Debating breastfeeding or formula

[BeckyG86]

Hi there.

I am 33 and pregnant with my first baby. It is still early days for us as I am only 8+4 weeks but we have been looking at different things we will need to buy to get an idea on finance. One of the things were sterialisers an breast pumps, which I know, especially the steriliser, is an essential.

I am in a debate at the moment between breastfeeding and formula. I know of the breast is best philosophy, but I also know that circumstances can determine whether you choose to breastfeed or not, for example I wasn't breast fed because I wouldn't take to it (my Mom tried and it was her plan to breast feed). I plan on having at least 6 months maternity leave (pay permitting) from work so in that sense I feel happy to breastfeed, but the only thing that is making me think about formula is that work are paying for me to do a part-time college course. It is a two year course and I am just finishing my first year. I only attend once a week and it is still planned for me to attend as normal (with the exception of the first two weeks after the baby is born), and my Mom has said that rather than defer my final year for a year she will have the baby that day for me, which makes me think that formula from the start would be more convenient, and I haven't got to worry at college about expressing, leakages, etc (I don't think they have anywhere at college for expressing). The other worry is expressing enough for my Mom to have during the day (I have never had a baby and really don't know how much milk I would be able to Express as well as enough to feed the baby! I now that may be a stupid statement but I don't mean it to be stupid!)

My Mother-in-Law is a health visitor and has given some different leaflets, etc and will get some information on breastfeeding, but has said whatever decision I make she will support.

I know that the baby will get the nutrients they need regardless of breast or formula. It might be that I choose to breastfeed but the baby doesn't take to it. It might be that I choose to use formula but change my mind, I really don't know. I know there is a cost factor to consider (breast milk is free!) But I am not worried about that side of things.

I know I have a while yet to think about it but what are other people's opinions? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Can I get views from both breastfeeding and bottle feeding experiences please?

Thank you for your help in advance.

Lots of people do both. Breast feeding did not work out for me and DD so we gave up at 6 weeks. It’s very common for people to just breast feed for the first few weeks. Formula feeding is a lot more expensive. If you express breast milk you don’t need to sterilise.
Just a few things to think about.

If your budget is tight or you are just been sensible then I strongly suggest to join some local Facebook baby and children selling sites and buy everything other than mattresses and car seats second hand, check the stuff comes from a smoke free home.

I have breastfed my baby for 9 months so far (I had always planned to). Now I wouldn't change it for the world. I adore the bond him and I share that no one else can share and I love that time we get to snuggle up together. I also love that I can comfort him in this way. However I will say that the early days are incredibly tough (worse as DS had tongue tie). It is incredibly painful at first, cluster feeding is so exhausting. Sometimes even now all he wants to do is breastfeed if he is ill or going through a clingy stage which is hard. It means I have only recently been able to leave him with anyone as he refused a bottle. And I can't leave him overnight because he won't take a bottle for the night feed. You can feel very trapped by breastfeeding and I guess it can make some partners feel "left out" if they are that way inclined. Overall though I love it and I am so so glad I persevered through the mastitis and all the horrible days. You must do what is right for you and your baby and you won't know that until they are here. It is entirely personal preference but obviously sometimes like you said, breastfeeding just doesn't work out. See how things go when baby arrives but don't put pressure on yourself or baby to make it work either way. Good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy :)

I didn't breastfeed any of my three and I'm happy with my decision. Never felt pressured to breastfeed.

You can do both. I did. Baby had formula while I was in exams and breast milk at all other times. We used the presterilised bottle packs from supermarkets because they were more convenient.

You'll get a lot of folk saying you should breastfeed and there are advantages to this (cheaper, best nutrients for baby etc) but you need to do what is best for you.

I tried to breastfeed but because my baby was early, I had an emergency section and lost a lot of blood, as well as having a thyroid problem, i had no milk. So I tried for two days and then gave formula. Some might say I should have tried harder. Bully to them.

What I would be thinking hard about is going back to college two weeks after the baby, even if only for one day. I was still a mess after 2 weeks and could barely walk let alone have gone and sat in an educational establishment! Don't plan these things too rigidly.

If your main worry is baby having bottle feeds once per week I wouldn’t say that’s a big obstacle to breastfeeding. Why not just see how you get on? If you feel you might want to b/feed no harm in giving it a go. You can always hand express on the day you’re at college and leave formula for that day if you don’t want to express (it is a faff). I think it’s a legal requirement for work places to have a room for expressing so surely college would come under that? For me breastfeeding was my fondest memory of the babyhood stage. There is absolutely no feeling in the world like those quiet feeds with your baby, oxytocin flowing, knowing you’re the only thing the world that he/she needs. Yes it was a little stressful to establish in the first few weeks but so worth it for me. Everyone has different experiences of it but you do need to ensure you have real life support either through relatives or a support group.

