Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Have a 3 week old and boyfriend yelling at me to clean house ??

37 replies

Idontknow777 · 01/05/2019 21:42

Our baby is 3 weeks old. I had a really complicated and bad delivery.. 30 hours of labor, tons of things happened during it blah blah, I had a second degree tear and got chorioamniotis during labor & I have ptsd from the whole experience bc I was neglected during delivery & my baby & I were at risk for sepsis/other Things since I got that infection, so I have ptsd and am constantly scared, and my recovery physically has been insanely hard, I’ve had like crazy amounts of bleeding and pain from the stitches, during labor I lost tons of blood I almsot needed a transfusion, so iv jusr needed a lot of time to recover.

My bf has been good and let me rest for once (probably from encouragement from the nurses tha the needs to do a lot more) but recently, I started doing a little more bc ive been bleeding s little less and feeling a little better . Finally
Felt okay to drive down the st and do more around the house.

This morning I was waiting for the baby To sleep so I could shower and run to dunks while he was still here before he left for work for the day for like 12 hours.
Then he was touching me and wanted to take my pants off so he be aroused and I’d give him a bj or soembjnf, but I didn’t wanna take my pants off bc I wear granny panties and pads , bleed, and my stitches aren’t healed. He kept trying and was cuddling me from behind & kept lkke pressinf up on me in a way that’s not
Comfortable. I started getting annoyed and asked him to stop and he was really upset. He knows I’m wearing pads & need at least 6 weeks to heal. Then he left the house with a huge attitude, and wouldn’t even say bye to the baby I had to b like say bye to her.

Then he texted me to clean the house. I don’t even get to take a shower everyday, and I barely get to eat/hydrate myself, I’m exclusively breastfeeding so that stuff is important and I jusr find it wicked rude that because I’ve slwoly started doing things he thinks
It’s ok to telme to clean. It’s been 3 weeks. He goes to sleep before me
And wakes up after me. Hold her for 20 min top a day and changes maybe 1-3 diapers out of the 10 or more she goes through a day. I’m rally insulted. Our house is a mess but I don’t even have time to take care of myself let alone clean the place spotless . But he has time to play video games for hours almsor everydy. I don’t know what to do .

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 01/05/2019 21:46

Get rid of him. Your life will be so much nicer with one lovely baby and yourself to care for, rather than this utter waste of skin.

Jon65 · 01/05/2019 21:46

You need to put yourself and your baby first. Do you have anyone supporting you?

IggyAce · 01/05/2019 21:49

You and your baby come first, if he wants a clean house he can bloody well do it instead of playing games.
I would seriously consider kicking the selfish prick out.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

0-3 months old Antenatal & postnatal Babies & sleep Families
happyhillock · 01/05/2019 21:51

Tell him to clean the house, selfish git

eurochick · 01/05/2019 21:51

Eugh. Get away from this waste of oxygen.

Ratatatouille · 01/05/2019 21:51

That's awful behaviour. I'm sorry you aren't being supported Flowers. Do you have any family nearby?

thelastgoldeneagle · 01/05/2019 21:52

Get rid of the useless selfish twat. If he wants a clean house, he should be doing it instead of telling you to. You’ve just had his baby. He should be cherishing you. What a useless fool.

Jackielaffertyiscold · 01/05/2019 21:53

He sounds absolutely awful, get rid

Wheresmyvagina · 01/05/2019 21:55

I'm so sorry. 3 weeks post birth is the most horrible time to realise your 'partner' is an abusive piece of shit. You're vulnerable and you will be relying on him for a lot.
When your stitches are healed and you feel a bit better please ask your family/friends/whoever for help to leave him. His attitude is absolutely vile and it won't get better.

AssassinatedBeauty · 01/05/2019 21:56

I'm shocked by his behaviour. It's awful and no one should have to experience that kind of behaviour after giving birth and having such a traumatic time.

Do you have supportive family that you could go and stay with whilst you recover and work out how to remove this waste of space from your life?

Peachesandcream14 · 01/05/2019 21:58

My ex was like this, I wish I had left when DD was small rather than waiting almost 3 years. It only got worse, abuse often starts with the birth of a child. How he is treating you is totally unacceptable, I bet that you would never treat someone you supposedly love with such contempt and lack of care at one of the hardest and most vulnerable times of their lives. Do you really want to be with someone like that? If you have any way at all of kicking him out or going to live with family I would recommend you do it without a backwards glance.

Atalune · 01/05/2019 21:59

He’s really horrible.

Kick him to the kerb.

WanderingTrolley1 · 01/05/2019 21:59

LTB

justdog · 01/05/2019 22:00

My 'fiancé' was like this... horrible, pushy, didn't care that I was absolutely floored by a very difficult labour... 18 months on, dd and I are far far far happier and settled without him in our lives...

Erythronium · 01/05/2019 22:00

Trying to have sex with you after what you've been through? WTF is wrong with him? He doesn't care about you at all.

What are you options on leaving him? You'd be so much better off on your own with your new baby.

Honeydukes92 · 01/05/2019 22:00

🙄 If men gave birth there would be a 3 month confinement in which they could not leave their bed and required 24/7 access to a games console and take out food. Every conversation would take place in ‘the pathetic voice’ and the mere mention of a house chore would be punishable by inprisonment. Local decorators would flock to the house to adorne the ceilings with murials to commemorate the miricle of life!

But instead we get ... asked for a blow job and told we’re making a fuss!

EvaHarknessRose · 01/05/2019 22:03

Sorry for your trauma. Talk to your midwife or health visitor for support. He is treating you very badly. Talk to someone in real life and step away from this relationship, it will only get worse.

BillywilliamV · 01/05/2019 22:03

Change the locks my love, he’s a twat!

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 01/05/2019 22:03

He sounds incredibly young. And I’m afraid I get the impression that this was entirely in the cards (‘he let me rest for once’).

Do what you should have done before getting pregnant and having a baby and get yourself out of there. Pestering a 3 weeks post partum woman for sex? What an utter fuckwit.

Beachbodynowayready · 01/05/2019 22:05

Confide in your midwife. She can help you make the right decisions op. He really needs to move out.

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 01/05/2019 22:07

Please seek support from HV or Midwife and family or friends. He should not be doing anything like that especially given the additional risk of infection.

Managing a shower most days is a great start, and as time goes bye you’ll get able to do more. Breastfeeding is at times difficult but there’s lots of support available if you need any. Congratulations on your baby

mynameisMrG · 01/05/2019 22:10

I have read some of your previous posts. I rarely say this but please get rid of him!

sleepysleepsleep · 01/05/2019 22:12

Get rid of him. Now. He's vile and a pathetic excuse for a human being.

Mintandthyme · 01/05/2019 22:13

Your previous threads about this absolute bastard are just terrible
Have you anyone who can help you to get away from him?

NewName54321 · 01/05/2019 22:29

If you've not yet registered the baby, do so without him and give her your surname.

Swipe left for the next trending thread