Views on cosleeping

[PSL1990]

I'm interested to know what people think about cosleeping with a baby I.e. having the baby in your bed. Are you for or against and why?

Loved. It. Without it I would have got minimal sleep and my mental health would have been rock bottom. Kid went straight into her own bed (double mattress on the floor) at 10 months and has stayed there, happily. No issue with ‘creating a rod for my own back’ or ‘you’ll never get her out of your bed’. Plan to co-sleep again with my second till 10mths again and do the same....

There’s lots of threads on this with strong opinions on either side. Did it for most of 18m with my first, as I believed it was natural, all mammals do it and many cultures around the world. I wanted my baby to feel secure and that I would readily respond to her needs.

Now 4 months in with number two, she really seems to like her cot, when DD1 hated it. I bring her into bed the odd time if she’s unsettled but I like being able to move more freely in bed and it just feels right to help her learn to sleep more independently. It’s a bit chicken and egg, hard to know how each choice is driven by my views evolving as a parent and by the personality of the kid.

The naysayers will say otherwise, but I was always aware of baby in my bed, it’s like Bluetooth. There is very little risk of a baby getting smothered IMO if you follow the safe sleep 7.

I’m for it if it’s the right thing for your family and you do it safely. I never intended to bedshare but ended up doing so for about 4 months (that was a brutal sleep regression!). Personally I didn’t particularly enjoy it as I had to sleep in the same position all night and found it very uncomfortable, but at least we got some sleep!

Do it. It’s lush. It’s one of the bits you’ll love back on and miss desperately.

Started doing it at 6/7 months when my daughters sleep went from bad to worse. My daughter turns 9 months this weekend.. She's still waking a few times a night and wakes whenever I try to put her back into her cot (which I've been trying to do again lately).

I'm kinda in two minds about it. On one hand it's nice to have more space in the bed and sometimes uncomfortable... but on the other hand it's lovely and there will be a day when I miss it very much! Hoping to move her into her own room and bed by 1 year when we've moved to our new house!

I always start the night with DS in his cot but if he wakes and won't settle then I bring him into bed and he sleeps on top of me. I've never felt comfortable having him sleep next to me in case he falls off or DH crushes him

As PP said, it takes bloody ages to get used to. I used to wake up all the time worrying about crushing them and what not but then we got a king bed and shoved it next to a single and after two years, it’s second nature.

I partial co sleep this started due to my little one having colic and he's sleep no where but my chest we figures this our after 10 hours of screaming non stop. I like co sleep I enjoyed all the cuddles and feel it gives me a closer bond to me son. I kind of hate it sometimes as my son likes to sprawl lengthwise across the bed taking up a whole double bed. So we now try and get him on his cot as much as possible. He started the night in the cot and sometimes stays Thier all night

Did it. Loved it. Got annoying being used as a human dummy at 2 but no regrets. So warm and lovely. Not sure great for relationships. Or sleep. But still no regrets.

I was against. First baby was very much for. Ended up doing it because alternative was falling asleep accidentally while sitting up holding/feeding the baby, much more dangerous. I sort of learned to like it in the end.

I like the idea but could never do it. I've always been a light sleeper and I need my sleep. If it works for you go for it. If not, don't feel bad about it.

My DS will not sleep unless he’s touching a parent. I started cosleeping because I was falling asleep holding him and that was more dangerous. But by about 9m he took up too much space and was more mobile so risked falling out. At that point he moved to a mattress on the floor and I sleep on it with him. I’ve tried repeatedly to put him in his own bed without success.

At nearly 1yo we still cosleep with no end in sight. I’ve suffered terrible pain in my back, neck and shoulders from having to restrict my sleeping position. And I’m utterly exhausted from waking every hour or two. I want to go back in my own bed with DH but I’m not allowed. Sex is non existent.

