Overweight 4 year old - looking for tips

[toomanylols]

Hello everyone,

I need help. I have an overweight 4 year old. I have been big my whole life and was bullied when I was younger and I fear she is going to go through the same thing. Genetically she will put on weight a lot quicker than her cousins who can eat the fridge itself and still be skinny as a rake.

She's starting school next September 2020 and I really want her to have a lower BMI by then. She's wearing 6-7 clothes now and she's just 4. My mum lives next door and is terrible for giving sweets and treats so I will have to get her on board.

Can anyone please offer me tips or advice or share a healthy sample meal plan in a day of the life of their preschoolers?

I try offer her healthy food but I've noticed there isn't much structure to our day, she usually gets whatever she wants I.e. wraps, yoghurt, rice cakes, she eats a lot of them. And when dinner comes around she's never really starving. She eats loads of jellies, loves chocolate, the treats usually come from my mam, my sister's. But being honest she probably has treats everyday.

Any advise would be greatly appreciated. Thank you xx

My (skinny) kids eat ‘treats’ everyday, but tiny portions - ie two fruitella or one small plain biscuit. Chocolate bars are halved or thirded and their Easter eggs will last for weeks. Sweets that come home from schools or parties or granny’s get put away and given out instead of whatever I’d normally give them - they don’t get to eat them just because they have them. Pudding is fruit or tiny pots of yogurt/fromage frais.

Normal day is

• cereal/milk
• snack fruit
• packed lunch of sandwich, chopped veg, bit fruit, tiny pot of raisins/popcorn, tiny treat (two or three sweets, small biscuit)
• after school snack of chopped veg, fruit, tiny treat (only if they eat the veg)
• whatever we’re having for dinner and I try not to stress if they don’t eat the veg because they had those in their snack plus yogurt or fruit pudding.

Given what you’ve said OP it sounds like the best route for you is limiting the number of times she eats per day. I would say 3x meals and one snack (but ideally it would be healthy like fruit or nuts).

I reckon on a small sweet treat once a day, after lunch or tea. Eg one chocolate biscuit. So your mum could still give a treat if she really wants but it will be saved up till after tea not eaten right then.

TBH exercise makes relatively little difference to weight, obviously it’s good for many other health reasons but it’s reducing the sugary and snacky foods that’s really going to make the difference on weight.

Prepare for some mega tantrums as if she’s never felt hungry it’s going to be a bit of a shock when she starts feeling peckish before meal times! And there may be quite a bit of sugar withdrawal too. It’s worth it though. Good luck.

You've kind of answered your own question already by noticing how she grazes and what her tastes are so that's half the battle already. If I were you I'd start gradually, buying the treats every other shop so they run out at home (airy 'oh I forgot', 'they were out of stock' etc), choosing good substitutes and leaving them on the table with very little comment - cucumber and carrot sticks, rice cakes, blueberries, and trying to be out and about or distracted for a good couple of hours before a meal so she eats better then. If you have puddings every day then drop them gradually. And maybe also be careful of language like 'treats' - so she doesn't always associate unhealthy foods with pleasure and reward!

Try nutritious hummous, avocado, trout salmon dips with your veg carrot, red capsicum & cucumber sticks sticks. Avoid rice cakes, iand eat foods with her that fill her up and have protein and healthy fats in them She will feel satisfied until next meal then

A small steak or sole for a 4 year old lunch??  . I'm not sure you need to go that far!

Sauté broccolini?! What's wrong with a sandwich?

My dd would gladly eat chocolate at every meal if she could . On a typical day she eats :
Breakfast of cereal or toast with marmite.
Dinner: sandwich or wrap with veggie sticks and some fruit.
Tea: depends on the day, someday its whatever we are having other days it's something from the freezer (homemade frozen portions) but stuff like bolognese, stir fry, sausage and potatoes etc.
She also has a snack of a biscuit (rich tea) at some point during the day and milk before bed.
A couple of times a week she gets chocolate or crisps as a treat.
I dont drive so we walk everywhere and she plays in the garden a lot on her bike etc.
You dont have to buy expensive food, I definitely cant afford to feed my 4 year old steak. Just limit the snacking and try and get her moving.

