Is my baby a spoon refuser or just not ready for solids (or am I just a bit incompetent?!)

[Findingthingstough18]

DS is just turned 6 months. At 24 weeks I started trying to give him some puree, and couldn't get the spoon anywhere near his mouth - he uses both hands to push it away and doesn't open his mouth. I tried giving him two spoons of his own to hold and he drops them instantly when he sees my spoon coming. I figured that meant he wasn't ready and tried again the following week, with same result - except I noticed that the bit he got on his face he licked off, and he was also sticking his puree-y (I let him stick his hands in the bowl) hands in his mouth. I also gave him a steamed carrot stick, which he put straight in his mouth then took straight out.

Tried again a couple of days ago (with fruit puree, in case he just hated carrot), same deal. Then yesterday DH gave him one of those Ella's kitchen carrot puff things, and he ate two of them and I think would have had more if we'd given them to him. This morning we tried him on baked apple slices and it was a bit of a disaster, but I think that was my fault - he was trying hard to get them to his mouth but they were so soft that they just fell apart. I also tried to give him some yoghurt and again he wanted none of me feeding him, but would happily put a yoghurt covered spoon in his own mouth.

Is he not ready for solids, and I should give it another rest and try again? Or is it the spoon, and do we just have to do BLW, even though it's not what I wanted to do? No one else I know has had this problem (and looked at me like I had two heads when I asked if they had!) and all the online advice I can find is about older babies suddenly stopping to eat from a spoon, not about babies who won't do it from the off! Am I doing it wrong?!

Just persevere, you don't need to stop and 'give it a rest' every time he doesn't fancy what you've given him, and definitely not for entire weeks...

The thing is it's not the food he doesn't seem to fancy or not - it's hard for him to know that when he won't let it near his mouth! - it's the method. I can't see how to get a spoon near his mouth without tricking him or holding down his arms, which I know not to do, so I don't see how to practice?

Sorry, I think I'm being difficult and I don't mean to be - I'm just confused about what to do! Abandon spoon entirely or keep trying it? I think it's clear that I should offer finger foods either way. Thank you for all the advice!

If he's interested in putting the spoon in his own mouth, I don't really see any need or point in trying to "teach" him to be spoonfed? The more he practises feeding himself the better he will get. Yes, at first he will drop the spoon, chew the wrong end etc but the more tries he makes the more he will be able to do it accurately. You have months before you would need to worry about having an iron source other than milk, and if you're really anxious in the meantime you can give vitamin drops.

Do some spoon foods. Like thick soup or weetabix.

Take a chunk, put the spoon either on the tray or in his hand and let him do it himself.

Offer chunks of other food - meat, veg, fruit, bread, etc he can pick up from his tray. It will take a couple of weeks to get going. Easy just to offer stuff from your plate as long as it's not salty or super spicy.

My second was like this. Forget the spoon.

My solution was to give finger foods and suitable bits that we ate. If you feel that you need a gap before going down the spoon route then continue with finger foods and maybe in a week offer Greek yogurt alongside finger food but I wouldn't try and feed him, I would let him try.

Also try and remember that milk is his main source of nutrition until he is 1. So while he needs to be eating, try not to put pressure on yourself. Honestly. I started weaning my second at 6 months and she didn't really eat anything until about 7 months. She never had much milk either. She's now 2.5yo and has tracked on 75th percentile since birth - some weeks eating hardly anything. I firmly believe she self regulates. She's still very hit and miss, today for example she's so far had some water and quarter of a tiny bowl of shreddies, but she's bouncing around.

It sounds like your son wants to be in control so let him lead the way.

Milk certainly wasn't either of my children's main source of nutrition before 1! My spoon refuser eats loads now, I'd be amazed if he got much from his milk feeds.

I would just do finger foods for now. If you really want to do spoon feeding, try again in a few weeks once he is enjoying food

My DD also had no interest in being spoon fed at first so we did BLW. She didn’t really start eating “properly” until about 9 or 10 months but kept up with regular milk feeds - it was quite a gradual transition from mostly milk to mostly solids. We used to put things (mostly fromage frais aka baby crack) on a spoon and hand it to her; in the end she actually wanted us to spoon feed her when she realised it was more efficient . I would recommend following your baby’s lead and checking in w the HV if you have concerns - every baby will do things differently.

Are you on Instagram? I would highly recommend following this account: babyledweaningideas

I'm not suggesting you go fully BLW if you don't want to, but she is very knowledgeable and her posts will show you realistically what to expect in the first few months of weaning. She also has a website which is linked to her account full of great info, recipes, tips, etc.

My DS is 8m, we are doing BLW. He has only recently started to swallow any food and some days he doesn't eat any at all. It's completely fine as milk is still his main source of nutrition and he has not dropped any feeds.

Don't forget that babies don't actually know what food is, or that it fills them up. It's just fun, learning and exploring at this age.

Also there is no way my baby opens his mouth if I do. And he won't let me feed him with a spoon either. He will put loaded spoons in his mouth (sometimes the right end!) but I am not convinced it's to eat, rather to chew on the spoon.

Thanks for all the advice, all! Baby and I had a pretty fun time with toast fingers and grated cheese at lunchtime and it was amazing to watch the concentration and determination on his face as he passed toast from one hand to another and gummed away at it! I guess we'll keep going like that and see where we get