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Parenting

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Original poster

Potty training nightmare

33 replies

xxxParisexxx · 23/02/2019 21:25

Hi all, I have a 3 year old, she is still in nappies. Has shown no interest what so ever in going on toilet/potty but has recently got a spotty bum, and dare I say a bit smelly and sweaty down there.
I thought id try and see how we would go today with toilet training.
Did a fluke wee first thing this morning and then stuck on some huggies training pull ups as I thought the wetness would help as normal nappies she would quite happily sit it wee or pooey nappy without telling me.
We have had about 8 wees and 2 poos all as accidents. Not one single attempt at telling me/going.
If I ask her if she needs to go she says no and refuses to sit on there. She then wets/poos and sits in it until I ask.
Please help! She will be in nappies at school at this rate

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

macaroniandpizza · 23/02/2019 21:29

Im having the exact same problem with my ds who is 3 and im at my wits end :(

stillworkingitout · 23/02/2019 21:30

I’m a bit confused - you say pull ups, so basically still nappies? I’d switch to pants/naked whatever works best. She needs to understand what happens when she wees in pants. It’s much easier if led by her, but at this age I would either go cold turkey, or do set periods of time in pants. No pull ups while wanting her to use the potty

saxatablesalt · 23/02/2019 21:30

My DS is just three. I've tried a couple of times but he really hates having his nappy off and just doesn't understand it at all. Nursery staff have told me it's fine and he's just not ready yet. I believe them. He'll get there.

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Original poster

xxxParisexxx · 23/02/2019 21:31

They are huggies pull up potty training pants so look like nappies but leave them wet on the skin to help them figure out they need to go.
The problem is if she is in knickers I'm going to have 8+ accidents on my carpet as she is quite happy to sit in her own wee

OP posts:

Ellieboolou27 · 23/02/2019 21:34

My first dd was almost 4 before she got it, I brought loads and I mean LOADS of underwear it was horrible and took around 6 months.
Dd2 was in knickers a week before her 2nd birthday and never used a potty, straight on the loo with a seat to stop her falling into it!

SweepTheHalls · 23/02/2019 21:35

Read Oh Crap Potty training

Ellieboolou27 · 23/02/2019 21:36

Stop for 2 weeks then go straight to knickers, take her out to buy some special ones and don’t use pull ups, put her on the loo / potty every half hour and use a treat jar with chocolate buttons / marbles for when she does a wee.

Rumboogie · 23/02/2019 21:37

You probably need to put her on the potty very frequently (every hour or so) whether she wants to go or not. Reward her massively with hugs/fuss when she does something in the potty. Ignore it when she does something in the nappy/huggy. She probably doesn't recognise the signals of needing to go yet, as she has always been in nappies so far.

PurplePotatoes · 23/02/2019 21:40

Do you think she still thinks she has a nappy on and so it's fine to wee/poo in them? When I trained my DD (and just starting with DS 2.4) I've gone with just knickers/pants/bare bum....and lots of carpet cleaner!

Maybe try it that way so she can see what she's doing ie weeing on the floor (I know it's not nice) give a chocolate button or whatever every time she does something on the potty and if she's still not showing any signs of getting it I'd leave it a few more weeks and try again.

TillyTheTiger · 23/02/2019 21:41

I found the 'Oh Crap! Potty Training' book pretty helpful. I had three days at home with naked DS doing lots of activities and playing lots of games within a couple of feet of the potty, every time he started to do a wee I grabbed him and put him on the potty, then did loads of praise. By day 3 he had got it and was taking himself to the potty every time he felt like he needed to go. Then we had a couple of weeks of trousers with no pants, so the association with nappies was well and truly broken, and finally introduced pants. It's worked pretty well for him, he's never had a poo accident and only has wee accidents when he can't quite manage to get his trousers down by himself in time.
I will say it's the most stressful thing I've had to teach DS so far, so stock up on wine/ chocolate/ bubble bath or whatever will help you get through it!

Brokenfurnitureandroses · 23/02/2019 21:41

We had to put nappies back on and try again at 3 and a half. DS just wasn’t ready at 3. At 3 and a half he still took ages, wasn’t fully trained till just before 4. We used pants but they were towelling with plastic inside. So they held a bit (so it didnt literally all escape) but they were very like having ordinary pants on. I would definitely forget about the pull-ups.

