Is it right to smack a child aged bewteen 0-3 years?

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Hi fellow mums! I need some advice and opinions on whether you think it is acceptable to smack your child as a form of discipline? This doesn't involve gently tapping a child's hand away from a fire for protection, I am referring to smacking your child anywhere on their body as a modification to their behaviour? I am curious about the different perspectives on this, as my friend (who is expecting a child in May) and I (who already has a little girl) were discussing our very different view points on it earlier this morning.

Thankyou!

My stepfather used to beat me daily

My dad used to spank us as very little kids and I don't remember much of it honestly. My brother remembers it more. But what affected me more was my mum slapping my face between 9-15, it was only 3 times but I remember each time. I wasn't even a very naughty child.

I hope I don't end up spanking or slapping our twins, because I do think it's abusive. But I also know how frustrating kids can be. Hopefully I'll be a better parent than mine were.

No it's not ok, my ss is banned/nc because he was caught abusing our ds in such a manor over a 2 year period (think Jekyll and Hyde, was perfect brother with us, monster to little brother when our backs were turned, son unable to voice this as he couldn't talk properly yet, witness saw this which is how we found out and connected the dots). It is abuse in my book. Our toddler's behavior was terrible and he became very aggressive when his brother (was over 18 at the time) was around and in the following weeks after a visit. Took our ds about 3 months to calm down and use the tools taught to not be aggressive anymore. He is the sweetest boy now, very kind and loving. No knowledge that he has a big brother anymore either. First the random bruises went away to never come back, then we managed to alter his behavior and reactions to situations without the major setbacks from before. This took us a few months but was clear that source that was triggering him was removed so he could develop normally.

Nope

I don't think it's okay either. I was occasionally smacked by my Mum as a child (over 20 years ago) and still remember how scared I was when it happened. I love my Mum and we have a great relationship, but the guidance against smacking just wasn't there in the past. Very sad.

Maybe its just English culture, but in my culture smacking a child is normal even commonplace - not saying I agree with it but there are differences in child rearing depending on which country you live in...

Would I smack my child?
I would do my best to try every option known to man before I put my hand on them.

Maybe its just English culture, but in my culture smacking a child is normal even commonplace - not saying I agree with it but there are differences in child rearing depending on which country you live in...

I doubt it. Smacking is already banned in 53 countries and 55 others are in the process of banning it. England is one of the only 4 countries in Europe that still allow smacking.

@BollocksToBrexit

Europe isn't the world.

If you want a laugh, Google 'Sindhu Vee- How the British Discipline Kids'. I'd link you, but it only seems to bring up Facebook videos.

I never said Europe was the world.

I said it's highly unlikely that not smacking is 'just English culture' when England allows it but 108 other countries have banned or are in the process of banning it.

Never ever for any age, but to question smacking a child from 0-3?! What on earth could a 6 month or a 1 year old do to 'deserve' being hit?! Unbelievable that anyone would agree to this

Nope!!

I was smacked but only when I did something stupid that actually endangered me (I dangled my legs outside the second floor window).

I couldn't do it to DS at all though I don't think.

There are other ways to deal with behaviour and smacking should never be one of them.

You don't educate children by making them frightened of you.

Teach your child with natural consequences, firm, clear, fair boundaries, reasonable expectations, kind words, age appropriate explanations and model the behaviour you would like to see.

@BollocksToBrexit Fair enough, the way you'd written it made me think you were disagreeing with the end statement.

not saying I agree with it but there are differences in child rearing depending on which country you live in...

I doubt it.

Sorry for the misunderstanding.

No problem. Reading it back, I could've been clearer.

Absolutely not. Would it be acceptable for me to smack you to modify your behaviour? No, so why a defenceless child.

No, not at any age

Nope. Never.

Somehow I don't think the OP is coming back to the thread...

Absolutely not. Would it be acceptable for me to smack you to modify your behaviour? No, so why a defenceless child.

This is what another poster and I cautioned against previously. The sentiment is right; the reasoning isn’t.

You can’t compare a child in the care of her or his parent or guardian with an adult.

You - as an adult - can’t be picked up and sent to bed against your will, or told who you can or can’t have round to the house, or forced out of a house or shop because you’re unhappy and having a tantrum.

Smacking is wrong, but this equivalence with adults is very stupid.

Actually I think you’ll find that appropriate sanctions can and are used in our society to modify adult behaviour, for example deprivation of liberty or restriction on movements so, although I appreciate my post may have been an oversimplification, the comparison is not actually ‘very stupid’ at all.

Violence, however, is not acceptable.

I think you’ll find that appropriate sanctions can and are used in our society to modify adult behaviour, for example deprivation of liberty

And we all know how well that works. What’s the re-offending rate again?

I don't smack but have tap my son and say no so he understands. Just a light tap if I he reacted goes to object before anyone says remove object I can't with a radiator now he goes over and blows it if he thinks it's on

No never

No.
It's illegal in England unless it's "reasonable punishment". You can't reasonably punish a baby or toddler who is pre-language and has no ability to reason so I would argue it is in effect illegal in England for young children.
More importantly children learn by example. If you hit them you are teaching them that it is acceptable to use violence.

Actually I think you’ll find that appropriate sanctions can and are used in our society to modify adult behaviour, for example deprivation of liberty or restriction on movements so,

When exercised by the state, not by individuals. If you think there should be a special court for deciding the punishments for badly behaved toddlers, and maybe a naughty step operated as one of Her Majesty’s Prisons, perhaps with special parole arrangements, then we’ll just have to disagree.

Adults and children do not enjoy the same rights and, correspondingly, do not have the same responsibilities. It is stupid to pretend they do.