I would like your honest opinions on my current situation at the moment. I know as mums we have to bite our tongue time to time or even daily.
So I hadn’t started to wean my dd yet nor did I think she was ready to be weaned. Possibley the last 5/6 weeks from what my memory can recall I noticed my baby had really unusual nappies only on a Sunday - they where chunky with dark green and black. (My mil would babysit Friday’s and sometimes of a Saturday morning whilst me and my partner work) I would notice stains around the neck of bibs and baby grows but thought it could be barrier cream, I found a spoon in the nappy bag and when I questioned my dp he told me his mum gave him it. Mil would keep hold of dd clothes to wash instead of giving them back in the nappy bag (I thought maybe she was just being helpful). The last 3 weekends while I’ve been working my dp would call and say dd is really unsettled but I thought maybe he’s being impatient as she goes down for naps really easy for me. So from all the above I became suspicious and asked a mum friend about the nappy situation and she told me if her diet hasn’t changed or if she isn’t unwell then her nappies shouldn’t be no different.
I eventually asked my mil if she had been feeding my dd and her reply was “yes sometimes I give her a rusk made up with her milk she seems to like it” I then expressed how I would of appreciated being told or even asked if that was okay before her feeding her and that rusks are absolutely not necessary for a baby they are full of sugar. (She knew dd hadn’t been weaned yet and that I would tell her soon as dd had). Her response was “she’s been ready for weeks”. Mil came round unannounced without dp there to be confrontational. She said “I want to know what all this is about me feeding her half a rusk” and continued to say “my baby isn’t a science project” because I said there are improved ways of feeding babies now hence why I wanted to wait until I thought she was ready or until she was 6 months old.
She has made the current situation all about herself asking me if I think she is a bad mum or if I think she’s trying to hurt my dd. Ofcourse I don’t think that nor do I think a rusk is going to kill my baby. Whether it of been a carrot or a rusk being fed to my dd its the lying and disregard to my parenting which has upset me the most. I haven’t had an apology or “I hope that’s ok” no remorse to that fact I’m upset about this just that she thinks she knows best for my dd and can’t see no wrong doing in any of this. My dp thinks I’m over reacting and is more concerned about me being “horrible” or causing a divide with his mum.
I don’t want to fall out with mil, I appreciate everything she does and the help I get but I’ve had to bite my tongue A LOT. So for this to now happen and for her to see absolutely no wrong doing I’m now thinking am I over reacting? Or is this a natural reaction?
Let me clarify that I do not think I’m overreacting, everything I have said to mil isn’t any jabs at her as a mother/gm I’ve only expressed my upset and well-being for my dd