Debating breastfeeding or formula

[BeckyG86]

Hi there.

I am 33 and pregnant with my first baby. It is still early days for us as I am only 8+4 weeks but we have been looking at different things we will need to buy to get an idea on finance. One of the things were sterialisers an breast pumps, which I know, especially the steriliser, is an essential.

I am in a debate at the moment between breastfeeding and formula. I know of the breast is best philosophy, but I also know that circumstances can determine whether you choose to breastfeed or not, for example I wasn't breast fed because I wouldn't take to it (my Mom tried and it was her plan to breast feed). I plan on having at least 6 months maternity leave (pay permitting) from work so in that sense I feel happy to breastfeed, but the only thing that is making me think about formula is that work are paying for me to do a part-time college course. It is a two year course and I am just finishing my first year. I only attend once a week and it is still planned for me to attend as normal (with the exception of the first two weeks after the baby is born), and my Mom has said that rather than defer my final year for a year she will have the baby that day for me, which makes me think that formula from the start would be more convenient, and I haven't got to worry at college about expressing, leakages, etc (I don't think they have anywhere at college for expressing). The other worry is expressing enough for my Mom to have during the day (I have never had a baby and really don't know how much milk I would be able to Express as well as enough to feed the baby! I now that may be a stupid statement but I don't mean it to be stupid!)

My Mother-in-Law is a health visitor and has given some different leaflets, etc and will get some information on breastfeeding, but has said whatever decision I make she will support.

I know that the baby will get the nutrients they need regardless of breast or formula. It might be that I choose to breastfeed but the baby doesn't take to it. It might be that I choose to use formula but change my mind, I really don't know. I know there is a cost factor to consider (breast milk is free!) But I am not worried about that side of things.

I know I have a while yet to think about it but what are other people's opinions? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Can I get views from both breastfeeding and bottle feeding experiences please?

Thank you for your help in advance.

Apologies if I gave out false information regarding sterilising - I've actually never expressed a drop in my life so got zero first hand experience! All the health visitors in my area told me about sterilising and expressing, as did all the child health books I read. It just goes to show that books etc can all say different things!

I think going back to college so soon after birth is a decision you'll regret and/or change your mind on. There's not a chance in hell I would have left my 2 week old with anyone. And I was still bleeding heavily at 2 weeks pp (you bleed for about 6 weeks after birth - who knew?!). I was up and about pretty quick despite a 3rd degree tear (DP ended up in intensive care literally the day after I gave birth so no choice).

My DS wouldn't regain his birth weight and we ended up back in hospital after about a week too.

If you have a C section will you even be able to get to college? You won't be able to drive.

These are all things to keep in mind. Don't worry about expressing at the college though, this will be something they've come across before and they will provide you with a room to express in (not a bathroom).

On the FF/BF debate there's no right answer. DS is BF - I love it. It's cheap, no sterilising, lovely way to bond. I got an expensive Medela pump thing when I was pregnant as a gift and never used it (bought their hand pump when I went back to work and I actually really like it, and could get way more than with the electric one). You can always mix feed if you're away from them?

I couldn't BF so we FF, luckily we'd picked up a steriliser, bottles etc in the sales cheaply just in case. It's worth researching all the options, personally I hoped to mix feed but it didn't end up like that.

Agree with PP about going back too soon - giving birth is a massive trauma even if you come through it relatively unscathed. The hormones are nuts, I cried going to the shop round the corner by myself even though baby was safe at home with my OH. Add in the bleeding, the not being able to sit for long because of stitches, still looking pregnant for weeks/months, being up all night with baby, the brain fog, etc etc.

I'm BFing my 4 month old. Was hard at first... I lost a lot of blood and no colostrum or milk came in and baby dropped a lot of weight. I used formula for 4 days and kept pumping to stimulate my supply and drinking water. Eventually it came through and I immediately dropped the formula but it was tough going.

Now I'm so glad I persevered! Actually my DS didn't really cluster feed, he just wanted to be fed every 2/3 hours day and night. He takes a bottle well and I find expressing fine.

I like the convenience of just being able to feed him instantly.

I've personally found BFing great for weight loss too. I haven't had a huge appetite as some report.

Everyone is different 🤷🏽‍♀️

Hey darling, I am a mum of two adorable kids. I would highly recommend trying to breastfeed first. Make sure you have nipple cream, nipple shields and breast pads to out in your bra not to leak everywhere. Nipple shields will help you go through the initial pain of breastfeeding and are very easy to use. Whether you want to pump later or not, the easiest is to borrow one at first and get familiarised because they are expensive.

I couldn't breastfeed my first child because he had a tongue tie and wouldn't attach properly. It made me depressed and I felt like a failure for months. So the second time round, I packed a tin of formula for bub in my hospital bag and went there with the mindset that fed is best and whatever works for me and bub is best.

Don't set your expectations too hard and don't pressure yourself too much. In the end, it is about bub being fed and growing up healthy. Good luck and best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy.

P.S: a lot of hospitals and specialist do not recommend sterilising bottles anymore and just tell you to use warm water and dishsoap. It worked a treat foe both of my kids. I only sterilised when they were sick, using a saucepan and boiling water.

