Today I am fed up of my children

[RobinHobb]

Also maybe a little fed up of everything.
First DD1 was sick for almost a week (she is 3 yo) and now Dd2 (18months) is sick with cold/viral whatever. They won't stop screaming, they won't leave me alone. It's not really this week or the colds etc which are normal run of the mill. I am feeling so trapped. Haven't had a day off in 3 years, stay at home mum (DH not around but is well off enough so no issue with not working in an office for the moment). It's just so fucking incessant. Dd1 wants x, need a wee, wants this toy, wants to go upstairs, wants her dolly, nag nag nag, while baby is just screaming away. I'm not a bad parent really I don't think - or not the worst - but as I'm pacing the room up and down while baby screams and my toddler demands I help her with her cape/toy/wings I found myself snapping at her "will you just leave me alone for ONE second?!!!" It was no fault of hers, i am just fed up. I want a day off. I want to be like it was before kids. I want to be able to sit down for more than 5 seconds and have a cup of tea or a shower or read a book for 5 minutes - I want just a little little break from this. I am just fed up.
Not sure what the point of this post is. Needed a vent. Baby is still yelling even though have turned on the telly so back to it. God knows what dd1 has done in the two minutes I've been away hiding in the loo.
I want to run away.

These wee people are like mini vampires; draining you.
Can the 3 yr old not be content playing or doing something? Is baby in a routine regards naps? Could they nap at same time? I had 2 only 14 mths apart and routine saved my sanity.

@Bookworm4
Thank you for replying
I shouldn't really complain
Both are in pretty form routines which is the only way I could handle a baby under one and a (then) 2 year old on my own - so coordinated naps etc
3 year old has given up nap now but has 15 hours in preschool thank god.

It's just so incessant you know?
I look at people in the pub or walking down the road or in the market and think how lucky they are to be able to do that

When DD is at pre school pop baby in the pram and go for a walk, get a coffee and relax.

OP mine are about the same ages and I could have written this! My DH is currently away on business and I'm absolutely worn out by them. They need me constantly, but they have different needs. So I feel like I just go from one to the other and often the one I'm not currently dealing with is complaining. My 17 month old has a cold and cries unless I'm holding him today!

You have to factor some me time into the week. I've been insisting on this lately. Usually an hour or 2 at the weekend. DH takes the kids. Afterwards he usually says he doesn't know how I cope all week! I have also started taking my 3yo out on a Sunday morning just the two of us, to a cafe or swimming or just the park. Her behaviour has been better as a result - almost like she doesn't need to be as attention seeking the rest of the time because she knows she has her time with me carved out at the weekend.

It's so hard though. Someone with slightly older kids recently told me I was in the 'eye of the storm' when it came to parenting - it's just a tough combination of ages!

I am also wondering when I’ll be able to rejoin the rest of the human race.

Planned a really lovely weekend of child friendly, fun things to do. It was a bloody disaster honestly. I could see the MN thread about me and my frantic attempts to shut DS up whilst everyone else was gracefully wandering round with their well behaved children.

Solidarity! Toddlers are no joke

Single parent housebound this week with 3 year old with chicken pox. I've lost the Will today

I feel you OP. Mine are around the same ages and it’s an exhausting combination. Big one wants constant attention at all times, literally never stops talking and asking questions. Little one is very physical, screams when doesn’t get what she wants and is constantly climbing, pulling stuff out, grabbing older ones things resulting in screaming all round! And any illness and she’s so clingy

Yes to time to yourself on a weekend is a sanity saver. Also potentially some time just with the older one as I never have him alone anymore and it also gives DH some bonding time with DD. And quiet time for DS while DD takes her nap.

Bless all of you! I have been feeling a bit pathetic for not being able to cope and it's so so good to have solidarity. Not too many mum friends around me at the moment. DH not around, so no respite.
Feeling a bit better now that I've put them both to bed. Hoping baby doesn't keep me up all night like last night but it's the third day of her running a temp, it has to end soon...and dd1 going back to preschool after a week off tomorrow, so will have three hours only with baby.
The thing with putting baby in a buggy and going for a coffee is that - well, she doesn't stay in the buggy, needs entertaining etc. It's just a pita. I could do it when she was younger and it was lovely but now I'd rather not do that. I do go out with her in tow, for errands and whatever in the morning so I do manage.
I guess I'm just having a whinge.
It's the whole "rejoining the human race"... think that sums up how I am feeling!
Thank you everyone - it's really lifted my spirits
And I'm having a glass of wine :-)?

And I'm having a glass of wine! I don't know where the errant ? Came from.
It's good to know - not in a mean way - that others are feeling/struggling this way. Tomorrow I have swimming class in the afternoon with dd1, usually Dd2 is happy to drop her off and play with me in the lobby while the class happens. Gonna be a whole new load of fun if she is incessantly screaming as she is today.

