Annoyed with school, am i over-reacting?

[lifesteeth]

Today it was the school end of term achievment assembly. My son has been in it every year since starting school (to be fair most kids get an award for something, even if its just attendance).

Anyway this year he wasn't up for anything. I don't understand why as his report was full of praise for him, it said he is a very able pupil, polite, well behaved, top group, IT and maths skills well above average etc... yet hardly any good work slips all year and no end of term acknowledgment.

Anyway I wasn't about to kick up a fuss so went to the assembly anyway to watch my friends daughter get an award.

This is when I was left fuming...out of my sons class it was all the kids that are disruptive, bullies, badly behaved or generally way behind where they should be because they never do their homework etc. One boy inparticular got an award for "good work" when he's spent the entire year bullying my son, turning the class room into a war zone/zoo, had my sons friend in tears calling him a tramp, stabbed him with a pencil and then threatened him with a compass etc etc...

Don't get me wrong, it's not sour grapes that they got an award and my son didn't, I don't begrudge any of the kids their awards but why is it that the kids that do well and behave themselves are ignored in favour of praising the "difficult" ones?

Effort [under the circumstances] is what should be rewarded at school. This could mean a very bright, privileged kid getting a reward or a less privileged child getting one. Its down to the teachers discretion really, and the only people who can know what is going on are the teachers and the kids. THe kids themselves <span class="italic">know</span> if theyve made an effort or not. The kids classmates know whos made an effort. If we trust our teachers, then we must believe that they know what theyre doing. I donT think kids need to be patronised (as I said, they know if they`Ve done well), but I do think reward systems need to be based on more than actual results.

Chipbutty, shocking that you pick and choose who to give presents to at the end of the year.

And VERY sad about the girl whose mother couldn`T manage to get her to school for more than three days in a row.

I agree with you too

it's the same with my dd1 - she is well-behaved at school, friendly & sweet and never ever gets a certificate - it's become a standing joke at home . There are only 100 pupils in total at school and about 6-8 get a certificate every week - I can't display the ones dd2 (who has SN thus the certificates I guess ) gets on a regular basis because it's just becoming ridiculously unfair on dd1. Her last one is from 1.5 years ago.

I do generally agree with giving certificates to those who have to try the hardest/in the crappiest circumstances etc., btw.
Just think it's getting a bit ridiculous for poor dd1.

Agree certificates/awards are good for children who struggle with whatever they are getting an award for. But speaking as a bright child who never got a bloody award because good work was expected, it did feel unfair. I couldn't help being bright, any more than other children could help being not so bright. I couldn't get any higher marks than I did so how the hell was I supposed to 'improve'? Seriously, am not bragging, this was at junior school and I wasn't top of the class once I went to a selective secondary, but it struck me as bloody unfair, especially since I was helping the not so bright kids! (Helping in an OK way, that the teacher could see, not in an underhand cheating way.)

As a teacher I did sometimes hate the way these reward assemblies were run. The naughtiest, most disruptive kids were rewarded with certificates and prizes. Apparantly to encourage them. It didn't work. They didn't change the next year. Meanwhile the kids who always worked well, who kept their head down, prduced consistently good work, caused no rpobekms, etc. were overlooked for such rewards - apparantly they don't need the encouragement I hated that aspect of it. It was all so blatant. The better behaved pupil just become complacent about it all after a time, and the reward assemblied become devalued and have little meaning.

I had no problem with rewarding children who have tried hard and put in effort, but to reward those who cause grief around the school, both other pupils and for staff, is ridiculous. What does it say to the other pupils who are working well?

I think it just shows that you can't win! As I said, in my dd's school she and one or two of her equally goody-goody friends always seem to be getting awards and so on - and if I was another child's parent I would definitely think it wasn't fair!