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Original poster

My son threatened to 'put a knife through' a boy at school today

54 replies

Averagethreebedsemi · 18/03/2019 22:22

I got a phone call from my son's school asking me to meet with the headmaster 1st thing tomorrow morning. They would not give any information over the phone except to say that "an incident had occured".

This evening... he reluctantly told me what he had said to the other boy (..a boy who was/is one of his closest class mates ). My son verbally threatened him... he didnt actually have a physical knife on him.

I've told him that he is NEVER to bring any weapon to school or anywhere else. He is NEVER to threaten another child in an argument.

I'm so sad and dissapointed that such a thing would ever cross my son's mind or leave his mouth!

What can I do or say to the other child's parent the next time I see them?

What can I do or say to my son to help him to understand the severity of what he has said and to stop him from going down the wrong path?

He is 7 years old.

OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 18/03/2019 23:04

Where could he have heard such a thing? At 7 years old, that's what I would be thinking...has he got older siblings?

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/03/2019 23:07

My DD has been on the other side of this kind of threat at the same age. She was terrified for long after the event and I'm livid.

You have to work out why he thought of it and why he said it. Then work out based on those things, what you should do. In the case if DD's bully, I suspect abuse.

C0untDucku1a · 18/03/2019 23:09

Fucking hell! 7?!?! Wtf is he watching? That would be a no more youtube / xbox / ps4 etc for the next ten years from me.

VelvetPineapple · 18/03/2019 23:10

This reply has been deleted

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LovingLola · 18/03/2019 23:11

Your young boy is more than likely very aware of the absolute epidemic of knife crime that seems to be rampant across England for the last year or more.
He is only 7. He has no idea of the seriousness of what he said. Please don’t blow this out of proportion in your interactions with him.
Take the advice of the principal tomorrow morning and ask if you should contact the other child’s parents.

C0untDucku1a · 18/03/2019 23:12

A 7 year old deserves a knife being put through him? Really velvet? As you sound unhinged right now.

Mookatron · 18/03/2019 23:17

I would be going big on drama on this. Go in with complete agreement with whatever the head says and present a united front. If be getting ds to make an apology to the boy in question too.

But- he's 7 and presumably was very cross. I don't think the threat was especially worrying as long as it's dealt with properly, which I'm sure you'll do. If you can shit him up properly about it he won't do it again I'm sure.

RLOU30 · 18/03/2019 23:20

Shock @velvet
Fuck messing with 7 year old you Hmm

Original poster
Averagethreebedsemi · 19/03/2019 06:44

OP here...

I know the 1st thing people are likely to tgink is that my son picked this up from the home! ... and I dont want to sound naive about it... but this is not something we would say at home. We try to monitor tv watching etc so I dont think its from there.

Driving in the car we do hear the news and lately there has been lots of emphasis on young people being stabbed. He did ask questions me about it...and I did explain to him what it means.

OP posts:
Hermagsjesty · 19/03/2019 06:52

At 7, I don’t think he’ll have understood the magnitude of what he said. One of the arguments I’ve seen against constant headlines about knife crime is it glamorises/ normalises it - it’s very likely something he’s picked up from in the news. It sounds like you’ve handled it well so far. I’d just apologise to the other parents, reassure her you’ve spoken to your son and that you’ll be keeping a close eye to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Blissx · 19/03/2019 06:53

I know the 1st thing people are likely to tgink is that my son picked this up from the home!

He did ask questions me about it...and I did explain to him what it means

Sorry OP but he did pick this up at home. How you approach this will be very important to his future. I think you did to deal with his anger (and appropriate outlets for it) as well as his use of language and why it is so very wrong. And I would stop playing the news in car for a little while.

Original poster
Averagethreebedsemi · 19/03/2019 06:54

I am thinking about the other child.. is he now scared of my son? Does he feel like he is in danger?

This is SO BAD i am literally in tears right now... I dont want my son to end up a statistic in jail or worse!

He is such a sweet and charismatic child..but he does like being 'cool' but we always tell him to be kind to others etc.