FurrySlipperBoots · 23/02/2019 21:45

Does she see you use the toilet? Let her follow you and watch you so she sees what it's all about, and every time you use it reward yourself a chocolate button. She'll want to join in soon enough then I'm thinking! Also agree with the poster who said drop it for 2 weeks, take her out to choose her own big-girl knickers and forget 'training pull-ups' or whatever as they just muddy the waters and complicate things. She'll learn that wet knickers are not pleasant, she'll want to copy you using the toilet and when she does reward her with a chocolate button too. Treat her like a puppy and make doubly sure to take her after an exciting game (or during if it's a long one!) after eating, before going out anywhere and before bed. Don't go by what she says when you ask her 'Do you want a wee?' because in my experience the answer is always 'No' even when they're wriggling and about to wet their pants.

Oh, and get a little step stall and children's seat that fits over the main one to help her feel more confident.

PMmehunx · 23/02/2019 22:04

You could always do this to protect your carpet

My daughter is trained but had an accident the other day, she was fully clothed and the wee never actually got to the floor. Was just down her trouser legs. So you could try with the pants and some leggings maybe?
I do think going straight to pants would really help.

Boulardii · 23/02/2019 22:10

You need to ditch the pull-ups. The marketing says they are for potty training, but as you have experienced, they confuse kids. Bare bottoms at home, and no worrying about the carpet is the best way to help them. Pick a week when you can stay at home, or even play in the garden if possible, and buy a bottle of
Dettol. The carpet should be the least of your worries.

hiphopapotamuses · 23/02/2019 22:18

Another recommendation for oh crap potty training book here.

Original poster

xxxParisexxx · 23/02/2019 22:22

Thank you for all your suggestions
Yes she follows me to the loo and also I have tried a chocolate button/sticker.
If she doesn't want to sit on there, there's
no making her, she gets very very upset.
I will leave it a couple of weeks and try again. I just don't think she cares if she is wet at all x

OP posts:

Fatted · 23/02/2019 22:24

The first day is a bit crap honestly. Hang in there.

One thing I've found that helped with potty training my two and that no one seems to tell you, is that you do really need to remind your kids to go to begin with. Every 30 mins to an hour, encourage them to go to the toilet. It's not really fair to expect them to just work it out themselves straight away. It took my two about a week to crack it each, with lots of reminding from me as well.

SandAndSnow · 23/02/2019 22:25

Oh Crap Potty Training is a great book.

Bare bottom at home until she's taking herself to the potty. Then no pants for a few weeks, just trousers.

Anything like pull-ups or pants will confuse them because it feels like a nappy.

Original poster

xxxParisexxx · 23/02/2019 22:30

Will definitely find this book . Do you think they will have it at a library?

OP posts:

exwhyzed · 23/02/2019 22:45

Another recommendation for 'oh crap'.

I believe the advice changes slightly though after they are 30 months old.

exwhyzed · 23/02/2019 22:53

Right I have read your post a bit more thoroughly

The basics of 'oh crap' are:

Clear your calendar for a week or so. Don't plan to go anywhere.
You need a potty, not a toilet training seat
No nappies during the day at all. Only for naps and bedtime, and explain why (too long to go without a potty for now)
Bare bottoms all day long until they are confidently going to the potty themselves for wees and poos.
Once they have mastered peeing and pooing on the potty without clothes, put trousers back on but absolutely no knickers/underpants/training pants. Use a puppy training pad for car journeys if needed.
Knickers/underpants only get used once they are actually potty trained.

You need to get the book for better detail on specific circumstances, but it really works

saxatablesalt · 23/02/2019 22:55

Oh crap did not work for us. My DS was not ready. All there was to it really.

Original poster

xxxParisexxx · 24/02/2019 04:41

She is a big girl at 18kg and very tall and finds the potty too small hence the toilet seat x

OP posts:

DinoGreen · 24/02/2019 07:35

I do think you need to persevere before giving up so quickly. The first few days will involve lots of accidents! No pull ups, they’re too confusing. Pants or naked bottom half. On day 1 of potty training my DS, we went through about 7 pairs of pants before he did one on the potty - then massive effusive praise and reward so he wanted to do it again.

Agree with the suggestion of puppy pads for the car seat!

Dimsumlosesum · 24/02/2019 07:40

I went completely cold turkey for a weekend, then wee mats in the car etc. Lots and lots of changes of clothes. The first few days/week or so will usually have a ton of accidents. But you need to persevere.

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