Aibu to let my son do 'girly' things?

[SausageSimon]

I think I already know the answer to this one but I just feel I need to talk to someone about this.

My son is 5 and he's started taking an interest in his appearance etc. I sometimes find him sat at my dressing table putting on make up, at my mums he puts her perfume on and today he asked to wear one of my bracelets.

To my parents and my brother, this is completely wrong and he'll end up gay they tell him it isn't for boys, only for girls. Even the perfume which is daft as aftershave is the same under a different name.

I really don't believe it'll have an effect on him, it's just play. He sees me put on make up and he wants to do the same. And if it turns out I do accidentally turn him gay (ha!) I couldn't care less. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest!

It makes me sad how horrified the people in my life react to things like this. When he asked to wear one of my bracelets earlier I explained to him that some people believe some things are for boys and some are for girls. I told him I don't believe that and asked him what he thought, he said he wanted to wear it anyway and he would tell them they are wrong if they comment.

Interested to hear what others thoughts and experiences of this sort of thing are?

I feel like my family are making a mountain out of a mole hill!

Nope I wouldn’t make him ashamed of things he likes to do

You absolutely have the right view point! Let him do what he likes whilst he's still happy to

This handy guide may help

Your family are being nuts! No one cares now days and it certainly doesn't mean someone is gay or trans just because they like something associated with the opposite sex.
My 4yo loves glitter and hair curlers. He loves wandering about with my curlers in for some reason. I just let him do what he wants, why not? He painted my husbands nails with glitter once and my husband went outside like that and didnt give a shit lol!! And my husband is a mans man but in no way would he ever tell our son that he couldn't like something because it was for girls!

I have four dds and one ds, and none of them are allowed to touch my make up or jewelry, their sex doesn't come into it! Having said that i think the people in your life are being daft, I am pretty sure that wearing bracelets can't make you gay.

Yanbu

My DD paints little DS2's nails. He also plays with dolls. He also loves cars. He just loves life and playing.

My family (who we no longer see) would call him a pansy and say that he'll 'turn gay'.

If only they realised it's their reactions that causes the confusion and issues. Not what the child does or doesn't do.

I like the way you're handling it OP, you explained what people might say, reassured him that's not what you think, then asked him. That's a great way to prepare him for dealing with any idiots while feeling accepted.

YANBU of course but wanted to comment on how well you handled the discussion.

Agree with you and pretty much everyone here - let him get on with it.

Both my DSs loved a frock and clip-clop shoes at that age. I wouldn’t give two shits if either were gay.
Those people telling you it’s wrong are daft twats.

@UnWilly

🙋‍♀️

DS is like this. He's a BOY, very typically boy. But will dress up in princess clothes, tights, crown, witch hat, whatever.. Mostly because he hadn't been told that these are girl things.

He also colours his nails with pens, and his hair too

When my son was three we bought him a kitchen.

Some idiots said that because of that he would turn out gay.

He is now a 25-year-old gay man.

Totally the fault of these ELC kitchen, clearly

My son is on his second kitchen. Long running thing since he was 2yo. Loves pretending to make food.

Must train him in the actual kitchen as soon as he is tall enough

Embrace embrace embrace! Children are beautiful souls and adults can really mess that up for them. Let him live and love how he wants to - you're right to follow your heart

Thank you for all of your responses! I think being around people with such negative responses to it makes me start doubting myself.

I live up North in a very white mining community type area. Younger people don't seem to have a problem but it seems we're Years behind the rest of the country as there's still plenty of middle aged and older people who haven't caught on yet. Mindless racist comments from otherwise very nice people, it's baffling at times. It feels like there's a script about gay people and black people that everyone repeats without any real feeling behind it, iyswim? Like they're reciting what they heard growing up

My family love my friend who is gay, so I've found that whenever they comment on my son ending up gay I just say "well next time Dfriend is up you can have a chat with him about it" then I think they realise how moronic they're being as they remember these 'gays' are real people

My ds never ever wanted to do anything remotely girly and he is gay!!
People have odd ideas op!!

They do @Aprilshowersarecomingsoon
I honestly couldn't care less if he's gay! It made me laugh when he had a baby doll and a pushchair for it, and of course got the gay comment but how pretending to be a dad equals gay I will never understand

Oh yes, apart from the toy kitchen my son had no stereotypical gay traits at all.

All of my ds's (8) have had a doll +buggy. Hopefully they will be a better df for it!! Only 1 is gay, 1 is a df and perfectly suited to the role imo. One is a chef after sharing dd's toy kitchen!!

They do @Aprilshowersarecomingsoon
I honestly couldn't care less if he's gay! It made me laugh when he had a baby doll and a pushchair for it, and of course got the gay comment but how pretending to be a dad equals gay I will never understand

Sorry posted twice! stupid phone.

When my son was three we bought him a kitchen

Some idiots said that because of that he would turn out gay

He is now a 25-year-old gay man

Totally the fault of these ELC kitchen, clearly

I apparently turned my DS gay, when I allowed him to play a female role, in a school play when he was 5 years old

I was told by my SIL that my son would be gay because he held hands with his male best friend when he was 2. He is gay! it's true! So definitely don't let your son hold hands with any male.

Although my friends son didn't catch the gay, it must have all gone to my son!

Also my BIL's friend stood with his hands on his hips and suddenly turned gay, so you mustn't let your child stand like that either.

I'm glad they are all ex-IL's now! Bonkers!

My friend who is really quite bright was convinced that a family member became gay due to being allowed to play dress up in princess clothes. By this standard I should be gay too as we were poor growing up and was dressed in my brothers hand me downs and played with his evil knievel and action man