On Saturday I took both of them out to the shops to distract them. Baby started screaming in the buggy, while we are all waiting for the lift. When the lift opened a lady went it with a trolley and blocked the entrance with the trolley. I didn't quite understand what was happening (baby screaming head off) and I kept trying to get in - lady finally spoke her head and looked at me and said "look, I just can't I have a head ache" and closed the lift doors on us (baby screaming in buggy, dd1 standing looking hopefully at the button, me with bags). I am not given to losing my temper or shouting or swearing but I shouted "you stupid b1tch" which she didn't hear. I really regret that because I don't want the kids to hear me say that kind of thing but I think it's an indication of how utterly fed up I am of not being part of the human race....

Op do you have someone who can help you occasionally if no DH? We have no family nearby, but I’d go completely nuts if I didn’t have DH to share the load on a weekend. And I put my 17m old in nursery one morning a week so I get 3 hours to myself that day. It’s bliss! (Appreciate not everyone can afford that)

I hope you do have some help. And don’t be afraid to ask for it either. You matter too

@Caterina99
Sadly no family around. But today baby is better and dd1 is at preschool so I'm feeling a lot better..and calmer. It'll be ok. Sometimes I'm really scared of what would happen if I got sick - something like appendicitis or an emergency - and then I tell myself not to be stupid and panic about a situation that doesn't exist yet!
It's a bit sad that I think of this age "the eye of the storm" as a pp called it almost like a prison sentence and I'm wishing it away....I do enjoy the DC and love them to bits, just there are some really bad days. Not looking forward to summer holidays at all....

I could of written this post my self. I have an almost 3 year old and 8 month old. If it’s been a bad day I try and leave the kids with OH when he gets in and go for a bath, although almost 3 year old usually finds me and wants to get in as well 😂

Is the baby the 18 month old?

Solidarity op

I know EXACTLY how you feel.

Daydreaming about what I'd do if I got a day to myself... a swim, coffee, paint the bedroom, NAP

Sending a solidarity fist bump.

Could you afford to send the 18month to nursery for a bit so that you can get some just you time? X

Hi Robin, Glad you are feeling better today. Sometimes, I feel a bit overwhelmed (2 older dcs at school but just turned 1 year old at home with me, full-time sahm). DH works full-time and no extended family at all and sometimes juggling the needs of 3 (at various different stages, large gap between them) can feel overwhelming.

I definitely need a bit of 'me' time and tend to scrape together time where I can (can't remember the last time I had a whole day to myself). I can also relate to not quite feeling part of the human race. TBH, I tend to avoid going into town because it seems an ordeal with baby in the pushchair, I tend to do about 90% of my shopping on-line these days and definitely feel alienated there.
I have had my children later in life, and most of my friends now have children aged 9 years plus. Whilst their children are at school (and indeed out of school), they do things I can only look on and watch - meet friends for a proper adult conversation, shop in peace, spa days you name it. I am very fortunate to have my little dd but I do feel envious sometimes because they have more space and time. Then there are other people at a loose end/claiming they're bored because their children have almost flown the nest...I'd like to try that for a while please!

@Mmmmbrekkie the 18mo is baby... just gotten used to calling her baby although she is not technically a baby....dd1 is 3.5 years so a 2 year gap.
@thinkingcapon from next term I'm sending dd1 5 mornings a week to preschool, till noon everyday. I think this will help, and after the summer I'm going to dive into savings and send Dd2 who will be 2 yo then to preschool two mornings a week. I actually think preschool did dd1 a world of good re social skills and speech so justifiable use of money. Two mornings off a week is luxury!!! So I'm just going to take deep breaths and focus on that. It was a fraught weekend and I was v tired. I need to get myself together, I'm very lucky in a lot of ways.

Thank you for the solidarity everyone!!! I was feeling really lost yday...

Wishing you patience OP. Just a quick one...
Have you got Netflix?
If so, I really recommend LowDown. X

@Lavenderdays
I'm not sure where all of a sudden my resentment has come from. I thought I had reconciled to this life of no life and that as the prison sentence went on I'd actually find it beside because an 18mo is easier than a new born right? Etc it feels like it's just flared up and now I'm angry because everyone else can go for a walk or have a shower and it's no big deal, but I can't. I need to work on this somehow

@howcanwe
I will give it a look! I watched a movie called Tully the other day which is about motherhood. It's very good.

@Tonkerbea
Solidarity fist bump! I think I would just spent the day outdoors.... I don't know what I'd do!

@SamanthaH92
@FrozenMargarita17

:-)
Solidarity!

Not Lowdown, LetDown.🤦‍♀️

My dd starts to scream every time I go to the toilet. It's suffocating sometimes.