First birthday... no one to invite

[Poppy1989]

It's my boys first birthday soon, and I have no one to invite. I tired baby classes and made no friends. Iv been to activity classes and still nothing. Our family's are split up so refuse to be in the same room.we hardly have any friends that are close or who have children the same age.
I feel awful. I cry many days when I look at my boy playing on his own. With only me and his dad in his world. I wish I could find friends for him to play with, I wish I could throw him the best first birthday possible. One that he deserves!
It's so lonely for me and really feel Iv let him down. I feel terrible. 🥺

First birthday parties are really for the parents not kids. Your dc won't notice if he has one or not. Pour yourself a big gin and tonic to celebrate you survived the first 12 months and don't give it a second thought.

Don't worry. IMO first birthday parties are all about the parents and the social media photo opportunities. A 1 year old won't remember it and probably wouldn't enjoy a big party - they're easily overwhelmed by a lot of people and excitement.
Your DC would have a much, much more lovely day spending it with just you two. Lots of attention, maybe a trip to the zoo, park or aquarium if you have one nearby.

I could have written this myself. It's my DS's birthday in a few days and I've had the same internal upset.

Realistically though, he won't remember his first birthday and if he only celebrates it with you and doing something he loves, then it's a success.

If It's any help children don't 'socialise' until they're 3 either so your son isn't missing out. 😊

1 year olds don’t have friends. It really won’t matter one bit. Our dd’s first birthday we did have friends from our NCT class with babies the same age we invited (but god, birthdays are a lot of work, I swore I wouldn’t do birthdays again with my youngest til he was old enough to care). 2nd dc we moved house that day. He got a recycled present (hand me down that was his sister’s) and had cake surrounded by boxes and we were all too exhausted to care. He was just as content.

We went away for the weekend - it was for us not her of course and we had a lovely meal to celebrate in about the least kid oriented restaurant around but they made such a fuss of her it worked so well. Do something special rather than think party, they don't really appreciate them until 4 or 5.

Meanwhile think about how you can connect with people where you live, is there a drop in toddler group (rather than formal classes that attract a certain kind of parent) I sometimes go to our local one and it's just local parents chatting, no pressure (disclaimer, I actually go with my dog not kids as they are grown, he plays with them, it was by accident he went once but they all love him!). Otherwise try online local mums groups, I've made lifelong friends like that!

You sound a little lonely too. I hated baby groups too. My mum friends came at primary school really. And when my friends had their own.

Your lovely little one has you and that is all that's important right now. They don't play "together" at that age really. They sit next to each other and play on their own.

Have a lovely day together xxx