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Parenting

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Overweight 4 year old - looking for tips

78 replies

toomanylols · 22/04/2019 22:20

Hello everyone,

I need help. I have an overweight 4 year old. I have been big my whole life and was bullied when I was younger and I fear she is going to go through the same thing. Genetically she will put on weight a lot quicker than her cousins who can eat the fridge itself and still be skinny as a rake.

She's starting school next September 2020 and I really want her to have a lower BMI by then. She's wearing 6-7 clothes now and she's just 4. My mum lives next door and is terrible for giving sweets and treats so I will have to get her on board.

Can anyone please offer me tips or advice or share a healthy sample meal plan in a day of the life of their preschoolers?

I try offer her healthy food but I've noticed there isn't much structure to our day, she usually gets whatever she wants I.e. wraps, yoghurt, rice cakes, she eats a lot of them. And when dinner comes around she's never really starving. She eats loads of jellies, loves chocolate, the treats usually come from my mam, my sister's. But being honest she probably has treats everyday.

Any advise would be greatly appreciated. Thank you xx

OP posts:
Seeline · 25/04/2019 09:02

I think more than anything you need to get a daily routine going.
Regular times for each meal, and a small healthy snack in between or before bed if needed.

Her body will get used to needing food at certain times rather than randomly throughout the day.

Plan the day's meals in advance - either weekly, or every few days. Even if it's just each morning have a quick think about what you are going to give her throughout the day.

Try and up her activity - playing ion the garden, walking to the local shop rather than car/bus, swimming, dancing to music at home, playing in the park etc.

How does her weight compare to her height? Check the charts - if she is tall for her age, she may not be that overweight.

Cutesbabasmummy · 25/04/2019 18:50

Tomorrow my son who is 4 will have:
1 weetabix with full fat milk and milk to drink
Snack of banana or apple
Biscuit as we go to playgroup
For lunch fish fingers (2) mashed potato, carrots and cauliflower and raspberries for pudding. Apple juice or smoothie to drink
For tea beans on wholemeal toast and then a small cake. As much water as he likes. He's very skinny but always on the go!

LiliesAndChocolate · 25/04/2019 21:14

@brollyjoy
Sauté broccolini?! What's wrong with a sandwich?

Would you mind a question? I am French, now living in Australia, and I don't really get the sandwich thing.

In France - well at least until they reduced the working hours to 35 by mainly cutting the lunch hours - sandwich were only eaten when you couldn't access food because you were on a train, bus or on an excursion. People who work and kids a school eat real food, with fork and knife. And to just throw broccolini in a pan isn't over the top, there would be some veggies with whatever piece of meat/fish/eggs you were cooking.

So to answer your question:
The problem with sandwich is first the huge amount of bread, mostly industrial, with a long list of additives, bread improvers, additional gluten and so on that you eat in a year. Second what you put in it. Processed meat is a class 1 carcinogen, no discussion allowed. So you can't or wouldn't want to put ham or other meats in it. But manly because a sandwich is not satisfying. It won 't fill you for the hours to come. There is no variety, no vegetables, no flavours, no nothing.

I had look at the NHS website and nowhere did I found the sandwich recommendation, so what question, where did this sandwich culture come from?

And I totally agree with @Babdoc . Why are people eating all day long. When I am in New Caledonia, I always know when a cruise from Australia has arrived because all of a sudden you see all these people - adults and children - on the beach eating crisps, or cracker or rice cakes or whatever.

Of course in France, children have a snack. After school you stop at the bakery for a croissant or other gateau, or two cookies at home, but then nothing till 7 or 8 pm. Because children have a real lunch in their stomach.
Crisps are party food, for birthdays or when you go out for a drink there is a small bowl with crisps.

Do your children eat now the way you ate when you were little? Or has something changed? In France, not so much. YEs the supermarket have shelves full of crap but mostly the culture of food is the same, as it is in Italy and other countries I have lived in.

Someone was mentioning the cost of eating the way I described.

A small steak for a child cost as much as a Frappucino in Starbucks or a milkshake or the Kombucha everyone seems to drink here.

A packet of mince and a bottle of passata isn't expensive and you can make meatballs in tomato sauce. Kids love it, and I usually add two handfuls of frozen peas (again super cheap) to the sauce. This is what I cook every time my kids have friends over and for some it was the first time that had ever tried peas.
Domino or pizza hut is way more expensive, because that's what my sons have to order when they go to friends' house.

