Tips for new Mum?!

[MegCharlotte]

Hello!
I am expecting my first baby and would love to hear your top new baby parenting tips.. e.g. what did you buy that were great/that were a waste of money, tips for coping with the transition, lack of sleep etc!
Any advice would be much appreciated!

I don't mean this to be unhelpful but everybody baby is different so what's helpful to one person, isn't to another. What's a waste of money for one is another person's lifesaver.

So my advice would be don't pre-plan everything and be prepared to be flexible. Know where to access advice when you need it so you can call on it when you need (NHS website, midwife/health visitor, breastfeeding helplines, Mumsnet etc) but otherwise try to follow your baby's cues and go with your instincts as much as you can.

I would recommend reading up on the forth trimester though. It will give you a good understanding of why newborns behave as they do and what you can do to help.

Sorry, that post reads really badly!! That's typing whilst making dinner for toddlers for you 🙈

I had my first baby just over two months ago.
Agree with pp that all babies are different. I had so much conflicting advice and suggestions of what I would need/definitely wouldn't need.

I would however massively recommend having a sling/baby carrier. This has been the one thing that is an absolute game changer.

If your baby keeps you up at night already like mine did then you're already more ready for the night wake ups and lack of sleep than you think.

If you have a partner try to work it so you both get a few hours sleep and if you don't both need to get up in the night then don't. I did all the night feeds as breastfeeding but could get some sleep in an evening.

Most importantly try not to worry too much about being prepared. Everyone says it will just come naturally to you and it really does. You do what's best for you.

Be prepared for a lot of unwanted advice from people that think they're being helpful. It's ridiculously annoying when emotions are running high and I started off trying to explain how things are different now but have found it's best to just nod and carry on as you were.

This turned out lengthier than I meant it to. Sorry.

Good luck. You'll be absolutely fine.

Be prepared for a lot of unwanted advice from people that think they're being helpful

This. People always think the way they did things is the correct way. Practice your smile and nod.

If you breasfeed in particular read up from reliable sites like Kellymom as to what is normal. From the minute dd was born i was bombarded constantly with people telling me she shouldn’t be feeding so much, she can’t be hungry again, still isn’t sleeping through, are you sure she’s getting enough, are you sure your milk is rich enough. Why don’t you give some formula, have a break.

Sorry pressed post too soon!

Take anything you think might help, but don’t let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want too.

Sling was a game changer for me. I second reading up about the fourth trimester. If you plan to breastfeed then find your local breastfeeding support group and join their Facebook page if they have one - mine was a vital lifeline for me.
I would also say not to worry too much about forcing baby into a routine - just focus on learning their cues so you start to know when they're getting sleepy/hungry etc, and respond to that as quickly as you can - makes for a happy baby.
Also the best advice my friend gave me is 'remember, no matter how easy or hard it gets - IT'S JUST A PHASE'. That one helped with cluster feeding, sleep regressions, cot refusal, weaning etc.

Waste of money

• baby hats

-baby mittens

I found pampers nappies are the worst !!!!!! Baby is wet through after a hour, never would I buy them again. Aldi nappies are amazing so is their wipes and baby bath wash.

MAM bottles I found are 10 times better the tommee tippee bottles. My LO would crush the nipples on tommee tippee and she takes less air in with MAM bottles as they are anti colic.

Once you give birth you will need loads of maternity pads. I went through atleast 7 packs ( boots ones are amazing) and your boobs will hurt so much when your milk comes in. If you don't breast feed I would definatly recommend to express a couple times a day to relieve the pain. Also buy some bigger sports bras for extra support.

And good luck!!!

Dummies. Buy lots of dummies. I was the parent who was never giving their DC a dummy. How wrong I was!!

OMG yes @laurensarah22. The amount of grows and suits I had to change before I twigged it was the nappies!!!!

When I was pregnant I worried so much about lack of sleep but my newborn was actually a really good sleeper! She slept through most nights from about 2-5 months now at 8 months she wakes twice a night but it's really manageable and not that bad! All baby are different but not all of them are bad sleepers like the internet would make you think!