I formula fed my first two and have combination fed my third from birth. She’s breastfed all day and has a bottle at bedtime so she’s always taken a bottle, if I’m out or away from her she just has bottles of formula, I bought a £10 manual breast pump to relieve at discomfort on the odd occasion I’ve been away from her long enough to be uncomfortable. If you’re not bothered about purely exclusively breastfeeding then I’d recommend just giving formula whenever you’re not there, as it takes the pressure off of trying to pump enough for bottles.

Like you say though, whatever you do will be fine - just see how it goes. Either way I wouldn’t say you need to worry about spending loads before you decide, you can hire proper breast pumps or just buy a cheap one like mine (it was from Boots)

It's possible to do both. But if you are considering the financial aspect, breastfeeding is free, formula is expensive, especially if you have to use anything other than the basic kind! For your college day you could express milk and your mum can have ready mixed cartons on standby just in case (you will need to hand express or pump in your breaks at college to relieve pressure but plenty of people do this). A basic steriliser is fine.

We've combination fed (mostly breast) from about two weeks as I knew from before conception that there would be several 36 hour periods where I wouldn't be able to feed him regardless of what I wanted for medical reasons, and ultimately in a couple of months this will be why we go onto exclusive formula. This aspect will not be a problem assuming you get your baby used to a bottle from the word go. My baby is completely happy to interchange between bottle/breast/formula/my milk and always has been so it's not like you have to do one or the other.

I would question going back to college after two weeks though as like others have said you don't know how you'll be and this is something that you can't plan in advance. For me, even though physically I didn't feel like I'd had a baby and was really lucky, I wouldn't have wanted to due to the lack of sleep and sheer exhaustion of the first few weeks. It was from 6-7 weeks that things started to normalise for me and I had a very "text book" birth with no interventions and minimal tearing. Other people have barely left the hospital or their home after two weeks, particularly if you have a complicated delivery. Is it your work who have proposed going back after two weeks? I work in a university and would find it very very odd if one of my students came back so soon after having a baby. I would strongly advise any of my students to interrupt for the year and restart once the baby is older. Do you know if the college has a policy about this? I'm pretty sure that at my uni a student has to take a year out or at least take absence and then join at an appropriate time later in the year as it's our duty of care towards students.

I combi fed from early on as baby had horrible reflux and I was in so much pain and exhausted I just couldn't keep up. It saved my sanity! Dh would do a night feed or two so I could sleep for longer than 30 minutes.

I prefer fed is best, bottle or breast as long as baby is fed and healthy it doesn't matter. There is no bonding advantage either, a bottle fed baby and it's mom share a bond just as special.

Honestly the biggest advantage I remember is the convenience of breast feeding out and about over getting a bottle ready. I'd always intended to breastfeed but said if it didn't work out it wasn't an issue.

Another vote for mix feeding!

I’ve mix fed DS (10 weeks) from birth and it’s been great. Longer breaks between feeds in the early days meant that my poor boobs got a break, and DS hasn’t come to rely on nursing for comfort or to settle back to sleep as we use formula for the night feed.

Never had any issue whatsoever with DS flirting between breast and bottle, and it’s meant that I can leave him with DH for an evening or afternoon just to get some time to myself.

It doesn’t have to be an either/or decision.

I will say though that I didn’t BF DC1 at all and there’s no difference to how I’ve bonded with DC2.

codenameduchess I could’ve written your post, agree 100%

I would recommend trying breastfeeding and go from there. I tried, it thankfully went well overall and I ended up feeding DD until 7 months (including giving up dairy for her!). I expressed from very early on, ignoring the advice to wait for 6 weeks. Expressing isn't for everyone, but it suited us for the evening, and meant DH could give her a late evening bottle while I went to bed! We transitioned to dairy free formula at 7 months due to me being away for 4 nights, and in anticipation of my return to work.

Breastfeeding is free and more to the point it is impossible to forget baby's food source on a day out... big plus in my book. Other advantage is at night it is much easier to just pick up baby and put on boob than actually sort a bottle - having had to warm and add colief to mini expressed bottles for a while I'd love to go back to just bfing on the nights baby just wants to feed!

