Newborn on pillow

[Garageflower79]

Hi,

My daughter is 4 days old. And for the last 48 hours has not stopped crying. Husband and I are at the end of our tether. The only time she settles is if she is on one of us, then the second she's transferred to the Moses basket the screaming starts.

About 20 mins ago, I popped her on a pillow on the floor whilst I grabbed a drink - and she's sleeping. She has been silent for 20 whole minutes.

I'm starting to wonder if she finds the Moses basket uncomfortable. Which leads me to my question - do you think it's ok to put the pillow in the basket? So I know she can't fall off it? Or do you think that would be dangerous?

Pretty normal imo- the only way my LO ended up sleeping not on us was when we put the Moses basket on the floor (not on its stand)-
Also remember this phase passes- I’d give anything for my toddler to sleep on me now- instead of rolling round constantly in bed kicking us

Taking the stand away helped??? How weird. Wonder how they knew! I'll try it - ours is on a rocker so maybe she doesn't like that?

Are you breast or bottle feeding? If breastfeeding days 3-5 are really hard as your milk is only just coming in.

My eldest wouldn’t sleep on his own for the first 3 weeks, and even then was hit and miss, my youngest was just 2 days.

If she is really awake 20 hours a day at 4 days old I would talk to your midwife or GP. Newborns at that age should sleep the majority of the time.

I was half and half for the first couple of days, now pretty much exclusively bottle - we need to be able to tag team. And she's got a tongue tie so finds breast difficult.

She's still on the pillow (I'm just sat here staring at her) and has now been asleep for nearly 3 hours, which is the longest stint I've had out of her since we left the hospital.

My three dc also loved lying on a pillow (I used to feed them on a pillow and they would often sleep on it as the feed ended). However as pp have said, it's not safe to leave them on it.
It's pretty standard for babies not to want to be out down. That does not make it any easier for you though. I wouldn't bother changing the mattress on the moses basket. Dc1 only liked the moses basket when it was put on his cot not the stand.
If your dp is on paternity leave, I'd focus on taking turns in holding the baby while the other sleeps.
It feels like forever but this phase really won't last long. Each week should get easier to put the baby down.

I think they need a firmer mattress encase they roll on to their tummy ( suffocation hazard ) but you could look at other baby mattresses our little bubba had a £120
Mattress and he preferred the pillow at first

We got a snuz pod so he could sleep
Directly next to me ... and that mattress is only thin and he sleeps fine on it, I think they like the softness of the pillow it hugs
Them but unlikely to get a proper baby mattress that is as comfy because it’s
Technically not safe x

Try taking her to a paediatric cranial
Osteopath- helped my sons dramatically with reflux, sleep etc. Good
Luck

I guess the pillow feels snuggly, they're used to being wrapped right round in warmth and pressure in the womb. Sinking into the pillow might feel a little like your arms. I'd put her there for naps as long as you're right next to her all the time (stops you doing any pesky chores!!) but maybe at night time as pp have suggested feeding her while holding her on the basket mattress and/or raising the end of the Moses basket.

Try tilting the Moses basket so she is not lying flat but do not put anything in the basket with her

Have you tried Velcro swaddles? It makes them feel snuggled and secure like being in the womb.

Have you got an appointment for the tongue tie to be sorted? That could be affecting her feeding and making her take in too much air which then makes them uncomfortable. They are less keen to snip it in bottle fed babies so there are private places you can have it done.

My DD has here done on day 9, only took 2 days after referral for NHS to do it.

I used to feed my ds with him lying on one of these memory foam pillows across my lap, then just transfer him onto the sofa/floor etc when he fell asleep.

Oops, pic might have helped

This stage is so tough!
My daughter was the same, would only sleep on me to begin with - so for the first week or so we took turns to hold her. Then she was content to lie right next to me, then in her next to me cosleeper. It was a very gradual process though. So, not very helpful advice really but another voice saying it's totally normal!
Good luck!

Loads of babies are like this even without reflux. It’s all normal.
Don’t use a pillow or car seat - too dangerous.
Take shifts with your husband holding the baby so you both get bits of sleep and keep trying her in the Moses basket.
It will pass I promise! It’s also Kemal for them to feed round the clock!
You will survive this I promise

*normal

Try swaddling her that will make her feel safe make sure you and partner have the scent of you on the swaddle so she feels she's close to you both

I agree with Oly, I think most tiny babies do this. Ds was on one of us for the first 11-12 days, we took it in turns to sleep. Give it time and keep trying your baby in the moses. I wouldn't rush to spend money on a new mattress. Slings are good for getting babies to sleep (we loved our Caboo) but I'm not sure how useful they are in this situation?? Op wants to put the baby down to sleep!

Look up swaddling techniques on YouTube. Made a massive difference to our pair. Good luck.

Thanks InDubious, I’ve had 3, only 1 had reflux, and they were all unputdownable for the first few weeks! It’s exhausting but will pass

I wouldn't do too much second guessing or buying of gadgets at this stage. Your baby just needs to be held to feel safe.

So much changes in these first few weeks, it's better to just go with the flow as much as you can. Sleep when you can. Only use the pillow if you can absolutely guarantee that someone has eyes on her, is able to concentrate on monitoring her and could not possibly fall asleep by accident.

It's very early days for you. Try not to plan beyond the next feed for now and enjoy those gorgeous newborn cuddles.

Agree with the above. At this early stage I wouldn’t assume reflux or anything. This is very normal for newborns. Untill 4 days ago baby was safe inside you and now she’s adjusting to the big outside world- only naturally she would need to be close to someone to feel safe and secure. It does pass, mine was exactly the same. Take it in shifts when you can, use a sling during the day to be hands free and maybe try the pram? We co slept a lot in the early days as mine just would not settle at all. It’s bloody Hard but some babies are just like this. Google the 3rd trimester.

Congrats on your little one.

I remember this well op. Dp put one of his worn T-shirt’s over the Moses basket mattress, so she could smell him. Looking back I can’t remember why we didn’t use mine...I think she was sleeping on dps chest a lot so he used his. Anyway it really seemed to help. It will get easier!

My baby hated her £££ Moses basket from the start. She is 13 weeks now and I’ve given up trying! In the early days when she wouldn’t be put down someone suggested we try her pram bassinet and thank god they did, she has slept like a dream in it at night ever since. Another friend’s baby will only sleeps in a sleepyhead in a cot.

My baby was the same for a few weeks would only sleep on me. Then I decided to persevere and had 3 tough nights of continually putting him back in his next to me crib and then it worked he would go down in it. Good luck x