OP I do feel your pain, especially with regards to relatives! I can’t trust leaving her with my parents or in laws as they have no respect for our no treats rules (I asked my parents for example not to bring her chocolate at Easter as she already had been given enough, and not only did they bring some eggs the brought some mini eggs Easter cakes as well!). I will add DD does have treats but we give a small amount whereas my parents would let her eat rubbish all day if allowed.

My DD is 4 in June and we have a constant battle with her eating and weight. I don’t think most people understand as most toddlers are fussy or most interested in play than food. DD’s issue is she LOVES anything and everything and would eat an adult size portion if allowed. I avoid going out to eat as she will eat a full kids portion at a pub when most children would eat half, and this undoes everything we are doing to maintain a healthy BMI which is currently at the top of the normal range.

She eats very healthily at home but I’ve had to speak to her nursery several times about how much they are feeding her. In my view their portion sizes are far too big which is fine for the children who don’t eat it all but my DD does. I picked her up before then end of tea the other week and saw the huge pile of raisins they had given her, which are essentially just sugar.

All I can do is make sure she gets tonnes of exercise and eats really healthy filling food when at home. We do swimming, gymnastics and football classes 3 mornings a week and then I take her out to a park to play football or on her scooter morning in the afternoon.

I am dreading her going to school as in my view school lunches are far from healthy.

Make up a snack box. All of the treats/semi treats she's allowed in a day. She can eat whatever is in that whenever she likes but when it's gone it's gone and afterwards it's just things like cucumber, carrot sticks, celery, etc.

Honestly, she doesn’t need snacks, healthy or otherwise. It’s better to concentrate on healthy, filling meals and no snacks. Children and adults can go for a few hours without eating, it doesn’t do any harm at all.

mustardscreams small children have small stomachs. having some snacks is not that bad. I'd rather my ds had something small between meals than have complete meltdowns. I get hangry too.

Your main problem is definitely timings, used stop letting her graze all day and make her meal and snack times more structured

What time does she get up/go to bed? You commented earlier that she was having porridge at almost 11am, had she just got up?

Duh I’ve just realised you may be in another time zone 🤦🏻‍♀️

Teaching children that being hungry is an awful feeling (meltdowns etc) is a sure-fire way of having adults that have no discipline with food.

A 4 year old is more than capable of being told that they can’t eat right now, but dinner will be soon. Hunger isn’t anything to be scared of and must be prevented at all costs! Smaller kids that don’t understand about waiting I get, you can’t reason with a 2 year old.

I just don’t understand this obsession with snacks, mid-morning, mid-afternoon, supper?? No wonder 2/3s adults are overweight or obese.

Genes have absolutely nothing to do with weight gain. Its consuming too many calories than your body can burn. It's also nothing to do with big bones. Eat more calories than you burn = Weight gain. Eat less calories that you burn = weight loss.

I commend you though for catching it early but, you must be over feeding your child.

Take her to the dentist. Prepare the dentist in advance and get him/her to say that she should only have sweets at the weekend and should only drink water or milk. It worked for my daughter - she took it from him where she might have argued with me.

My dd is 4 and shes very active

Her typical diet is

Breakfast

Cereal/porridge and fruit/eggs spinach and baby tomatoes on toast or muffin

Snack

Veggies and cheese (babybel/cheese string)

Lunch

Ham/chicken/salami sandwich, veggies, fruit, yoghurt maybe crisps or popcorn

Snack

Fruit

Dinner

Pasta bake garlic bread cherry toms
Cake

Other times shell eat more, maybe a couple more snacks and sometimes 2 breakfasts shell have cereal and then asks for egg and and bacon.

