How awful is it going back to work after maternity leave?

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I am dreading leaving my baby. How awful is it? Will be leaving him for 3-4 days per week (TBC) and for at least 10 hours at a time (due to commute). LO will be in nursery. Please tell me it won't be as dreadful as I am imagining. LO is EBF. Doesn't eat solids or drink from a cup very reliably. Currently 8 months. Will be 12 months when I go back.

I was glad to get back at 11 months but I probably wouldn't have thought so at 8 months so try not to stress.

I love being back. I'm definitely a better parent now I'm not at home 24/7, and DD loves nursery thank god. It's a big adjustment so just be prepared to find the first few weeks logistically difficult and cut yourself some slack. But the first week will be hard, the second weird, and the third it'll seem normal. You'll be grand.

Oh, and DD was EBF, only took sips of water from a cup and I went back fulltime at 8.5 months. It was grand.

The awfulness seems to be a story we tell each other for some reason. It's absolutely fine. The initial wobble will be over with by the end of the first week and you will both do great. X

For me I went back to work four days a week when DS was three months old. He spent two days at nursery (on-site) and one day with each nanny. He loved it. He thrived and never got upset at me leaving him once.

For me, that was the best thing I could have done. I need to work outside the home for my own mental health, as selfish as that sounds, and because my industry moves so quickly you need to keep your hand in. I'm now back to full time and beyond and he loves that he can come to work with me and help plan for emergencies. I understand that won't work for everyone though, but hope it gives you some reassurance.

I merrily skipped back to work. It was not awful at all

What a nice thread. I'd agree entirely. I was delighted to go back to work. (DS was about eight months.) Our childminder was brilliant -- some of the things I thought would be potentially disastrous (like DS only consenting to nap on me) were total non-events as he simply accepted that things happened differently at his childminder's, and I felt considerably happier, and a better parent, for resuming my career. And discovered that I became considerably more productive.

You’ll be fine. You’ll absolutely hate it at first and prepare for all the petty work gripes to really wind you up as you start to think “I’m leaving my baby to deal with this bullshit?”

Then you get to go for a wee by yourself! You’ll drink coffee while it’s hot all the way to the end! You have a conversation that does not revolve around Peppa Pig!

You’ll see the extra money coming in and realise you can plan a super fun weekend activity that’s a bit more expensive. You’ll be excitedly looking forward to seeing your child again rather than sighing at the thought of figuring out what you’re going to do to keep them occupied today. That feeling of the excited shout of “Mummy!” When they see you after work because suddenly they have all sorts of fun things to talk to you about - and you’ll be interested to hear because you weren’t there the first 20 tines they talked about it!

It’s fine. After about 5 mins it’s like you’ve never been away

All 3 of mine were still breastfeeding when I went back to work. DS1 was greedy and didn’t care where the milk came from. Ds 2 and 3 were hardened bottle refusers. They were all fed to sleep or napped in a buggy. All 3 of them were completely fine at nursery.

Enjoy the commute! It’s a good buffer between work and home

You’ll be able to drink a cup of tea without being mauled and clambered on, you’ll be fine

I also wasn't ready at 8/9 months but after a year off was definitely ready!

Loved the balance of part time, still doing my favourite baby groups, drinking a hot cup of tea, being nquart again rather than 'child's mum'. Adult conversation!

Mondays were quite often tough as DD seemed to know I was back at work the next day & didn't sleep much but see previous comment about drinking hot tea, I made it through.

I just felt sheer relief!

Not ne

Bugger. Trying again

Not nearly as bad in the reality as it is in the anticipation, honestly. Most people find it much smoother than they thought and really appreciate the grown up time.

You'll be grand.

I went back after 12 months, 3 days a week. I loved it! I felt like a grown up again. I could talk to other growns about non-baby related issues. I remember having a real spring in my step after going back to work. The only bad thing was stressing about my DD at nursery but she was fine after a few weeks.

I wasn't ready at 8 months but was by 10/11 when mine went back - it was hard at first but I really enjoyed being back at work! I do 3 days a week too, long days.

I went back full time at 9 months. I cried all the way up the drive to work and had 20 minutes in the toilet before I went onto the ward.... then bloody loved it and remembered how much joy I got from my work. I often feel guilty about enjoying being at work away from my ds but it what I needed to do for my family as a whole and is what suits me.

Balancing shifts between me and dp plus childcare was a major stress at times but it's settled down now that I'm used to it.

I loved it! Nothing awful at all.

Not nearly as bad in the reality as it is in the anticipation, honestly.

And I agree so much with this. I cried because of built it up in my head so much and it wasn't bad at all.

First time I spent the two months before going back worrying about it and was a right state the night before. Had a bit of a wobble at drop off but by the time I walked into work and made a coffee (which I drunk while it was still hot!) I was absolutely fine! Currently on mat leave 2 and not bothered by going back in the slightest 😊

Those saying their DC were EBF bottle refusers, but were fine at nursery - how?!

Did they not eat all day?

I'm so worried about this when I go back with mine (plus the only napping while on me or holding my hand!)

Took me 3 weeks but then I loved being back!

With my son, I went back to FT work when he was 14 months, with my daughter, I went back to FT work straight after my six week check. I loved being at work, it’s only now they are much older and don’t need me as much anymore that I feel as if I have missed out on loads, had a great career and did my degree at 40 but now look back and miss the kids being little, as I was either working, doing chores at home or knackered. I thin’ now if we could have afforded it, knowing what I know now, I would have been a SAHM.

Those saying their DC were EBF bottle refusers, but were fine at nursery - how?!

Because they were 10 months old so they were eating solid food. They then breastfed A LOT overnight (look up reverse cycling) for a bit which meant I was knackered but they were happy.

It was hard at first but didn't last long. Enjoyed adult conversation and being able to shop child free after work. Still absolutely bliss now.