Two under two? Am I mad?

[Alicia870]

DD is 5 months old and for some reason I am so incredibly broody again and seriously considering getting pregnant again soon.
She is my first and I had a really rough pregnancy, delivery and recovery with her. But now that km healed up it's like Mother Nature has made me forget it all and I want to go through the whole process again and want a little brother or sister for her. I do want kids close together anyway and my husband and I have spoken about trying to conceive again around July, when dd is 9 months old. This would mean 18 months between babies (all being well of course with conceiving)
Is this crazy or what do people think of 2 under 2? I kind of want to do it again when it's all fresh in my mind, I'm in the baby zone, and hopefully my body will play ball a bit better considering it won't be so long since it done it before.

I'm also worried about work though, as I will just be going back from mat leave and then hitting them with another pregnancy. But is that something I just shouldn't worry about?

I had 2 under 2 and I honestly wouldn't recommend it. It nearly sent me mad and my body has still not recovered and probably never will. However now they are 8 & 9 they are extremely close and have been since they were tiny. In that way it's good. But I'm not sure you don't get that with other age gaps.

I’d 2 under 2, then 3 under 3, then 4 under 5. It’s been hard. Very hard because my DH works pretty much 24/7 so no or minimal help in the mornings, evenings and weekends. But if my DH was around like a normal 9-5 type person I wouldn’t worry. But not sure is still recommend going to 4 kids under 5. It’s a special kind of chaos and stress. Nothing (no amount of help or support) can fix it but time.

Yes!! Don’t do it!

I had a 14 month gap, it was hard work, at the very beginning, but I am really glad it worked out that way. I now look back on the mad early years when they were both at home with me as an amazingly lucky thing to happen for all of us.

It couldnt have been too bad because we had ds 3 years after dd2!!

My dds are 11 and 12 now.

I had two under two and it has definitely been the hardest couple of years of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love them and don't know what I'd do without them but it's not been easy.

My DH is away for long periods of time for work so I'm flying solo a lot and it's been really difficult especially since one has nearly hit the terrible twos and the other is one is becoming a threenager.

What makes it all worth it though is the smile on their faces when they see each other, the littlest looks at his big brother like he's a hero and they are really cute with each other.

Choice is up to you ultimately OP!

I had two under two. Basically had no life for a couple years.

I had two 13 months apart and 3 under 3.5. Wanted to get the baby/toddler stage done in one hit.

Hard hard work when they're little but it pays off hugely later on when they're all into the same things at the same time and you see them all off to school in very short order.

I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant with DD2 and DD1 is just 14 months old.

Reading some of these posts is making me very worried that I've bit off more than I can chew! Lol!

I had 2 under 2 - DC1 was 8 months old when I found out I was pregnant with DC2, so she’d just turned 17 months when he was born.
Having 2 babies was way easier than I expected - especially when the youngest one isn’t mobile. It’s when the youngest started crawling and walking that it got a bit dicey! Having 2 toddlers is definitely worse than 2 babies!
Right now, they are 2 & 3. So I’ve got one who’s just starting the “terrible twos” tantrum phase, and the other one is in full swing of “threenager” mode - when they both go off at once, it makes me want to staple my face to the carpet
One good point is that they are interested in the same toys/games/tv shows etc, so it’s relatively easy to find something that will entertain them both.
Days out are easy to plan as well, as again they will both enjoy the same places and activities. When they are very small, either a double buggy or a single for the toddler and baby in a sling makes trips out relatively easy. Mine are now at an age where the youngest will only tolerate a buggy for so long, and when they decide to run in different direction, it’s a nightmare - but baby reigns are your friend! We use a toddlepak for DC2 if he wants to walk but it’s busy or there’s roads.
Two in nappies really isn’t all that difficult. DC1 potty trained at about 2 and a half, so I had 2 in nappies for about a year. Just costs a bit more if you use disposables and there’s more washing if you use cloth.
The only thing that’s becoming an issue now they are both toddlers, is the fighting. They are either best friends or are actively trying to murder eahothet, there’s no grey area inbetween When they want to, they play really nicely together and it’s lovely to watch. But when they fight over toys etc they are absolute savages. Luckily they are still small enough for me to separate them by force ie carry the instigator of the fight surf-board-style away from the situation I see that becoming an issue as they get bigger though!

