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Is my baby a spoon refuser or just not ready for solids (or am I just a bit incompetent?!)

36 replies

Findingthingstough18 · 05/01/2019 10:02

DS is just turned 6 months. At 24 weeks I started trying to give him some puree, and couldn't get the spoon anywhere near his mouth - he uses both hands to push it away and doesn't open his mouth. I tried giving him two spoons of his own to hold and he drops them instantly when he sees my spoon coming. I figured that meant he wasn't ready and tried again the following week, with same result - except I noticed that the bit he got on his face he licked off, and he was also sticking his puree-y (I let him stick his hands in the bowl) hands in his mouth. I also gave him a steamed carrot stick, which he put straight in his mouth then took straight out.

Tried again a couple of days ago (with fruit puree, in case he just hated carrot), same deal. Then yesterday DH gave him one of those Ella's kitchen carrot puff things, and he ate two of them and I think would have had more if we'd given them to him. This morning we tried him on baked apple slices and it was a bit of a disaster, but I think that was my fault - he was trying hard to get them to his mouth but they were so soft that they just fell apart. I also tried to give him some yoghurt and again he wanted none of me feeding him, but would happily put a yoghurt covered spoon in his own mouth.

Is he not ready for solids, and I should give it another rest and try again? Or is it the spoon, and do we just have to do BLW, even though it's not what I wanted to do? No one else I know has had this problem (and looked at me like I had two heads when I asked if they had!) and all the online advice I can find is about older babies suddenly stopping to eat from a spoon, not about babies who won't do it from the off! Am I doing it wrong?!

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Polly99 · 05/01/2019 10:07

Sounds to me like he just wants to do it himself. I’d just let him use his own spoon and eat with his hands. I don’t think this is really uncommon, one of mine only really tolerated spoon feeding when she was tired.

NCforthisthread19 · 05/01/2019 10:10

My DD refused spoon feeding pretty much straight away- just did BLW. Sounds like your DC is ready for solids

Orlande · 05/01/2019 10:13

He does need solids now at six months. If he doesn't want a spoon just give him finger foods or let him suck from a pouch.

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Findingthingstough18 · 05/01/2019 10:19

He does need solids now at six months

Yes, this is why I didn't want to do BLW - I read quite a lot about risks of them not taking enough, anaemia, etc. I wonder if he'd suck on a pouch - haven't tried that. Do you think I should give finger foods then persist with trying to feed with the spoon sometimes, or just give up on feeding him myself? I don't think he's going to get much eating himself, but I also don't want to put him off the whole business by repeatedly doing something he's showing me as hard as he can that he doesn't like!

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Findingthingstough18 · 05/01/2019 10:20

Glad to hear that there are other spoon refusers - when I asked at baby group I got a load of puzzled 'you just put it in when they open their mouths?', including from someone who weaned at four months and said that they all know how to do it by then!

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CountessVonBoobs · 05/01/2019 10:22

Neither of mine have ever been interested in being spoonfed. Just hand him the spoon and let him do it himself, and do finger foods.

masterstef · 05/01/2019 10:25

My second was like this. For my first, I did a mixture of spoon feeding and finger food. dc2 wouldn't be spoon fed at all but wasn't quite able to eat many finger foods.

If I gave him the spoon the food just got flung off. I was worried about getting food into him as he was fairly low weight. My solution was to put puree on pitta strips, rice cakes (normal unsalted ones you can break into chunks), cucumber sticks etc while he learned the mechanics of eating.

He still doesn't really like purees although does eat hoummous, cream cheese, avo, smooth peanut butter etc. He mainly went straight on to 'normal' food as soon as he could!

Joinourclub · 05/01/2019 10:26

My first pretty much bit my hand off when I first started spoon feeding him, my second would lick food she was holding but not much more. At six months it’s all about experiencing new tastes, they are still getting their nutrients from milk so don’t worry too much about how much your dc is eating yet. Carry on as you are, with a mixture of BL and purées, you’re doing nothing wrong.

masterstef · 05/01/2019 10:27

Oh if I handed him the spoon he'd always turn it round and chew the handle so the food fell off. 'just give him the spoon' didn't help at all whereas if the 'spoon' was bread then chewing it didn't matter!

Orlande · 05/01/2019 10:28

It could well be easier to wean earlier, but if you have a spoon refuser then you don't want to make eating stressful.

I'd focus on giving nutritious finger foods - scrambled/boiled eggs, brocoli florets, meatballs etc rather than lots of fruit and grains.

coconutwheel · 05/01/2019 10:30

I think by 6 mo they are a bit old to accept having it shovelled in with a spoon. Just let him feed himself and try a loaded spoon in a month or so again. He may find it more appealing with yoghurt or similar!

masterstef · 05/01/2019 10:31

There's a big deal made about blw vs spoon feeding. The reality is they often blur in practice - it's just giving your child some food, easy to overthink sometimes!

