I found 2 years between 3&4 a nightmare.

There are 4 years 4 months between mine.
It would t have been my choice, I was aiming for 3 years, but, well, you know.

It has its positives through - I can spend 1-1 time with the baby while DS1 is in school, I had all of Ds1’s Pre school years just with him, child care cost wise I’ve not had to fund 2 in nursery, although when I go back to work after mat leave I’m still going to have to fork out for nursery plus before and after school club which is a pain but unavoidable regardless of the gap.

Ds2 is still only a baby so it’s hard to say what the long term will look like. I really want them to be best friends and play together, but I’m worried the bigger gap will mean that’s not going to happen. Ds1 is desperate for the baby to start being able to interact more but he can be a bit boisterous with him.

I’ll let you know in 5 years how it pans out

@Eminybob I think with 3-4 year gaps it feels bigger at the start (which has its benefits!) but around school age is when they can really become playmates, the gap feels smaller the older they get.