MIL gave ring to other DIL and not me

[GingerCookie2018]

Hey I’m wondering if anyone can help.
My MIL has two sons, they both got engaged last year (one to me!)
But the other DIL, she’s the favourite because she’s all cute and petite and quiet and foreign. Anyway, she got a family heir loom ring for engagement from our MIL, and I got nothing. And MIL says ‘you’ll get nothing until I’m dead’ but it wasn’t in a nasty way. Anyway, I’m actually really upset about this. Yes, I got a brand new shiny expensive engagement ring, but she got a meaningful family heir loom. :-(
How do I get over the crushing reality that I’m just not good enough and never will be for my new family? (Both her sons got married this year, which is why she’s MIL now!)

Well actually she has multiple heir looms and he was the younger brother

They are here to give out. Or not.

Your OP comes across very badly.

Why are you all being so mean? There’s obviously more to this. There’s multiple family heir looms and my husband is the older son. It was no surprise to me that she got it. When we go out for walks, she gets offered extra layers and welly boots so her cute little shoes don’t get damaged, she gets stuff bought for her, her parents get Xmas presents even tho they don’t celebrate Xmas in her country.
I’m not being petty, I’m reasonable human being.

Am I the only one who would rather have a new one?

Does she spend more time with them OP? Maybe she is just closer to the in laws than you are ?

My sister’s husband gave his grandmas ring although she had it reset into a more modern style. His older brother had to buy one. The ring was for the first to get engaged. Such is life

Worst case scenario, she simply likes her more than you. Nothing you can do about that and she doesn't have to like you both equally!

Jeez you're really hung up on her size and cuteness aren't you?

Envy is a terrible thing it destroys only you.

She can do what she likes with h3r possessions and heirlooms, she can buy presents for whoever she likes. Don't let petty jealousy and bitterness eat you up. If you're not surprised your sil was given the ring why are you bothered by it.

We aren’t being “mean”. You would have had more sympathetic responses if you hadn’t made personal comments about your SIL.

Do you need extra layers when you go for walks OP?

She isn’t your parent, she doesn’t need to treat you equally.

Maybe it’s nothing to do with the other DIL’s size or looks and more because she has a nice endearing personality? You sound very jealous and quite nasty OP with your attitude. I wouldn’t want to give you anything either.

Jealous much ?!! You sound about 12

If you act in front of your MIL how you come across on this thread then she probably thinks you aren’t very nice and gave the ring to the DIL she prefers. If you carry on this way, I’d guess you’ll never get anything from your MIL.

I’m another one who would hate to have a family heirloom as an engagement ring. Even if I loved the ring, I’d like a separate one intended and chosen for me.

Are you Megan Markle?

But when you both have kids you won’t have an interfering mil to put up with 🤷‍♀️

Your MIL has payed her cards in the table.

You need to take heed of what she's saying otherwise you'll have a life time of disappointment wrt to your relationship with her.

Remember though that it may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with her relationship with her sons-you're just collateral damage in this case.

I'm married to the underdog (I've been here and got the shirt) but I've outlasted any of the other WAGS and things have thawed over the years to point that we have a fairly nice relationship nowadays, 20 odd years later.

Let it go, fill Your life with other stuff.

If you both break up she'll be expected to return her ring, you get to keep yours.

If you feel that your MIL is rude to you, speak to your DH or your MIL about it.

If you feel she doesn't give you enough stuff, go get some bricks, build a bridge and get over it.

Posters on MN usually aren't that thick skinned when it comes to their own issues 😏.
I can understand your feelings, seems you and mil have laid the foundation for a "great" future relationship. But it is your dh who is being treated badly is his db the Golden child? Also be nice to your sil it is not her fault.
Ignore, hold your distance and enjoy you own family, merry Christmas 😀.

I think forrinor are the name of a band, I doubt they got any of her heirlooms

Op your coming across quite jealous, and I don't mean that in a horrible way!! but I get it! I'd be hurt too!! Let them get on with it, i bet your husband chose you a beautiful ring!!
Do you get along well with mil? Xx

Maybe they just gel better so they feel closer? Two people cant own the same item unfortunately. Or maybe she sees you as more independent. I too would prefer to have new myself.

Dsis got my grannys, its fine. It suits her.

You are me. 20 years on & 2 DC you develop a thick skin, only include her in stuff you absolutely have to & embrace wholeheartedly the time you have with her but keep it short & sweet and at arms length the rest of the time. Buy thoughtful gifts st Xmas & birthday but make everything about DH.

She’s the abnormal one, not you. My SIL has to put up with weekly visits each 24 hours long. I on the other hand am reduced to monthly day visits half of which I’m ‘working’ on .

I got a family ring and to be honest I’d have preferred one chosen by me and DH.

My sister in law got the nicer one (there were enough to go around) but she prefers mine.

You can’t win!

Be happy to get something that you like!