It works really well for us. DS was a Velcro baby who would only sleep on someone. Then as he got older that got better but he has never slept through yet at 19 months. So it's easier for us than getting up 2-3 times a night to a cot, especially as I went back to work when he was 4 months. He'd wake up properly and get really distressed, whereas if he was in with us he would just whinge and then I could roll over and pop a nipple in his mouth. He doesn't breastfeed any more (stopped at 1) but is still easy to settle back down with a cuddle and a dummy or a bottle. We like having him there, it doesn't affect our sex life to be honest, any more than having a young child normally does (we just go in the spare room, then come back into our bed to sleep). Now he can climb out of the cot anyway. We are planning on doing his room soon (just moved house, had cancer, not got round to it) and getting him a proper bed, so it won't be forever. For now I like my cuddles and morning "hi" in my face, he is so sweet. These years go fast enough anyway!

Too scared to do it with DS1 and we had a sleeping nightmare until he was 8 months and I relented, and slept with him. Solved everything. Co-slept with DS2 from the beginning and got so much more sleep that time around. They are 13 and 9 now and have both been in their own beds for a long time and never, ever wake up though DS2 comes in sometimes in the mornings for a cuddle, thank goodness

My back hates it but it gives me more sleep than I'd otherwise get on bad night... ambivalent

I was terrified but baby refused to sleep in crib so I had to co-sleep or I would have become seriously ill from sleep deprivation.

There have been studies showing that breastfeeding mothers and babies have a natural connection even when sleeping which I found reassuring. When nursing in the side lying position your body forms a “C“ around the baby so it‘s virtually impossible to roll on top. However the idea of her accidentally suffocating on my pyjamas or blanket is still too scary so I only nap like this during the day or out of complete desperation during the night.

My current solution is to let her sleep in the Sleepyhead on the bed next to me and it works fantastically. I place a pillow next to it and can give her a tummy massage or whisper to her while we’re both falling asleep. I know the Sleepyhead is not recommended for overnight use but out of all options, this the sanest for everyone involved. She’s 8 weeks and sleeps 2x 3-4 hours which turned me from a zombie into a somewhat tired but functional human again.

Without co-sleeping I would still be spending 1.5 hrs in ungodly morning hours trying to put a cranky baby to sleep, who wakes up wailing after 10mins in the crib.

My best friend lost a baby through co-sleeping as did an aunt so not something I could ever consider.

All 5 of mine I co-slept to age 2/3. Loved it

That’s what terrified me too peeblet but I ended up finding myself falling asleep on the sofa or sitting up in bed with the baby in my arms, which felt (and was really) even more dangerous. I don’t think I’d have coslept at all if I’d had a baby that would have slept otherwise, or at least not for the first 6 months or so.

I wanted to do it but DD hated it and still does! She likes her own space for sleeping. In a way I'm glad - I really wanted to do it but actually having that space for just me and my husband was vital for my mental health and when we moved her to her own room she adapted really well.

Ds was a pretty good sleeper until 6/7 months so we didn't need to Co sleep, he slept happily in his moses basket then cot. When his sleep became pretty dire after 6 months he wouldn't sleep in with us, he just seemed even more unsettled with us. With dd she would settle okay in her cot but re settling her after a feed was very hard so we co slept for some of the night until around 8/9 months or so when she slept through.
I suppose I'm neither for or against it. I believe that the safest place for a baby to sleep is in their own cot, not too much bedding, not too warm, feet at the bottom, well ventilated room, same room as their parents, on their back in a smoke free house. I imagine that only a few people co sleep purely as a lifestyle choice (I could be wrong), I think it's more commonly a response to a baby that won't sleep anywhere else.

Safe sleeping is definitely a valid concern. I was cluster feeding for up to six hours solidly so there was just no other way. It was sleep or lose my mind.

I love it. We did not start to do until 6 months. This time round I will do it pretty much from the beginning depending on c- section etc. There is a lot of misinformation and scare mongering out there but the problem is unsafe cosleeping not cosleeping itself.

Each to their own. I would never do it but have no opinions either way for people who do.

FTM so I planned to follow advice and stick baby in Moses basket. A breastfeeding peer support bod cane round and suggested I ignored advice and loads of b feeding mums have baby in bed. I persevered but it was just in and out the Moses basket all the time and changing him etc. He had all of my boyfriends side of bed and he slept on sofa- he then went in big cot about 3 months and boyfriend returned. We did fall asleep many times together though when I took him out to b feed in the night. I know they say mums have squashed baby’s but it was right for me and my baby and In reality it’s not practical to follow advice