Help..how do I get my 3 1/2 year old to stay dry at night???

[Taistar]

HI... anyone got any ideas (I'm sure loads of you have) for getting my 3 1/2 year old to stay dry at night time? Her sister is 2 1/2 and just started potty training and is already nearly dry every night.

We used to put our dd on the loo at around midnight (whilst she was asleep) and she would have a wee and then she gradually stopped needing it a couple of months in

whats dd? I'm new to Mums net and getting lost with all the abbreviations!

It stands for dear daughter (sounds daft when you say it in full!!) so ds = dear son dh = dear husband etc.

ahhhh just found the abbreviations list!
Thanks will try waking the little cherub up and seeing if that works

My 3.5 yo was dry at night from the first day she was dry. In the last 2 weeks I have had to change the sheets almost every night. She started just after DD2 arrived on the scene and then sorted herself out and now has gone back again. I have friends who have DC of 5 and 6 who are still not dry at night so if you're worrying don't it can take some children a long time , if they are deep sleepers they won't necessarily wake up. i have tried to get DD1 to wee before going to sleep and then waking her at 10ish but often she's already wet the bed, it just seems at the moment she's sleeping more deeply than usual - she may also be deeply distressed about my bad perenting currently! - but actually I just think she's quite tired at the moment. You can try stuff but don't despair if it takes a few more years - I've heeard it only becomes a concern when they;'re 7 or 8 - so you've a long way to go. Just keep the nappies on it saves on washing sheets.

We actually held her on there asleep and just gently whispered to her to try and do a wee and somehow that and the cold seat stimulated her to do one...I couldnt actually believe it worked but it does!

With potty training I am firmly of the "wait until they are ready" mindset. With DD1 I just started suggesting that "big girls" didn't wear a nappy at night and that maybe in a few months she would prefer not to have one but no pressure. She went dry completely just around her fourth birthday and hasn't had a single accident in six months.

My DS1 is same age, and he can go for weeks or months with being dry, but then suddenly wet the bed every night for a week!

We find that limiting night time drinks and the lifting technique works. Personally I didn't want to get into the "Big boys don't do this...." approach and so told DS1 that he was wearing 'night time pants'. That way he could see that he was different from my 12 week DS2 who wears nappies IYKWIM (implying he was a baby because he was wearing a nappy/pull ups) But everyone has different tried and tested methods.

My HV said that the profession doesn't usually think bed wetting is a problem until at least ages 7 or 8 (for boys).

in order to become dry a night they have to produce a hormone...

this hormone can kick in ANY time between 2 years and 7 yars depending on the child....

so until it kicks in their really is NOTHING you (or they) can do to help things...

best to go back to napies and wait until ready IMO to save the tiredness and hassel for everyone

What does the hormone do exactly?

NannyL does the hormone just happen? DD 4.5 has had 5 nights of bone dry nappies and does a big wee on the loo soon after getting up. Until recently she could go till lunch time without doing a wee.

as far as i know the hormne does just happen...

the body just starts proding it at some point

I take my dd2 to the loo everynight when i go to bed (she's nearly 5) I sit her on the loo and usually she does a wee, sometimes it helps to turn on the tap.
She doesn't seem to wake up tho- and never remembers the next day.
did same with dd1, she just stopped needing to go after around a year.

Thanks Nanny L. This may help others so here goes. DD is 4.6 and suddenly dry at night. She was day trained 2.6 and very quick but it would seem it has taken another 2 yrs for hormone to appear. Until last month if she fell asleep on settee she would wet her self, absolutely no urge to wake up and wee.

So glad I found this thread as I was just about to create one about the same sort of thing. DD1 who is 3.9 years has been completely dry at night from 7:30pm to the morning for about 3 months. She's been out of nappies at night since Christmas - at her request I might add - and for the first few months we lifted her at 10pm ish which was working well. Stopped lifting 3 months ago and had no further accidents which was great news especially as if she needed the loo in the night, she used to call us. We've recently been away for two weeks and following 2 nighttime accidents - which were purely down to sheer volume of fluid she was drinking between 5pm and bedtime - (very hot place...not wanting to drink during the day) we starting lifting her again as she was getting upset.

Since we've been back home however, the situation has got worse and in spite of still lifting her, she is still wetting the bed at another point in the night. This is in spite of the fact that her fluid intake now that we're back in the cold has reduced.

I'm wondering whether this is just a phase and a result of just being unsettled abit...or something medical....or just a stage of regression (which so far has not happened at all with any daytime wees/poos) and would like to hear from anyone who has gone through a similar thing or could offer some advice as to how I handle it...i.e. sticker charts, etc.??

Thanks to everyone for replying I'm new to Mumsnet and have decided this is the best thing since sliced bread!!! I'm going to recommend it to all my friends.
DD1 is not well at the moment so will try some of your ideas once she's better!

If she is not ready then there is nothing you can do.
I have a dd who potty trained herself the week after her 2nd birthday and was dry at night in the same week.
Ds will soon be 7 and he has never had a dry night.

About 30% of all 5 yr olds will still regularly wet the bed - anything up to age 7 is normal & most children will grow out this. Problem can be more common in boys & is often hereditory.
Reward charts can be useful but not always helpful in children who 'aren't just ready'
& in those children it may be a bit unfair as it's something they can't quite manage yet. Useful tips are avoiding fluids an hour or so before bedtime, avoiding fizzy drinks and drinks that contain caffeine, increasing fluids during the day (this trains the bladder to stretch & get used to holding more) lifting children later in the evening (but this should be done at different times & the child should be aware of what they are doing).
There are usually specialist clinics (enuresis) for children but not before age 7 as before this it is not considered a problem - ask your school nurse for a referral. In the meantime be assured there are lots of parents in the same position (they just don't talk about it!).

Looking at the shelves and shelves of night time pants (i.e. for children dry in the day) in Sainsbury's today it must be really common.

agree madamplatypus - whnevere I get a little anxious that DS1 (5.5) is still in nighttime nappies, I figure that Pampers haven't made a whole range just for him.....

BTW, Taistar - DS2 (3.8) is dry at night.

Don't worry yourself over it

I lifted dd (3yrs 2mths) at around 10.30pm for about 3 weeks. She would do a wee and then was dry in the morning. She never 'woke' up really and it didn't seem to affect her the next day. By end of week 2 the amount of 'wee' she produced was almost zero and by middle of week 3 I stopped lifting her and we haven't had a wet bed since.

We also made sure that, initially, she didn't have a drink within the 1hr before bedtime (7pm). This is now 1/2 an hour before bedtime. She often doesn't need the loo immediately she gets up (7am) and can happily play and potter about for an hour or so before she needs to wee.

What's lifting???? IS this just when you take them out of bed and pop them on the toilet without trying to wake them up?

Yes, Taistar .

My ds is 6.5 and i still lift him every night... he is dry now most nights but only if i lift him.. and when its warm and he has had lots of fluids he still sometimes is wet even if we lift him!!!! the hv told me not to worry till he is 7/8 yrs...

thank you everyone