I’ve ff one and bf one, and having done both, I would say that bf is definitely easier and less of a hassle. You never know how things will work out, but I wouldn’t stress about making that decision now.

I also wouldn’t be worrying about buying anything on finance now. You can usually borrow or hire a breast pump if you need one (I’m assuming you’re in the UK? Our local hospital hires them out for £5 a month). You don’t need to go in debt to have one just in case. I did express for about a month with my first (unfortunately due to medical issues with both of us, I had to stop after that). I didn’t express at all with my bf baby. It really wasn’t worth buying. I also haven’t sterilised a thing with my second baby. With my first, when we decided we needed to bottle feed we just ran out and got some bottles, formula, Milton’s solution. No need to stock up and spend money you don’t have on something that might never get used. I’d just put money aside to spend as needed when baby arrives.

I BF and didn’t buy anything for sterilisation or a breast pump until months after my son was born. So if you decide to give BF a go you don’t need to worry about buying those things straight away, and unless you live in the middle of nowhere formula feeding equipment is easily obtained

I've done formula, expressing and breastfeeding. In your situation I would give breastfeeding a go and if it's not working for you then change. Fwiw I was told to sterilize the bottles and the bits of breast pump when I was expressing. I stopped sterilizing when he was about 8 months old. It would have been sooner but he had an operation on his mouth at 6 months and I was worried about infection.

I combi fed my first because he 'didn't take to it' as you put it (which really does describe it well - he really wasn't keen on latching from day one!). I breastfed my second for 17 months.

Just bear in mind that if you start on formula it's very hard to go back to exclusively breastfeeding because milk production works on supply and demand - if your baby isn't demanding it, your body won't produce it.

Having done both, I much preferred breastfeeding - more convenient (there were times I got caught without enough formula with my folders, stressful!), free, better for baby because it's tailored nutrition as well as providing anti bodies and hormones for them. It's hard for the first few weeks and can be painful. I was exhausted for months. But I wouldn't change anything.

I would combi feed and you’ll gradually fall into a routine that suits you.

College one day a week should be ok but if not don’t force yourself.

If you want to be prepared for everything get friends & family to get some of the practical bits and ask for vouchers as gifts.

An open mind is great, try to hold onto it x

I have done combination feeding until baby was 1,5 month old. My milk production started 2 days after birth.

I then stopped breastfeeding completely because he was a hungry baby and all he wanted was to constantly feed. With my milk was hungry very quickly and I was shattered.

The best results so far I have seen with all my mum friends is with combined feeding from the beginning.

Breastfeeding is great when out and about as you don't have to carry anything with you.

But if you want to leave baby with someone else a bottle is essential.

A few mums I know who exclusively breastfed without introducing formula and bottles from the early days had issues later on.

Currently one of my friends with a 7 month old baby is struggling big time. Baby doesn't accept neither formula nor bottles.

Just go with the flow really and do whatever suits both of you. I really wanted to breastfeed exclusively but it didn't work for us and we were both fine.

Also breastfeeding is only good for baby if the mother eats healthily.

I did 3 months ebf then combi fed one bottle of formula a day from there, which goes up depending on if other people are looking after her. I’m still breastfeeding 3-5 times a day now at 10 months but tbh I don’t think I would do it again, i find myself half enjoying the ease and closeness of it but half hating the unknown quantity delivered, the lack of routine it creates, the constant back of your mind thoughts about clothes/fullness&pumping if out etc

I dont know the answers or if my baby is particularly difficult but i do wish sometimes i had just ff from the start

If you do need a steriliser, we used a Milton cold water system and it’s really cheap and easy. Just fill a bucket with cold water and a Milton tablet and chuck the bottles in, they’re sterilised in 15 mins and you can just leave them in there until you need one. Change the water and tablet every 24 hours and you’re good to go. You can get 60 tablets for a few quid.

I would say learn as much as you can about breastfeeding before hand. I had planned to bottle feed then thought well I would be mad not to give breastfeeding a go, it's better for baby etc. I planned to eventually combi feed.

I did zero research however! I had never heard of cluster feeding. Did not bring any nipple cream to the hospital (essential). It was so so hard, I had no idea. It was painful and my nipples were cracked and bleeding (sorry I'm not trying to put you off) I just expected baby to take and away we went. Very naive of me.

My milk came in on day 6 and it was a dribble, made a coin sized spill on my top. I never got the full up feeling your supposed to have or sore breasts etc.

I breastfed for a week and then switched to bottle feeding. Did feel guilty but she seemed much more content, maybe coz she was actually fed enough. I wasn't a blubbering mess anymore.

So my advice is truly to learn as much as you can be open minded. If you can make it work then fab. I'm going to try again with my next baby with a bit more knowledge this time!

