Is this Year 6 teacher out of order?

[hartof]

My 11 year old has come out of school really holding back the tears today. I could see in her face how upset she was, as soon as she got in the car she burst out sobbing - actual sobbing and shaking.

She said her class had been doing work from the board, she couldn't quite see the board and so did the work wrong. She tried to explain to the teacher what happened and he said "Don't speak to Me" and then asked her why her face was so red.

Now, as her mum I am fuming her would make her feel this way. I felt like marching back in the school and asking why he's speaking to her like this. But I kept my calm, came home and thought I'd gather opinions on whether this is acceptable?

Her vision has always been fine, past couple of months she has said it's not as good so we've made an eye test (was fine at the last routine appointment) first one was cancelled and next one is in February. I haven't mentioned it to her teacher as to be honest I didn't think to, today is the first day she's told me she couldn't see the board. She's a really good kid, never misbehaves, polite, does her work as asked. I just don't understand why he wouldn't let her explain.

I've only met him once as we're yet to have a second parents evening. But at the first one I was quite surprised by him, he's very young, wouldn't make eye contact, spoke to my daughter instead of me about her progression. I just feel like something is off but that could just be me.

Sorry for the essay but do I escalate this further or wait and see how she goes?

Id find an optician who can see her sooner

in my experience when a teacher says that they are in the middle of something, and the child has interrupted. Is that a possibility? Perhaps she was so stressed that she missed some cues from him?

It is not unusual for an upper school teacher to address the child. It is part of helping them feel responsible for their own learning, and preparing them for secondary, when it will become the norm.

You need to get her an appointment at the optician sooner.

Id also ask the teacher if she could sit nearer the board

“spoke to my daughter instead of me about her progression.”

This is quite usual. As for the rest, it sounds a bit odd- but i’m not really sure why she was so upset. I would go in tomorrow and explain about her eyesight then get her eyes tested ASAP.. Places like Specsavers often don’t need an appointment, by the way.

You will not love secondary school. Unfortunately you will get all sorts and she needs to learn to advocate for herself. Maybe suggest that she tries to talk to the teacher at a good time point and explain that she is finding it hard to see the screen. I too would try to see the optician sooner.

Specsavers is the opticians we're with this is the earliest the could do. I've requested An appointment at Tesco opticians I still haven't heard back.

She's upset because she isn't used to be shouted at, and she is quite sensitive.

You could try and escalate it, but it might well be that the activity had been explained and it was a quiet, independent task. Perhaps you could let the teacher know that you are eventually going to get round to sorting out your child’s vision problem, and until you do, could she sit closer to the board. Is she a bit insecure in school? Seems a massive overreaction for a Y6 with no additional issues.

So now he shouted at her?

You could speak with him to clarify what was said and how. Is it possible that your DD is more upset because she couldn't see as much as being told off?

Either way you need to inform the school that she is having difficulty see the board and that you have arranged an eye test, that way they are aware that she may need more time/help until her eyes have been tested.

Teachers do sometimes shout. Sometimes because the kids have done something wrong sometimes because they are humans and make mistakes. Check nothing else happened, but otherwise work on fixing what practically can be changed (seating, eye test) and building resilience /confidence levels (do stuff that she finds challenging, identify and praise success, encourage second tries, work small and go big, things like ho ape are good for this because they feel challenging but are designed to be accessible)

I don't see how he shouted at her you said yourself he said 'don't talk to me.' I presume he was in the middle of something and pretty frustrated that at 11 years old his student couldn't engage her brain and ask him to move as she couldn't see the board.

She is going to find secondary quite a struggle if she cannot speak out when needed. If she had told him she couldn't see this would all have been avoided.

I am however surprised you also didn't let him know she was having difficulty with her eyesight. If you didn't say anything and neither did she how is he supposed to know she is unable to do the task as she cannot see?

fuming at the teacher yet you didn’t mention that she may have a problem with her eyesight.
Very similar to the thread about the parent feeling let down because the TA didn’t wash out her child’s water bottle. Maybe these are the scenarios responsible for a crisis in teacher recruitment.