I asked him to write a letter to the other boy to apologise and explain how he feels (i.e sorry).

I think I will reach out to the other parent too this morning..

OP posts:
clarrylove · 19/03/2019 06:56

It's a very gangland style phrasing isn't it? I'm sure he didn't hear that on the news! I would be asking where he got that phrase from.

SexNotJenga · 19/03/2019 06:59

Have the meeting with the head before you do anything else.

ChariotsofFish · 19/03/2019 07:01

He’s SEVEN. His understanding of what he said is extremely limited. It’s a horrible thing for him to have said, but he’s just a seven year-old parroting stuff he’s heard, he has no idea of the seriousness of it. Seven year-olds say stupid stuff to each other all the time. I keep mine away from the news, even on the radio, because he’s a worrier.

caughtinanet · 19/03/2019 07:01

I was thinking the same clary, I've never heard that phrase before, are those the actual words he used? If so it's unusual wording and could be something he's picked up from someone at school

7 year olds say things without realising the implications, I'd wait for the school meeting before deciding what to do next.

Bananasarenottheonlyfruit · 19/03/2019 07:04

Sorry OP but he did pick this up at home.

Or at school. Or in the street. Or from hearing/reading the news. But, yeah, it's all OP's fault Hmm

I actually have an enormous sense of deja vu that there was a virtually identical thread last week, so I agree with all the news around knife crime that this is something which is finding its way into younger children's consciousness.

I also don't think that most 7 year olds really understand the gravity of such a threat and that you can't go round saying this type of thing. They are just copying what they have picked up from somewhere else. Yes, he needs to be taught it is wrong, but I don't necessarily think he is on track to becoming a violent thug.

Lungelady · 19/03/2019 07:06

What does "cool" mean at 7?

Blissx · 19/03/2019 07:11

Sorry OP but he did pick this up at home.

Or at school. Or in the street. Or from hearing/reading the news. But, yeah, it's all OP's fault

Did you not read the OP’s update? I tried to paste both comments to be clear what I was referring to but obviously too difficult for some. The OP says he heard it in the car with her, with the news and immediately started asking questions and the OP answered him. That means that it was brought up at ‘home’. Which is a good thing because at least the OP has some control over where this goes next.

azulmariposa · 19/03/2019 07:12

There's been so much on knife crime on the news recently, he's picked it up from that.

You need to make sure he knows how serious what he said was, and the consequences that it could have.
I'd look into the bullying issue a little further too, he may have felt that it was the only thing he could say/do to protect himself.

Motherofcreek · 19/03/2019 07:12

At 7, I don’t think he’ll have understood the magnitude of what he said

This with bells on.

I remember being about 8 and found a butter knife in the grass whilst playing out. I’d just had a tiff with some of my friends and for some bizarre reason shouted them and raised it. I honestly didn’t realise the magnitude of it.

It got absolutely toasted for it in school. I don’t know why I did it.

Kids do and say odd things on impulse.

Obviously I’d talk to him about how other people would feel and that it’s not something that should ever be repeated on or acted out.

Because of what’s happening in the world he may feel the full force of the school. Good luck today.

BluebadgenPIP · 19/03/2019 07:15

Don’t speak to the other parents. Support thenschool to the hilt. And punish him hard.

HomoHeinekenensis · 19/03/2019 07:18

I got absolutely roasted at school for calling another girl a 'little perisher'. This would have been circa 1969/70.

I laugh about it now and how times have changed.

Motherofcreek · 19/03/2019 07:19

And punish him hard

Ffs! 🙄

Lougle · 19/03/2019 07:19

Calm down. Your DS didn't actually wield a knife. He said something very aggressive to express his anger. He's become aware of knife crime, but isn't mature enough to process the implications of stabbing someone, so doesn't realise the harm in threatening it.

Obviously, it needs to be dealt with seriously, and you'll just have to accept that it will be dealt with accordingly, but they also need to find out what was making your DS so unhappy that he felt the need to make that threat.

Apologising to the other boy is a really good idea.