First birthday... no one to invite

[Poppy1989]

It's my boys first birthday soon, and I have no one to invite. I tired baby classes and made no friends. Iv been to activity classes and still nothing. Our family's are split up so refuse to be in the same room.we hardly have any friends that are close or who have children the same age.
I feel awful. I cry many days when I look at my boy playing on his own. With only me and his dad in his world. I wish I could find friends for him to play with, I wish I could throw him the best first birthday possible. One that he deserves!
It's so lonely for me and really feel Iv let him down. I feel terrible. 🥺

Your baby won’t remember his first birthday, if that’s any consolation.

Why don’t you take him out for the day somewhere he’d like? What about a steam train or zoo? A beach or petting farm. Take lots of photos and go for a meal?

When your little one gets to be about 2-3 and more interactive you and him will probably make more friends as he learns to interact with his peers.

A birthday party can be overwhelming for a 1 year old. A lovely day out with plenty of cuddles and time with you is far better x

DD's first birthday was just DH and I. We went to a local farm just the 3 if us then home for cake. It's really not that odd. We have no family close by and 1 year olds don't really have/need friends. DD made loads of actual friends when she started preschool and has a lovely group of friends (and 2 younger siblings) now. Your little boy only needs his parents at his age.

I can understand that you feel like you are letting your little one down but don't be so hard on yourself. Yes parties are fun and a you make memories for your family but trust me at one years old he won't remember a thing. Im living and working abroad at the moment and my kids are away from all their family on both my and my husbands side in the UK. My daughter has only started reception last year so she's made friends gradually but what my husband and myself have done on their birthday is to have a weekend break away. Took them to the seaside and aquarium and places that they were interested in and made some beautiful memories for their birthday. I hope your baby has a lovely first birthday.

Thank you all. I find it hard when I see others having big family parties and photos with everyone. And then think it's just us.
I do wish his world was bigger and that he could interact with other babies. Never thought it would be so hard to make friends

@merle1990 thank you so much. I really appreciate that x

Honestly, what your baby will like most for his 1st birthday is to have a lovely low key day with you.

To be honest I think parties are wasted on 1 year olds who tend to find the bustle and excitement a lot to take in. We've got years ahead of us of HAVING to do parties once they're at preschool/school. I'm making the most of these nice quiet early birthdays 🙂

For my youngest’s first birthday we went on holiday to avoid the fact we’d have no one to invite to their party. People in the birth bus went totally over the top with party and presents but at that age it’s only about the parents not the baby. Do something for yourself to celebrate making it to a year! Well done! Seriously that’s a huge achievement for a mother. Treat yourself, the baby won’t know the difference!

I agree with PP: your son won’t remember his 1st birthday, no baby does. Really, these celebrations are about the parents celebrating their baby’s first year. So, you and your OH can do that however you like. In fact, your son doesn’t even need to be involved!

As for socialisation, try not to worry about it. It’ll happen as and when he starts nursery then school. He will make friends. You can facilitate this by being open to hosting play dates etc.

It’s normal that you might feel you’re letting him down, but really you’re not. At this age, all he needs is love, security, food and shelter. Honestly. It will all be fine.

Take him out for the day, let him have an ice cream, and give him all the cuddles and tickles and fun and love that you can. It’ll be a wonderful day for him 💙💜💛

I have three children. None of them had first birthday parties. They are all fine well adjusted kids. You do sound quite low though - I would be concentrating on getting out of the house every day and trying different toddler groups to find one or two that suit you.
Your baby is fine, but concentrate on your own needs. You are not fine.

Big birthday parties look great on pictures but in reality they are a lot of hard one. I know this from experiment with DD’s first birthday, we did a big party thing, lots of family etc. DD was terribly clingy to me the whole day as she wasn’t used to so many people wanting a cuddle. She couldn’t care less that there was other babies there for her to play with.

A trip to the zoo or something would be much more enjoyable. As far as meeting people, have you tried a gymfants type baby class? My DD loved that and I met a few like minded moms.

You are your little boys world. As long as he has his mommy and daddy, I’m sure he will have a lovely day.

My daughter had her first proper party when she turned 4. I didn't even get any presents for when she turned one but we had some family over to celebrate. Honestly, don't beat yourself up, your child won't remember it.

Gosh I didn’t even have a 1st birthday party for my son. It just seemed like a load of hassle and babies that age don’t play together anyway! So don’t worry at all about that.

But, what a pp said - your baby will be finebut you don’t sound fine. Persist with the toddler groups and look after yourself, it’ll all fall into place eventually x

If your family cannot put their differences aside for your little ones 1st Birthday then they do not deserve to be in his life.

You are all your little one needs, take lots of photos and videos and plan something special like a trip to the Zoo, enjoy every moment.

I don’t do parties. Have a birthday family day out instead, lots of lovely memories to be made that way and don’t worry about him not having friends yet, as soon as he starts school he’ll have plenty and be bringing home party invites all the time

None of my three had birthday parties when they were 1. We have a tiny family - neither me or DH have cousins, brothers and sisters or friends with children. We were still are literally on our own. You don't need lots of people around you to make your boy's first birthday special - only the special important people matter. Your boy, your husband and you. You don't need anyone else.

There really is no need to have a party - 1 year olds have no idea what day it is and not having a party will not traumatise your DS. Leave the party invites for when he is at school. I promise you there will come the day when you dread the dreaded birthday parties - get saving!

You certainly don't need to have a party, wait til he's in nursery or school. We had family things only until dd was four (and then a hellish soft play party with nursery friends.) she didn't have any baby friends the same age.

Oh gosh one year olds don't need parties or a bunch of friends. You are your baby's world- he'll be much happier going to the park with just you and DH than he would be having a huge party with a million 'friends'.

Don't feel bad at all, your baby has everything he needs. When he is bigger he'll be in nursery and school etc and he'll make friends with his peers that way.

One year old babies don't have friends. First birthdays are for the parents - which there is nothing wrong with, of course. It's a lovely excuse for a party. You could use it as an excuse for a nice day out or lunch somewhere with DP and baby. But definitely don't worry your baby will be upset over it.

If it's your own lack of friends that is getting you down, maybe try to address that seperately.

Try the NCT. I did an early years course so my daughter's first birthday party was just with the people I met from the course. We had other friends by her second birthday.

I hope you enjoy a lovely birthday with your baby - party completely unnecessary at his age but as others have said, a day out with your partner could be fun for all of you.

Were there any groups with a nice atmosphere or activities you liked/your baby liked? I would perhaps keep going to one of those. Even if it was just one that was nearby! You only need one person to become a friend and you'll feel different about it, but that can take a while.

I would recommend volunteering at a charity such as a toy library. I was chairperson for ours, you can take your baby, they play with the other children whilst you work with other mums loaning out toys to members. If your baby is sociable it works very well. And you make friends too.

For the birthday I would take him to the zoo, or a play zone, he won’t know it’s his birthday.

I've got a favorite photo of DD's first birthday - just her and me blowing out a candle on a cupcake. Don't worry about it - children don't remember anything from that age , you certainly haven't let him down.

It's DD's first birthday in July and whilst she has a couple of baby friends and a cousin, we won't be having a party. She won't remember it and it's a load of faff for nothing really - we're going to go to the zoo or something similar, just the 3 of us, she'll find that so much more exciting than a load of people fussing her.

He'll make friends at nursery DD started last week and her and another little girl have become quite attached already. As another PP has said, if they can't set aside their differences for a 1 year old then it's a quite poor.

Join baby groups. Some church ones are cheap and no religious. It can be isolating having young children
And I also felt bad for not having a big party but we did something small and in big scheme of things it worked fine