Sorry for essay But 2 under 2 honestly hasn’t been anywhere near as horrific as I pictured it to be Don’t get me wrong, there are days when I want to throw myself of the nearest cliff, but I think everyone feels like that sometimes whether their kids are 9 months apart or 9 years apart!

Oh gosh, sounds daunting!

I’m currently expecting #2 - mine will be just under 18 months apart, like yours if you go ahead with your plan. It’s terrifying, especially because we live in a non-English-speaking country where we have no family to help us! How will we cope? We just will! I think my son will go to daycare 3 times a week so I can focus on the new arrival. Other than that, I’m on my own. I think I’ll be OK.

Mum had 3 under 3 and yes, she was mad. It’s a lot of work and small kiddies need a lot of attention.

I had two in 14 months then three in just over 3 years it was fine, loved having them close together!

@mybreadiseggy

I could have written your post down to the 17 month gap.

It's the second one moving that causes the problems. Then talking... There's not a minute in the day where somebody isn't chatting my ear off.

I'd do it again so it can't have been that bad!

My ds1 is 12 months next week and I am due DC2 in 3 weeks lol so there will just be a little over 12 months between them!
I am scared sh*tless at how we will manage as we have no family nearby, but I am fully prepared for it being hard work.
In a way we wanted kids close together (Im 35 and DH 38) but never expected to be this close, although I have got my head around it now and am actually glad. Someone said to me why walk through fire when you can run through it lol.
I think its hard no matter what the age gap anyway.

There are lots of positives having them close together, more so than negatives Im sure. I read that babies dont feel consiously jealous or territorial until after 18 months so Im hoping I dont have to worry about DS1 feeling that way.

If you have a good hands on father with your partner then thats good, my DH is brilliant with our little boy and around the house with cooking, cleaning etc.
Also as I am back at work (only for 8 weeks though - I finish next week!), DS is at a childminder 4 days a week and he will continue to go to her so I have time with the new baby during the day and once we are adjusted and I feel brave enough, I will take him back home with me a day or two a week.

When dc2 arrives in July ds will be 22 months.

Hmm

My DS is 2.3 and I’m due any day. I honestly couldn’t have coped with a closer age gap and would have felt that I had missed out on the 1:1 time and interaction with him as he started to walk and talk and develop his personality.

I had a 16 month gap between my first two. It was tough for the first year but worth it. Can't have been too bad as had DC3 two & a half years later.

Does anyone have any hints or tips on how to cope with a newborn and a 1 year old?

I would just add, could you cope with 3 under two? What is it's twins next time? This happened to someone I know, 15 month age gap and baby 2 was 2 and 3. You have to take that into consideration too.

I had two 15 months apart, I barely remember it I was so tired! No regrets though as I adore them both. On the positive side, it does get all the sleeplessness, teething etc over within one go.

I’d advise waiting OP- I was SO broody when DS was 5mo, then by the time he was 10mo you couldn’t have paid me enough money to have another... and now that he’s 13mo we’re being more lax with contraception but not actively trying.

The WHO advises at least 18 months between one birth and the next conception- for your and next baby’s health.

I am hoping to have DC2 when DD qualifies for 15/30 hours free childcare the term after she turns 3... Can't imagine how the hell we would cope or afford it otherwise.

I had three under two. Completely unexpectedly...DH and I had a conversation on DD1's first birthday and agreed that we'd like another but not for another year or so. Little did I know that I was actually already pregnant - and with twins.

DD1 was 20 months exactly when the DTs were born. Their first year is a complete blur of exhaustion, stress and anxiety. It's lovely now that they are teenagers (well, most of the time ), but I wouldn't wish that first year on anyone.

2 under 2 is totally normal isn't it?

When my DC were at primary school just about every child had a sibling in a consecutive year and I'd say the most common gap was 18 - 24 months. Have things changed so much that this is out of the ordinary now?

Sorry I can't help with whether it's hard work as it's what all my friends and family did so have no experience of anything else.