How on earth do you get everything done?

[oneplusone]

I have been feeling so useless recently, I can't seem to get anything done around the house, dinner consists of ready meals, laundry goes for days without being folded and put away etc etc and yet it's not as if I'm spending hours being out with the kids, we're at home a lot of the time.

I just can't seem to cope with eg trying to cook dinner with ds (14 months)clinging to my legs and dd (4yrs)wanting a drink/paper to draw etc and I seem to have just given up. As fast as I can tidy ds especially is messing up again and I just feel like it's all hopeless and I'm useless.

And this is at the moment whilst dd is at kindergarten nearly full time, once she's home for the holidays I just DREAD to think how I'll cope. And I find the lack of 'me' time the hardest to deal with. I have no help nearby such as relatives and have only recently moved to the area and haven't made that many friends yet.

Any tips or advice or encouragement from anyone would be so much appreciated.

you too Gloriamumble - don't be shy!

my housework philosophy is somewhat different to Speedymama (and no DH to delegate to)

pay cleaner to hoover and wash floors and bathrooms once a week - takes about 3 minutes
get big cardboard box from supermarket (or maybe 2 or 3 - 4 minutes
dump everything on floor in box one a day - 6 minutes
shut utility room door so I can;t see piles of ironing - 30 seconds everyday.

Sorted.

read whole thread-thanks everyone for being so honest.I'm another Walton's type mother NOT!-one child,only work Sun morning and i can't be arsed this week to get up off my fat bum to do anything at all(have felt really ill with a bad/cold/cough/pmt/pulled shoulder-i know... weak excuses)..so spent nearly all week loafing on mumsnet.I'm so sedentary,if i had electrodes all over my head,you could mistake me for Frankenstein in a laboratory(or those films where they twich people's brain).
How to do effective/huge amount of cleaning-borrow my PMT-don't know why my hormones do that.Bad news,my illness has offset the effects this time!!
I too wish i could be like those mummy bunnies in books that have several baby bunnies and they never get cross and tuck them up with warm milk and like you say,house looks clean,warm and inviting,roaring fire e.t.c...and other similar books with similar superhero mummys....then i shut the book and drag myself back to reality.
My grandma(with 5 kids) always said the housework would be there when the children weren't!!..i've lived by that,spent as much time with DD as possible,never regretted it!-many happy memories-can't make memories from housework.
Watch these morbid programs too,where they interview a person near the end of their life and they say the things they wish they'd done different...definately didn't say..oh i should have kept my house cleaner.
Another saying iv'e heard...tidying away while the kids are growing,is like shovelling snow,while it's still snowing!-how true.
Unecessary clutter,seems to keep me ball and chained to my house-once read 'freedom from clutter,by Don Aslett'-as well as a good laugh,it rang many bells.Well,when i feel better,the bin/charity bags are coming out again-minimalism is the way to go!!-the path of misery is collecting,hoarding,arranging,sorting,maintaining,cleaning,insuring,keeping things others give you out of guilt...argggggghhhh.
One child seems to equal more toys from familt e.t.c.,and sometimes ones bought out of guilt to keep them occupied(no sibs to do this!)..i'm going to free up my house and time,my DD ignores toys mostly,just wants fun with me and friends and made up games!!(or the same one a 100 times over!!!).
On tidying-only iron DH's shirts,my pants occasionally,nothing else.
Big mess-start one one small corner and think ONE room only(or even just a chair piled up with shite/table).Sometimes gives me inspiration to carry on.
Ill/tired days-washing up/rubbish out/simple meal ONLY-no cleaning.
Feel for you,i have bad hand ezcema,hayfever and dust mite allergy,making cleaning even more hard work-but with allergies,i SHOULD be like flylady-true friends will accept you for you,including your ezcema and any untidyness.
your'e not alone.
i thought i was depressed lately,like a zombie,no enthusiasm for nothing..then suddenly i got the inspiration to do some home made-video editing..was a bit of a tough challenge,so woke my brain up and the joy when i figured it out!-such pleasure because it was finally something for ME and so different to mothering-makes ALL the world of difference to get away from the rut with a hobby,even only for an hour
take care.Preserve your sanity if you can!