It is not the cost. A meatloaf isn't expensive. A pumpkin isn't expensive . I cannot agree to that.

So why the sandwich? I understand for school but during weekends or holidays?

and and a small healthy snack in between or before bed if needed. a snack before bed? If you've had a real dinner, you certainly do not need a snack before bed.

Interested in this thread?

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SoyDora · 25/04/2019 21:35

LiliesAndChocolate I think you’re not considering the fact that a lot of 3/4 year olds eat their lunch at nursery/pre school. So they either get what they’re given, or get a packed lunch (in which case a steak isn’t all that practical). Until the overall standards of food provided at nurseries/pre schools/schools improves in the uk then lunch is going to be a tricky one.
My 5 year old has school dinners, which tend to be things like pizza, macaroni cheese and meat/potatoes/gravy. Not particularly inspiring. My nearly 4 year old has a oacked lunch at pre school. I try my best to keep it healthy and varied but they’re not refrigerated before eating, they obviously can’t reheat things and they don’t get long to eat, so I feel a bit limited in what I can provide.

LiliesAndChocolate · 25/04/2019 22:53

I get it, that's why I said
"I understand for school but during weekends or holidays? " and the menu offered by posters were for kids not in school/nursery

brollyjoy · 26/04/2019 05:53

Well during weekends and holidays we're quite often out and about! So sandwiches work well then too.

I agree processed bread is crap but it's just as easy to get it from the bakery, I bought a bread maker and use it every other day as we do get through a lot of bread.

SoyDora · 26/04/2019 07:03

Well so far this Easter holiday we’ve eaten lunch at home twice, everything else has been in cafes or picnics. For a picnic I usually pick up a baguette from the bakery section at the supermarket.

Cutesbabasmummy · 26/04/2019 09:03

LiliesAndChocolate I wouldn't say a croissant was particularly nutritious - white flour and full of butter! I think what you are missing is that many workplaces in the UK don't have a staff room or a cafeteria to enable one to eat lunch with a knife and fork. I have to eat at my desk. We dont have access to washing up facilities or a cooker so I am not sure how one would manage to eat a full hot meal in this situation? I often eat a sandwich. You dont have to put processed meat into it - you could put sliced chicken or beef left over from a roast in it. Or cheese. Or egg. And it can be brown bread with seeds. Oh and to disappoint you I dont drink kombucha either. I think you are making sweeping get realisations about the UK's eating habits. It's like saying the French only eat smelly cheese, snails and frogs legs.

MustardScreams · 26/04/2019 09:14

@LiliesAndChocolate isn’t making sweeping generalisations, the UK eating habits are horrendous.

Even reading this thread people who think they’re feeding their kids healthy food is bonkers. A snack before bed!! Honestly why?

If we did eat more like other European countries the obesity rates would plummet. As it stands were a fat nation with terrible eating habits and no amount of excuses is going to change that.

SoyDora · 26/04/2019 09:24

I don’t necessarily think it’s excuses MustardScreams and agree overall that the UK has poor eating habits. I was just demonstrating that it’s often difficult in the UK to provide the variety of meals that she mentions as we just don’t seem to be set up for it.
I have lived in France, Spain and Italy and children do tend to have better diets. Better food is provided at pre school/school, lunch breaks are often longer so families can eat a proper lunch together at home etc. Here, DD1 was school dinners which are fairly bland and uninteresting. DD2 has a packed lunch at pre school... the lunch boxes aren’t refrigerated, they have no facilities to heat things up and they have 20 mins to eat their lunch so I feel fairly limited in what I can safely and nutritiously provide. It’s a bigger issue than UK parents just giving crap food.

BingandFlop2019 · 26/04/2019 09:36

@LiliesAndChocolate Mussels?! "A Sole" for a 4 yr old? Steak? I think you're trying a bit too hard to show off here! You & I both know that 4yr olds don't eat entire fish! Nor are they able to eat Steaks! 🤦🏼‍♀️☺️

MustardScreams · 26/04/2019 09:42

@BingandFlop2019 dd has eaten steak and steamed fish since weaning at 6 months. I don’t know why it’s so hard to get? I’d rather that than breaded oven shite, ready meals and processed crap.

It takes 5 minutes to steam a fish fillet and some veggies. Less time than it takes to heat an oven and put beige crap in. I know what I want my child to be eating.

SoyDora · 26/04/2019 09:42

BingandFlop2019 mine wouldn’t eat a whole fish but they’re definitely able to eat steak! They would share one though (5 and 3), not eat a whole one.