It can take a while for them to get used to putting it in their mouth and chewing/mushing/sucking and swallowing. This is all part and parcel of weaning. And they sometimes won't feel like it! As long as you're giving them lots of opportunities to eat and a variety of foods, you'll be fine.

MissMarplesKnitting · 05/01/2019 10:34

My youngest was a spoon refuser. Total shoch as others weren't!!

She has a massive independent streak, and so baby led weaning was what we did. Scared me half to death but she got stuck right in and was chomping omelette, pasta twists etc at 7 months happily.

Findingthingstough18 · 05/01/2019 10:35

There's a big deal made about blw vs spoon feeding. The reality is they often blur in practice - it's just giving your child some food, easy to overthink sometimes!

But that's exactly what I wanted to do - a mix of both, not worrying about following an exact plan - and what DS seems to be rejecting! What I'm worried about is giving him some fun playtimes (which is great) but not really any food...

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GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 05/01/2019 10:35

Yep, my eldest flatly refused to be spoonfed and we had to do BLW instead - she also refused purées.

She's almost 7 now and a good, non-fussy eater.

Findingthingstough18 · 05/01/2019 10:37

Can I just ask about another paranoia I have, too? Lots of people told me 'you open your mouth so they open theirs then you put it in'. DS doesn't imitate like that, ever. He smiles when we smile (and now when he sees me), but he doesn't stick his tongue out or open his mouth wide if we do. Is that normal?

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Sparrowlegs248 · 05/01/2019 10:37

Sounds ready but wants to do it himself. One of mine was the same. Baby led weaning !

Findingthingstough18 · 05/01/2019 10:39

Oh if I handed him the spoon he'd always turn it round and chew the handle so the food fell off.

Yeah, I think I might have accidentally exaggerated how adept he was with the spoon... He wasn't necessarily putting the right end in, it's just that the whole spoon (and everything else!) ended up covered in yoghurt so he couldn't chew on it without putting a tiny bit of yoghurt in his mouth!

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MissMarplesKnitting · 05/01/2019 10:39

Yup.

Get some soft foods, or a yoghurt and let him go for it. Banana, chopped omelette, cooked carrot etc.

Honestly, I was terrified as my older ones were like little birds waiting for the spoon. The youngest has always turned everything I thought I knew about kids right on its head.

She's 5 and a brilliantly unfussy eater. Unlike the others.....

BeautifulPossibilities · 05/01/2019 10:39

Just let him feed himself. They don't need purées, it's just extra work for you.

masterstef · 05/01/2019 10:39

Just persevere, you don't need to stop and 'give it a rest' every time he doesn't fancy what you've given him, and definitely not for entire weeks... Offer little and often... It's hard I know but it's a steep learning curve for them so practice is what they need! Good luck and do try purees/ dips on toast, crumpets, rice cake etc

CountessVonBoobs · 05/01/2019 10:40

Neither of mine have been interested in imitating me at all, findingthingstough. Both are developing completely normally and my 4yo is very bright. My 10 month old won't open his mouth when I do or try and copy my noises. He's just strong willed - hence also why he and his brother insisted on self feeding from day 1. Some babies are!

MissMarplesKnitting · 05/01/2019 10:41

Oh, and there will be spoons and food everywhere. They shove spoons in the wrong way, eat yoghurt with their hands etc etc.

Just chill and let them explore the food.

However, if you give milk and Weetabix, just be aware it's like superglue.

masterstef · 05/01/2019 10:41

No mine doesn't imitate either. That's quite young to be able to understand what other people are doing and how to do the same yourself... Let alone actually wanting to do it!

yellowishgiraffe · 05/01/2019 10:42

My DS has always hated being spoon fed, we've recently discovered that he's actually tongue tied and finds the spoon difficult to eat off of. Not saying it's the same for yours but could be something to consider.

The way we've gotten around it is:

  1. Let him feed himself. We started with very soft boiled veg, or soft fruits like bananas, raspberries etc.
  2. Load up a spoon with purée and place it on his tray in front of him. At first he will spill most of it as he tries to get it in his mouth but he'll get there eventually.
  3. Allow him to suck directly from a pouch. Although my son is fussy and will only do this with yoghurt pouches. Don't do this exclusively as it's important baby leans to chew and not just suck.

Try not to panic about how much he is eating, at 6 month most of their nutrients come from their formula or breast milk. At the moment it's just about exploring textures and learning how to safely chew and swallow,

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