And remember this stage doesn't last forever! I remember being exactly as the op describes for years, but once your kids get older and stop having tons and tons of tiny bits of plastic everywhere, it gets much much easier.

Hang in there and if you can just keep your living room clean and tidy (we had an adults only living room in those days, kids had a playroom), you can shut the door on the other stuff and relax.

Mind you, my ironing room is so full I can hardly open the door to chuck another basket full in.

I don't understand how so many people can get away with not doing ironing (my most hated chore). What do they do about school and work shirts, trousers, etc??? I have a tumble dryer but everything still comes out all crumpled.

What's the secret??

i hang things up when they are damp- i rarely iron

i have a sad life,that's why i don't iron-don't go anywhere,don't meet up with anyone,don't need work clothes,hide in my house in same scruffy/comfy clothes.
have a lot of acrylic/polyester clothes that never crumple much.
flatten out t-shirts/other cotton things on radiator to dry-don't crumple!
iron uniform sometimes,if been in washer or laundry heap for too long.
DH same,no social life so no clothes for that!
no drier-everything outside or radiators,careful how i hang them up!

conclusion-sad family,but minimal pesky ironing

Thanks for all your help and tips, I think the real problem is that I'm just bored with being at home and all that entails and not using my brain at all. Everthing you've all said about blitzing the place is true and there are days when I feel I'm on top of things and everything seems to run like clockwork but there are other days or even weeks when I just feel so bored and lonely I guess. I've made a few friends around here but it is very very hard to get beyond the superficial stage and I kind of fall back on friends I've had for the past 20 years or so but none of them have children or even regular partners so they don't understand my dilemas and I don't see them all that often and they work full time and don't live locally.

I could go back to work part time but I kind of saw having children as a chance to leave my previous career behind as I didn't really enjoy it and I thought whilst I was at home I would have an amazing business idea like all these other mums you read about but it just hasn't happened, in fact I think my brain has died and I'm surprised I manage to get anything done at all.

I would love to meet any of you that are nearby, I guess the other problem with being new to the area is that I have no idea where anything is and I really hate trying to find my way around with the 2 kids in the back of the car. But I am slowly finding my way around so am definately up for meeting especially with the summer holidays coming up.

mumblechum, is your tumble dryer big, and does it have a cool air cycle at the end - that is very important to keep clothes wrinkle-less. I try and hang things up (ie t-shirts, school uniform) as soon as they are finished in the dryer

Poor you.

I work full time, my dh is a messy bugger and our house would look like a shithole if I didn't have a cleaner once a week.

I would keep the cleaner even if didn't work because it's not that much money and it's totally worth it.

I would also offer the following suggestions

1. Eat lots of salads - they're healthy and don't require cooking
2. Live in the park - we do at weekends and when I'm off work
3. Never iron (except for weddings, funerals, court appearances)
4. Buy some of those massive plastic boxes and throw all the kids toys in them. Limit the toys to favourite ones - our living room resembles the set of thomas the bloody tank engine
5. Buy lots of cheap kids clothes from charity shops/beg them off friends with older kids. Then you don't have to worry about washing.
6. Remember dirt is good for kids
7. Cleaning products are bad for the environment so you're saving the planet by not cleaning!
8. Being a Stepford Wife is NOT somethign to aspire to.

Purple Duck, no to both of those questions, and I do tend to cram it full to bursting - that's probably where I'm going wrong.

LOL mslucy .I'm not a stepford wife,more like a Henry the 8th wife-mainly Anne Bolyen...feel like my head is about to roll off,it's so lifeless too..
Why was she beheaded anyway...did she not do the housework like she should have?!
(not a clue about history sorry!)
wish my great-grandparents were here on mumsnet today to say how they managed without driers/dishwashers,15 kids etc,DH's who didn't believe in helping.
1+1 i could do at home one-to-one teaching if i wanted now, hours to suit,good money,but just the thought of advertising for pupils scares me now,let alone the stress of teaching-think my patience has died too.Used to like it too.Know how you feel! [hugs](been a SAHM for 5 years+ half of pregnancy.