I would also add that good sources of breastfeeding info include
Kellymom website
Jack Newman is a bf guru- has books and website
Also I liked the books by Prof Amy Brown

Thank you. Going back to college is something I will definitely do, it’s my fault I should have explained myself better- I was going with two weeks as the minimum, if I end up with complications, having a c section, anything wrong with the baby (Heaven forbid) I will not be going back that early. I am due during the Christmas holidays (my dates show me as being due Christmas Day, but awaiting my hospital dating scan), so it is all varied at the moment.

Financially we are ok, not struggling or anything like that, we are forward planners and like to see how much to budget. I have lots of questions in my head at the moment and filtering through them all one at a time! I will be off work for a minimum of 6 months for maternity leave, but the plan at the moment is to work up to December and have longer off after the baby is born, obviously things can change but that is the plan at the moment. I would literally only be going to college once a week. I am not forced in to a decision with college or work, but as work are paying for me to attend I want to continue, and I love the course and the people on it. I will obviously take the welfare of the baby and myself as priority and not rush back, everything is all just a plan at the moment.

Thank you for your input and advice, it is all very much appreciated.

I formula fed my first, when I was pregnant with her I was adamant id be formula all the way. When she was born, I really wanted to try breastfeeding and unfortunately didn't get much support and didn't feel confident enough to keep asking.
Second child I said open mind and see what happened, last few days have bene mixed feeding. So breast and then bottle sometimes. Just see how it goes is my advice.
But man it is pretty good being able to whap out a boob that just gives milk especially through the night lol. Hindsight is always a tricky thing, I wish I'd gotten the chance with my first and felt able to ask for help

You don't need a steriliser if you're only planning to use breast milk.

@codenameduchess “I prefer fed is best”
Well of course you are right but it’s such a passive agressive response! Not you specifically but the use of the phrase.

I have no issue at all with formula feeding, I ebf all three of mine and then combination fed one from about six months, the second from about 8 months and the third we’ll never really he just started on cows milk. I still occasionally breastfeed my three year old and breastfeed my eighteen month at least five times a day. It was hard going sometimes but I don’t ever regret it.

I do have an issue with some of the quite frankly wonderful aspects of breastfeeding and properties of breastmilk being dismissed as if they were just another product in a tin. It is not the same as formula. Formula will never be breastmilk.

Bonding hormones are released when a woman breastfeeds her baby. It promotes bonding and relaxation via the production of oxytocin.
When a baby is unwell studies have shown that a mother’s breastmilk adapts to the baby’s salivia to adjust composition. When it is very hot breastmilk seems to be able to become more watery so as to maximise hydration as well as nutrition.
Breastfeeding also brings health benefits for the mother.

It is a shame that somewhere in the midst of this debate some of these aspects get lost for whatever reason.

I never wanted to even try breastfeeding so I didn't. I don't regret it at all and I won't be doing it if I have any more children. It's just not for me at all

I had to combo feed both of mine (first child for 6 weeks, the second for 10 weeks).

Having done both, for me breast was easier. Less prep, less stuff to carry, always the right temperature, free.

Conversely as long as I had my boobs with the baby it felt freer...but as the baby only wanted my boobs that felt very restricting.

The best bit of advice I got was from a woman with 5 children. Just give it 6 weeks. That got me through.

BF is hard and was sore (at the beginning) but it was worth it and it became easy. Combo feeding got me to the 6-week and 10-week stage (lots of problems including congenital breast defects)

It's almost like a birth plan - you can come up with your ideal scenario but sometimes all the planning goes up in a puff of smoke and you have to just roll with it.

Good idea to be informed about all the options and then wait and see what happens.

Eldest of four here, all FF in the eighties and nineties and all healthy, happy, intelligent and successful human beings. A good friend of mine is one of three who were all EBF until age two. Ditto for them being happy, healthy etc.

As a teacher, I could never look at a class of children and group them into FF and BF.

Do what works for your family and your life. Don’t feel guilty for your choices if made with love.

@Ginlinessisnexttogodliness and it's a shame that women are forced into breastfeeding when it's not right for them because they are told they have to, its best for baby and it's how a mother bonds. I have seen mothers desperately trying to bf to detriment of theirs and the baby's health.
So well done you for breast feeding, but you're bond is no stronger than a mother who formula feeds s

I would say: inform yourself about the realities of breastfeeding and give it a go. If you find after a while it isn't right for you, you can stop or combination feed.

You may feel a tremendous biological urge to breastfeed. Or you may not.

I'd suggest going along to a local breastfeeding support group (pregnant mums-to-be are always welcome!) to discuss your concerns. These groups help women to make informed feeding choices.

Lots of accurate, evidence-based info can be found via the Breastfeeding Network, the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers, La Leche League, etc.

It's easy to read information and hear about others' experiences, but when it comes down to it, you won't really know what works for your family until your baby is here.

Also, you will hear lots of women describe problems they had with breastfeeding (baby not latching, 'low' milk supply etc)... don't let this put you off! The vast majority of the time, these issues can be resolved with the correct support. Unfortunately, many women do not receive the support they need, and midwives and health visitors cannot always provide the level of breastfeeding support that is needed either, so it might be helpful to acquaint yourself with any local specialist bf support groups, possibly run by the organisations I listed above. Best of luck.