No dummies for me, I bought some but dd didn't take them so I gave an upopened pack to charity.

Also enjoy and love your baby and let them lead you (Lots) say no to visitors if you don't feel up to it (I always felt bad but felt knackered entertaining and ensuring a tidy house is when all i wanted to do was sleep)Housework can wait and ask for help when you need it.

@samind I only used them because they were free ! My LO can be in aldi all night if she doesn't wake up for a feed and they have never leaked through

We're shop brand nappies too and they're cheaper too. Hold better and longer an she's comfortable in them. I had weeks of wondering if I needed a class in putting them on 😂😂😂

1. Sleep when the baby sleeps is wonderful advice but not practical. Get used to staying awake - splashing your face with water, taking a walk around the house and pacing to stay awake, getting some fresh air, stimulants like caffeine etc.

1. Following on from the above, get yourself a really great Spotify playlist or get into a podcast. Sometimes when up for long periods rocking a baby, some earphones can save your sanity and keep your mind alert. Podcasts are my favourite because they get me thinking rather than relaxing.

1. Get a baby carrier. I have a soft cotton wrap from Amazon and it's still a god send now she's 6 months. You can be hands free while sat down/walking around the house and the baby will be safe, snug and settled next to you.

1. If you do anything, follow safe sleeping advice. Some people love to co sleep from the early stages but I'm a huge advocate in following it to the letter.

1. If you like nice candles/room sprays but worry about the nasties, make your own with baby friendly fabric conditioner and water in a spray bottle or essential oils in water in a spray bottle. Soy wax candles give off less black smoke.

1. Do not feel bad if you don't want to go out/get dressed/see anyone. You do you. You don't have to let people near you or your baby for however long you want (apart from medical professionals).

1. If you're formula feeding, look in to a Perfect Prep machine. Absolute godsend for me when I couldn't breastfeed (had retained placenta three months after birth which messed with my supply from the beginning). With my older two I had to make bottles the old fashioned way. This way is SO MUCH BETTER.

1. Get one of those portable shower caddy things. Put wipes, nappies etc in there and they're easy to cart from room to room.

1. Keep your changing bag stocked in advance. Keep a spare outfit in there at all times, babies red medical book, muslins, nappies and wipes etc in there and top up as needed. Saves running around even more when you're leaving the house.

10. Get yourself an amazing tinted moisturiser (Laura Mercier do an amazing one) for days when you want a little boost without doing much. It's good to feel good.

11. White things will get stained however pretty they look. Not so much in the earlier days but later on it's a nightmare. I'm a huge advocate of prints to cover any stains a bit more that just won't budge.

Wow thank you so much to all of you for replying, and for some of you spending so much time giving really detailed responses!

I will take all the advice onboard and it's very true all babies are different. I'll definitely be checking out some of those recommendations and steering clear of leaky nappies!

If your baby doesn't sleep well then buy a Sleepyhead.

Instant sleep!

Total bliss.

1. Be flexible in everything: your opinion on how you will parent and the methods you'll use, how the baby will be, what you will get done in your day/week/mat leave etc. Understand it's ok to sack off your plans if you're having a shit day.

2. Lower your standards and prioritise. Massively. Then lower some more. You might get everything done your pre-parent self managed in a day on top of baby care, in which case it's a bonus and a good day to be celebrated, or you might not in which case it's a normal day rather than a failure.
   I counted eating 3 meals and a shower as an extraordinarily good day in the first few months weeks with DD1. I had no issue getting out the door to baby groups with her, but she was impossible to put down without her turning into a shrieking beetroot plus she barely slept so eating/washing/cleaning was impossible (it was also a heat wave and too hot to wear her in a sling). Other friends managed the washing bit but couldn't get out of the house: different babies, different problems, but with low standards you don't feel dragged down as a failure.

3. Buy the bare minimum in advance. Each baby will have its own indispensable items that another baby won't even entertain. DD2 spent many happy hours in a lovely 'as new' bouncer as DD1 wouldn't even begin to entertain sitting in it (see above). It was an utter waste of money as a purchase for DD1. You won't know what these items will be until the baby is here. Between 24hr supermarkets and online next day delivery you'll be fine and can get stuff quickly as you need it.