However she plays outside alot at nursery 3/4 hours a day climbing, jumping riding bikes etc, swims 3 times a week, does 2 dance classes, and a drama class and skiing lessons each week so is very active

We also have a snack shelf in the fridge that dd can eat from at anytime it contains

Mini veg from lidl, berrys, babybel and water this helps

"genes have nothing to do with weight gain"
Bollocks.
I mean you are right that you will gain weight if you eat more calories than you use. But some people's bodies have much faster metabolisms than others.
I never understand that people clearly come, naturally, in different hair tones, different eye tones, different skin tones, different heights, with different natural aptitudes and yet there is this idea that we would all be slim if some of us weren't lazy and greedy. Some people have the tendency to be, for example, large breasted and large hipped. They will put weight on more easily than someone who is naturally tall and small breasted. Of course you can be a bigger or smaller version of your body shape but it is disingenous to claim that genes have no influence on tendency to gain weight at all. Otherwise where do figures like the venus of willendorf come from? I doubt prehistoric woman gorged on burgers to get fat....

Your size (and genes) have nothing to do with your child's size

Genes absolutely have an impact on body type and size. Of course nobody is obese unless they are eating too much crap, but yes we are all proportioned differently. Even those of us with healthy bodies.

DD is extremely tall for her age (2, but the height of an average 4 year old) and she is solidly built and strong. NOT fat. My friend's DD is just a few days younger and is very petite, tiny little thing, both in terms of height and build. If my DD existed on two grapes a day she would still be bigger than her. She has broader shoulders.

My son is 4 and is allowed to help himself to apples or bananas as long as it's more than an hour until dinner time. Only very rarely has other snacks, which I plan when there's a very big gap between meals (so they're planned, not given on a whim because he asks).

He has cereal for breakfast, something like tinned mackerel on toast for lunch, and whatever I'm having for dinner (today fishcake, mash and stir fried veg).

We don't usually have a dessert after dinner, but do occasionally - currently eating one creme egg sized hollow easter egg each after dinner until they're finished (tomorrow).

For those interested in the topic genes-obesity, this Harvard article is quite interesting
www.hsph.harvard.edu/obesity-prevention-source/obesity-causes/genes-and-obesity/

Bottom line, more than the genes, it is the inherited lifestyle and what you eat that activates certain genes that can cause obesity.

Kids also have growth spurts and need to eat more. My 13 year old ds is 5’11” and has grown nearly two inches in about 6 weeks. I cannot fill him up at the minute.

Smaller children too get more hungry at times. I don’t see a problem with healthy snacks. If you’re hungry you’re hungry.

My 4 year old DS is an eating machine - he doesn't self regulate at all, and would pester for food all day if left to his own resources. Even with my best efforts he eats more than he possibly needs, and too much sweet food.

I try to counteract it by LOTS of exercise. Junior park run, 5k bicycle rides, gymnastics, something every single day. Luckily he enjoys being active - it would be more difficult if he didn't participate willingly of course!

My 3yr old eats like a horse but it’s healthy stuff and he is really active.

Breakfast: weetabix x2 and/or porridge with raisins
Drinks: water or very diluted squash only.

Snack: apple and a couple breadsticks

Lunch: salmon, rice and salad (tomatoes, cucumber, peppers)

Snack: strawberries or grapes or a banana

Dinner: vegetable Soup and wholemeal bread with Marg
Pudding: yoghurt and sometimes a treat like something chocolatey

I think it helps to stop giving sugar as snacks. Give healthy snacks and keep the treats for “pudding” and only give if main is completed.

Snacks: fruit, carrot sticks, wholemeal toast with marg, breadsticks, soreen (ok that’s a bit sugary)

I think the whole snacks culture has got out of hand. When I was a child in the 1950’s and 60’s, we just ate three meals a day, and were far more physically active.
We walked everywhere- we didn’t own a car. We washed clothes and dishes by hand- no automatic washers. We played outside all day - no screens. The ice cream van came once a week in the summer - no freezers. Very occasionally for a treat, an individual small Mars bar would be cut into 4 slices and shared round the family.
Nowadays, you see people stuffing their faces in the street everywhere, carrying cups of coffee full of sugar and syrup, packs of crisps, sandwiches, chips, you name it.
They seem to graze continuously rather than have meals- it’s no wonder we have an obesity epidemic!