If youd prefer to breastfeed then express what you can for that one day per week and top it up with formula if needs be. As long as you pump on your breaks in college ut will be fine. The college will have to provide you a private space to do so

I was formula fed from day 1. Turned out fine, healthy and strong.

Im breastfeeding my 14month old still and was ebf from beginning. He is also doing great. As mum now i massively see the advantages to this, free, comforts baby, great bonding etc. Im happy this was the best decision for me.

However i can see the advantages of formula. My sisters babies ff from the start. Slept better, not so clingy, she leaves her with anyone and always is happy. Whereas my boy wants to be where my boobs are...i kinda dont wana be far from him anyway so its fine. But doesnt work for everyone having a little clingy koala

Oh the night time thing. From my experience and that of friends and familys,

the breastfeds seem to wake more often to feed when they are little. They have to to establish your supply, but the wake ups dont take as long as you just put them on boob.
Ff seem to wake less, but takes longer to attend to having to make up their milk.
Even with the perfect prep machine.
Swings and roundabouts i guess but certainly some things to consider

I drove myself into the ground to breastfeed. I was utterly broken after a traumatic birth and ended up with DC1 being tube fed formula down a gastro nasal tube - followed by seeing a bf consultant several times a week until DC was 2 months old.
Did I want to bf? Yes.
Did I get support to bf? Yes
Did it make me happy? God no.
I wish I'd been strong enough to see how ridiculous the whole thing was. I was exhausted and depressed.
If you try it and it isn't working out it's ok to stop - it really doesn't matter. And you need to be strong enough to see it for what it is yourself, because no-one pointed out that it might not be best for me.

Why not not make a decision. Brest milk is better for baby's health so try, try your best and see what happens. Breastfeeding is so easy once you're past the initial learning how to do it phase. It was so unbelievably difficult, so so hard at first but it was totally worth it for how easy it is now. Formula feeding looks like so much faff and all the stuff to carry round! I barely have room in my changing bag for what I need, I wouldn't know where to put all the bottles, little tubs of powder, flask of hot water etc. And friends have had to leave park playdates (playdates for the older siblings) early because baby drank more than expected and they haven't got extra formula with them. So inconvenient, why choose that? If you can't breastfeed and it wasn't a choice then fair enough but I can't understand choosing to formula feed.

And think hard about going back to collage (even for just one day a week) when baby is only 2 weeks old. Thinking that won't be a challenge is some seriously positive thinking. I couldn't have done it.

Good luck with your pregnancy

You can do both, that's what I've always done. I guess you won't know until the baby is here but if you do intend on breastfeeding then try and do a bit of reading or attend a class first, I'm on my third baby and have not found it has come naturally to me for any of them. I'm currently pumping (NICU stay and tongue tie) and then topping up with formula and that works for us.

Currently breastfeeding my 6 month old, as pp's have said, it's challenging at first, can be exhausting but worth it!

However, from my personal experience I would combi feed next time as DC refuses a bottle, so I can feel trapped sometimes, plus my partner found it hard not being able to help in the times I was exhausted and emotional!

Enjoy whichever way you decide

My post had paragraphs when I wrote it

And the emoji at the end of my post should have been flowers, not gin!

"If you express breast milk you don’t need to sterilise."

This is not true, you do need to sterilise when it comes to bottle feeding - be it formula or expressing.

I'm 9 months into breastfeeding my first baby (I'm breastfeeding as I'm typing this!) and love it, but of course everyone is different. If you do want to breastfeed I'd really recommend doing some research and buying some bits in preparation before the baby arrives - for me that was key. I read books and did online research, bought some basic things like a cushion and water bottle and attended a breastfeeding class.

Good luck with your pregnancy and enjoy feeding your baby whichever way you decide

You don't need to sterilise bottles if you use breastmilk, my child health book says you don't.
I would be very cautious about going back to college so soon. I would highlight your situation to your course organiser and see whether if things were too hard, if it might be possible to defer the remainder of the course. You have no idea how the birth will go, 2 weeks post partum I was probably still severely anaemic and exhausted. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

No, if you’re feeding expressed Breast t milk you don’t actually ‘need’ to sterilise bottles. This is well accepted advice given by many lacto consultants and infant feeding specialists, although the nhs advice does suggest sterilising bottles and teats even when expressing. They also don’t advocate use of machines such as perfect prep as they don’t heat the water hot enough to kill bacteria in the milk but a hell of a lot of parents ignore that advice, I know which one is more ‘risky’. A hot wash with soap and water or dishwasher is adequate. Breast milk is really antibacterial.