4. Consider second hand stuff: a lot is in mint or near-mint condition because people didn't heed point 3) 😂

5. Get a good buggy (and/or sling if you prefer). Read reviews, test them out (ideally a friend's with a baby in it over different terrains), and check against your personal circumstances (off road/small fold/big basket etc). Get the best you can. If you can't afford the one you want new, consider second hand as a preowned decent one is still better than a new cheap one. Not all buggies are created equal and you spend a lot of time pushing it.

Oh! Another one! Sunlight removes a whole heap of stains you think would never budge.

Some great advice on here!

1. As PP mentioned, lots of maternity pads. Also big knickers.
2. Do not attempt to try on pre pregnancy jeans until at least 6 weeks afterwards.
3. You will cry. A lot. For weeks. It's normal.
4. Buy laxatives.
5. On that note, both first poos (the baby and yours) are terrifying. It gets better.
6. Be clear with your partner about what help you need. It's easy to get into arguments when you are both exhausted. Explain to them what you need help with and get them to do it.
7. Buy a shnuggle bath.
8. Try to get out the house with the baby whenever you can. Unless the weather was terrible we'd be out every day, it's very easy to feel isolated.
9. Find some mum friends, preferably ones you can moan to, not ones who tell you their 3 month olds are very advanced.

10. Enjoy it. We're a year in and it's been the hardest, toughest, exhausting, brilliant, life affirming year.

Do whatever works for you (obviously while keeping your baby safe, fed, clean etc.) and ignore what everyone else thinks. As a toddler DD slept for 9 hours at night and 2 hours in the day. Therefore she went to bed at 11pm, as we wanted to get up at about 8am. The comments we got! But if I'd put her to bed at 7pm, she'd have been up at 4am, a time I definitely didn't want to know about! I'm sure lots of others can give you similar examples.

Learn how to swaddle my boy loved it and slept like a dream from day one. My nurse taught me and I accidentally took the hospital blanket home he still has it and sleeps with it. Buy a small spray bottle fill with water add a few drops of lavender oil and tea tree oil. Just before you wee spray your vagina after you wee spray again helps massively with the stinging and also helps you heal. Mam bottles and dummies are the best.

When drying vests hang them upside down by the poppers, saves tonnes of space!

A used a tummy tub for my dd, she loved it and it was amazing.
I think rear facing prams are great, I didn't buy one at first and had to get one on the end.
Oscillating chairs are great, dd had reflux and even slept in hers when it was bad.
Moses baskets are a waste of money if I was doing it again I'd buy a travel cot with a removable bassinet, we used a travel cot as a playpen when dd got older as we had a tiny galley kitchen away from the living room so I always knew she was safe.
Take a small plastic jug to hospital with you. The first few times you pee after having a baby can be awfully sore, if you fill the jug with lukewarm water and pour it down between your legs while you pee it makes things much more comfortable.

• Try to avoid 'competitive tiredness' arguments with your partner

• Those envelope bits in the shoulder of baby vests are there so you can take them off by pulling down rather than up - useful for poonamis

• If you're planning to breastfeed, bear in mind that anyone from a different generation to you might have got very different advice about how to do it, and try not to doubt yourself when your aunt's telling you "oh he can't be hungry AGAIN!"

• "Wind" is a magical catch-all explanation for everything a baby does, including crying, grunting, smiling, moving, looking a bit red in the face, looking a bit white in the face, wanting to be held, not wanting to be held, and so on. Someone will tell you it's because of wind and have you tried infacol or gripe water. Best response is "Ah, wind - yes," and then both of you nod sagely at each other and you go back to whatever you were doing anyway.

• Some babies just seem to hate being babies, this is not your fault, they usually grow out of it before too long

• If you have a constantly screaming baby that still screams when being held, stick headphones in and play music to dampen it down a bit - you're still comforting the baby but you're stressing yourself less

• It's my experience that for every baby trick or tip someone tells you, it'll work for about 80% of babies but the other 20% just won't have it no matter what you do.