BingandFlop2019 · 26/04/2019 09:42

@Grumpbum123 That's a lot of beans, sugar and carbs but no veg? Baked beans are full of sugar. They're also full of protein which is great but the amounts of sugar and salt is incredible.
Also fruit contains naturally occurring sugar and isn't good for eating instead of veg.

lumpy76 · 26/04/2019 09:43

OP go to your HV or GP and ask for a referral to a dietician. The dietician will be able to help you with your DDs diet and with your own so that everyone benefits. They'll also be able to give you accurate information and tailor things to your own situation. If DD is definitely overweight then proper advice from a qualified person is very important. Good luck!

LaCerbiatta · 26/04/2019 09:47

4 year olds are not able to eat steak??? How absurd! Why on earth not? Surely nothing to do with British children's teeth because they sure eat them in other countries!

And to the pp who said genes have nothing to do with weight gain, you're wrong I'm afraid, lots of research to prove it. Let me know if you want me to find some links for you.

BingandFlop2019 · 26/04/2019 09:55

@MustardScreams Steak at 6 months?!?! Well that was irresponsible! Not only a choking risk but FULL of fat

Pinkybutterfly · 26/04/2019 10:00

I don't eat steak but my kids 1 and 3 eat salmon haddock, hake, sole prawns cod... Oxtail ribs lamb... They love lentils chickpeas... I would say if they see you eating healthy they will eat healthy. I know what you are saying with relatives I really need to sit down with my mom and tell her to cut down the crap she gets them!!

MustardScreams · 26/04/2019 10:06

@BingandFlop2019 better than baby rice or purées! It was great, medium rare fillet. She gummed it for ages and sucked all the juice out. Never choked and now eats exactly what I do at 2.5 years old.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 26/04/2019 10:11

Oh dear, we've gone down the competitive "my child would nibble kale all day if I let them" rabbit hole. Is that likely to be particularly helpful to the OP?

SoyDora · 26/04/2019 10:12

My 6 month olds used to gum steak too Blush, they loved it.
Fat is good for babies.

SoyDora · 26/04/2019 10:16

On the ‘genes’ thing, I find this quite interesting.
I have 2 DD’s, 19 months apart. DD1 was born on the 50th centile, dropped to the 25th by a few weeks old and has been there ever since (now 5). DD2 was born on the 90th centile and has been there ever since (now nearly 4). Apparently this now means she is officially overweight. Both were EBF, both BLW. DD2 now weighs a kg more than DD1.
I am slim, always have been. My entire family is slim. DH comes from a family who struggle with their weight.
When you compare the girls, even DD2’s head is bigger than DD1’s. She’s bigger all over.
Down to genetics, or have I just been unknowingly over feeding DD2 from the day she was born, even with breast milk?
I now have a 15 week old boy too and he appears to have DD1’s physique.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 26/04/2019 10:26

Exercise, exercise, exercise. Ds who is 4 and on the 25th percentile for weight and the 60th for height runs everywhere. We walk a mile and half to preschool (and then again home), well I walk with the pram and he runs. He does a gym class, he plays football and he loves softplay and swimming. Are there any sports classes locally she could try? I think structure is really important and we try and go out every day even in the holidays/weekends so there isn't that constant access to snacks in the fridge/cupboard.

I also dislike snacking. There is a fruit bowl on the kitchen table and he can help himself to an apple/pear/orange on coming in as long as there is enough of a gap between his arrival home and tea. Other than that, yesterday he had the following:

Breakfast: Apple and a glass of milk. Sourdough toast was on offer but he took one bite.
Brunch: at Preschool. They had vegetable soup and a roll with either milk or water.
Afternoon: After pick up, a handful of raspberries and a glass of water.
Tea: New potatoes, fishcake, corn on the cob and peas with water followed by one small chocolate egg because we have far too many from Easter.

Starlight2004 · 26/04/2019 10:38

Do you follow Rebelfit? Trying to have a more relaxed approach around food and making sure she grows up with no "diet, good food/bad food mentality" I think is really important.

Shantotto · 26/04/2019 11:07

I know my 4 year olds snack habit is out of control and he is incredibly fussy. Until age of say 2 he would eat anything. God I was so smug! Then gradually he rejected more and more that I take it as a huge win if he’ll eat a spoon of rice or pasta. Luckily he’ll still eat some types of veg and loads of fruit so I try not to worry too much. I’m heavily pregnant and living with in laws so finding it hard to fix but as soon as we move I’m clamping down!

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