Is it right to smack a child aged bewteen 0-3 years?

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Hi fellow mums! I need some advice and opinions on whether you think it is acceptable to smack your child as a form of discipline? This doesn't involve gently tapping a child's hand away from a fire for protection, I am referring to smacking your child anywhere on their body as a modification to their behaviour? I am curious about the different perspectives on this, as my friend (who is expecting a child in May) and I (who already has a little girl) were discussing our very different view points on it earlier this morning.

Thankyou!

No. No. No. No. No.
And if I had a friend that I saw smacking their child they certainly wouldn’t be my friend for long.

When I was about 3, my mum had huge trouble with my potty training, I kept having accidents and just couldn't hold it. My mum admitted herself that one day "she lost it" and smacked me for soiling my knickers. She said I never had an accident again so thought it worked. I don't remember this but I do remember never, ever, wanting to go to the toilet and would hold it and hold it. I'm now in my 30s and suffer terribly from UTIs and have bowel problems to the point I'm considering having hypnotherapy to help me. My mum believed smacking me worked but she didn't realise the psychological damage she caused. That's the problem with punishment, you don't actually know what behaviour you think you're punishing. I would never smack my children for this reason.

Spanking and smacking are euphemisms. They are hitting.

Is it okay to hit babies is basically what you're asking.

No.

No never ever! Smacking is not the way to discipline any child. Vile behaviour imposed by adults who have lost control.

It's illegal in Scotland.

It’s not acceptable to hit an adult so why would it be a good idea to hit a tiny vulnerable child.

The argument can be made that it's also not acceptable to make an adult sit on a step/give them an enforced bedtime/ban them from the Internet or place conditions on their use of it etc. etc.

What are you doing to start saying to them when they start hitting back?

Presumably a similar thing to what they'd say if the child also wanted to stay up late, drink wine, smoke or do one of the other things that parents do that they don't want their children to copy.

(Don't get me wrong, I'm not pro-smacking and my parenting style is attachment based so I would never do it, just thought I'd play devil's advocate.)

Never at any age

I agree with the moral and practical objections. I am against smacking.

Arguments based on comparisons with adults and with the law on crimes of violence (as things stand outside Scotland) are wrong though.

On that basis it would be illegal to pick up a child having a tantrum in a shop and take them outside. That would be at least battery and false imprisonment, and probably other offences too. Same with the naughty step.

Depriving a child of use of possessions would be civilly actionable, as would going through a child’s belongings.

We need to recognise the different relationship - and still object, but for other reasons.

@KissingInTheRain said it much more eloquently than I did.

No.

I don't think a child of any age should be smacked. It's abusive and only teaches a child violence.

Absolutely not

I’d argue about their efficacy full stop, but a 0, 1 or 2 year old absolutely won’t get those methods

A 0, 1 and to an extent 2 year old can not tally misbehave though, can they? In what way could a 0 and 1 year old be naughty and need punishing?

I’m a believer in leading by example: I don’t hit my son because I wouldn’t expect him to hit someone who annoyed them (in the same way it’s not right for my husband to hit me, or me to hit him, if we do something wrong).

I can understand the knee jerk hitting of the back of the hand if a child is seconds from harm (although haven’t experienced it yet myself) but hitting as punishment is something I can’t understand or accept.

No never. For any child or anybody else

Quick smack or shout to protect or prevent an accident, makes sense but to discipline makes no sense. No different to bullying

Quick tap not smack

It's not right at any time, but especially at 0-3, because they don't understand that their actions have consequences at all. So even if you said I am smacking you because you did this they would not be able to grasp the concept.

They are just figuring out that you and them are not the same person, and that if you leave the room you don't disappear etc.

What you are teaching them, if you are hitting them at this is age is that the world is scary and unpredictable and that you are scary and unpredictable. They do not know how to predict when you will be nice and loving and when you will smack. This can have unforseen consequences later on. Although of course it may not.

Absolutely not, no, never!

No. Not okay at any age and does not work as a parenting strategy.

Would you expect to be hit by a family member if you did something you shouldn't have? Or would you hit an adult family member for doing something wrong? I'd say probably not. So why would it be okay to treat a child that way?

No. I can see why people did it in the past and in that context I wouldn't call it abusive but it isn't acceptable any more. Parents have access to many and far better tools to teach children right from wrong without bringing fear into it.

Why do you need advice about it? Surely you already know it's wrong

I'm pretty sure this thread is a fishing exercise for an essay/article.

Never ever ok to hit any child. Or anyone. Why is it if we were to hit an adult we could (rightly) be done for assault but because it's a child it's allowed? Makes zero sense.

Never. As far as I'm concerned any kind of slap or smack is abuse.