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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

owners of young boys-

50 replies

oops · 19/07/2007 21:51

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OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mytwopenceworth · 19/07/2007 22:10

oh yes. I do. They love it. I used to be very uptight about it. MY boys will NEVER have toy weapons, MY boys will NEVER fight, MY boys will NEVER.....

Then I caught them swordfighting with straws and I realised that all the little tykes kitchens and barbie hospitals in the world won't stop each of them wanting to throw the other to the ground and sit on their head!

So now I've fully embraced their boyness and, (as well as the kitchen, the barbie, the makeup on weekends ) we wrestle. I do all sorts of physical play, including grabbing them and turning them upside down etc, I mean, I can't really describe it, it is as the mood takes!

lionheart · 19/07/2007 22:10

Yes, sometimes do this.

It does take effort and you need to be able to shout "STOP!"

and have it stop.

It can involve injuries.

Fireflyfairy2 · 19/07/2007 22:15

I hold up my fists to ds & say "Box!!" And we box He has learnt to cover his face now with his arms/hands when we box. Dd has a punch bag so this is where boxing comes in, not exactly fighting though, but we like to play box

I don't let him have guns or swords, yet these are the first 2 things he lifts in my sister's house & in any toy shop we enter!!

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Original poster

oops · 19/07/2007 22:15

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TheDuchessOfFawkesBride · 19/07/2007 22:16

No I don't. And neither does DH.

Some of DS1s friends at pre-school do this with their parents, they then 'fight' with my DS1 at school, who then comes home and 'fights' with his toddler sister. At which point DS1 is sent to the naughty step and gets a speech on learning respect for other people.

He gets plenty of physical exercise and they do play Star Wars and so on with guns. But we don't have hitting, kicking or pulling people over in this house.

lionheart · 19/07/2007 22:19

I started with the no weaponry rule as well MTPW but gave up for historical reasons--

DS went all medieval after a castle visit. .

His playmobil are also armed to the teeth now.

Mog · 19/07/2007 22:19

Since we're on the boy theme, do any of you find you have to endlessly repeat yourselves to ds. Particularly with requests.
Tonight I asked dd and ds1 to get PJ's on. I'd been sick of repeating myself today so asked them to report back what I'd asked them to do (had asked it several times) and dd repeated exactly and ds said something I'd asked him to do ages before. Do you think little boys genuinely have problems processing instructions (or are mine just norty )

TheDuchessOfFawkesBride · 19/07/2007 22:19

Yep, those Playmobil viking axes are terrifying

lionheart · 19/07/2007 22:24

I like the catapults.

DS likes to load them with farm animals and hurl them over the castle walls just like they did in the olden days.

That probably also scores badly on the ethics scale but is, historically speaking, accurate, or so I've been told.

KerryMumbledore · 19/07/2007 22:24

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southeastastra · 19/07/2007 22:25

yes mog it goes on until they're 80 odd i reckon

Miaou · 19/07/2007 22:29

God no. Dh and I were talking about this today; that so much of the behaviour differences between the dds and ds must be nature, but that if we encouraged it we could "nurture" so much aggressive behaviour - why???

Will watch with interest, if this db turns out to be a boy, to see if they engage in "fighting" without our encouragement/input.

lionheart · 19/07/2007 22:30

I've been told that it is no good issuing instructions to younger children unless you get down to their level and make sure you have eye contact.

Calling out from the next room or while on the computer or emptying the book bag ( which is what I do), won't work nearly so well.

I am trying this method but it is hard when you are in multi-tasking mode.

lionheart · 19/07/2007 22:31

Don't know if it's a boy thing.

PeachesMcLean · 19/07/2007 22:32

DH and DS do playfighting. This isn't a problem in our case because DS isn't a natural fighter ie, he's never lashed out at anyone and he doesn't instinctively use his fists, so "fighting with Daddy" is just rough and tumble and a lot of tickling / pretending to be Star Wars people. Also DS has learned more about what's acceptable and what's not, ie what's going to hurt. So for instance, DH has recently had to stop him jumping feet first off the sofa on to DH's chest as he lies on the floor. Honest!

As for me though, it just wouldn't cross my mind to play fighting. I just don't do it.

cat64 · 19/07/2007 22:33

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Blu · 19/07/2007 22:36

No, not hitting, punching etc - though I have seen other parents encouraging small boys to punch them on tensed stomach muscles etc.

I do do a bit of rolling him about 'roughly' on the bed, but not 'fighting'

lionheart · 19/07/2007 22:36

Oh yes, he knows not to do it with others.

youpeskykids · 19/07/2007 22:53

I routinely have 'rough n tumble' time with my DS1 3.7, but this NEVER includes fighting i.e punching, smacking etc.

In fact, I tell DH off for playing with DS1 this way - my argument is that he is too young to understand that he only does it with DH. I've caught a backhander from DS1 a few times when I've bent down to pick something off the floor or put something in the dishwasher etc. I find it difficult to then tell him off because he is then confused - although I do tell him that he mustn't smack/hit mummy.

Mixed messages I know, but DH can't see there is anything wrong with it. Thinks it can be solved by telling DS1 only to fight with Daddy.

Actually, this leads me on to an interesting point - do you or DH teach your children to hit back? Someone asked me this the other day, and I didn't really know?!

Original poster

oops · 19/07/2007 23:11

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IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 19/07/2007 23:16

No... DH does "judo" with him (it seems to me more like sumo TBH ) but never get to break bricks IYWIM.

Playing fighting just for the sake of fighting... never. A good tickling against his wishes... yeah.

katelyle · 19/07/2007 23:25

We play a game called "boy trap" where if ds comes withing reach when I'm sitting on the beanbag I grab him and he has to struggle to get free. And thereis plenty of rough and tumble, bundling type play. But the game stops instantly if there is any hitting or deliberate hurtingof each other.

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 19/07/2007 23:34

Agree with that, any delieberate attempt to hurt the other (or anyone getting into real fighting) and the game is over.

cat64 · 20/07/2007 20:38

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christie1 · 20/07/2007 20:44

dh does play fighting with both the boys and the girls although he does it less as they are getting good at hitting back. No harm in it. I do sometimes, I more let them jump on me until I can't stand it. Just a way for boys to interact and no one gets hurt. I remember I was checking out books at the library one day and the 2 boys were rolling around on the floor. The librarian said they looked like one of those wildlife videos showing 2 bear cubs wrestling. I think it is instinctual.

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