You really should have told the teacher that she’s having problems with her vision if you knew she wouldn’t say anything herself.

So you’ve known for a couple of months there could be an issue with her vision but you’ve neither got her to an optician or mentioned it to the school?
Why didn’t DD explain to the teacher she was struggling to see the board?
Yep. Secondary is going to be hard!

I've already explained it didn't cross my mind to advise the school. She told me about her vision over the Xmas break and when the term started again it had gone to the back of my mind (yes I am a terrible mother we've already established this). It's not a case of "getting round to making an appointment" it's made and there are no earlier appointments.

She was supposed to write the work in paragraphs the teacher hadn't actually explained this to her and she couldn't see the board. Her teacher makes the children speak to each other rather than ask him so she couldn't ask him what she should be doing. Her friends are too scared to speak because then they'll be told off. Do you see why it's difficult for her to bring these things up?

When he came over to to check her work he told her she hadn't done it right. She tried to explain she couldn't see the board he said "don't speak to me" and walked away. I do think the way he has spoken to her is rude and unnecessary. And then to point out in her whole class that her face is red - because she was embarrassed and frustrated. When a teacher has just flipped on you when he's been fine all year I don't blame an 11 year old for being confused and upset. His words are something I imagine a fellow class mate would say not her twenty something teacher.

@Mayra1367 This is nothing like that thread. I'm not expecting a teacher to wash up after my child. I'm wondering if maybe he should've chosen his words more carefully and questioned why a pupil who always does very well had misunderstood the aim of the activity.

Her teacher makes the children speak to each other rather than ask him so she couldn't ask him what she should be doing.

It's pretty common to tell children to ask a friend for help first if they are stuck or don't understand something. However this doesn't prevent your daughter putting up her hand and asking for help if she needs it.

Her friends are too scared to speak because then they'll be told off.

Why would they be told off for talking if they are being encouraged to talk to each other? I don't understand. I've never known a class of yr6 pupils be totally silent and never allowed to talk. He obviously talk to the children as shown at parents evening so why would she be afraid to talk to him and say she couldn't see?

If he did not explain it then surely all the children did the work incorrectly?

@Jackshouse other children could see the board?

As a retired teacher and teacher-trainer, I think the teacher was not as professional as he should have been - had this happened in a teaching observation, it would have been picked up as a "development point" (euphemism for "mistake"!). Y7s can take a while to gain confidence and if your DD is generally well-behaved and cooperative, then the teacher should have listened to her. BUT - we all have off days. I would speak to or send a short note to her form tutor, without reference to this particular incident, saying that your DD seems to be having some distance vision problems, that you're waiting for an optician's appointment and asking that the teachers make allowance, for example by ensuring that she can see the board, or by giving clear instructions or handouts that she can read (which would be good practice anyway).

Well if the other children could see the board and the policy is to ask friends to explain before you ask the teacher then there was no reason for her to do it wrong?

This seems like a completely non-issue to me.

And I would gently remind your DD that it's important to listen carefully to the teacher's instructions - she wouldn't be the first student to have a lapse in attention/concentration....

I guess if she’s never raised not being able to see the board before, coming out with suddenly not being able to see it would sound like an excuse to be honest!

Hi OP. I don't know why so many posters are missing what I think is the main point of where the teacher crossed the line. Saying 'don't speak to me' is quite rude but it could have been that he was busy or distracted so that wouldn't bother me. He then went on to point out that her face was red. I think we can all remember a humiliating time when we knew very well that we were red and some smart arse points it out. It makes it so so much worse, it's a horrid thing to do to someone! Why embaress her further? Very very unprofessional and cruel and I would not be happy.
I hope your dd is feeling better.

then asked her why her face was so red

Do people really defend this as a normal or pleasant part of human interaction or as a called-for part of discipline?

I struggle to imagine any context, involving people of any age, where that is either required for any reason whatsoever or not downright unpleasant.

Yes to telling the child off if she is interrupting or rude in anyway. But why embarrass her about something that she has no control over and cannot be construed over as either rude or disruptive????