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Parenting

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Original poster

Is the health visitor right ?

37 replies

Catch22Charlotte · 07/12/2018 21:08

Hi, my name is Charlotte, I have a beautiful 8 week old baby girl.
I combine bottle and breastfeeding as it seemed to work well.

My health visitor is insistent that I breastfeed more and is against the bottle feeding.

She wants me to breastfeed constantly and reduce the amount of formula milk.

Now I have a life where I can't put her down at all... she doesn't sleep well and is restless and wakes after only a short while.
My husband does alot to help when he at home after work.
The health visitor says it is good to use my breast as a pacifier to get my daughter to sleep.

Am I a bad mother or is the health visitor telling me wrong ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ItchySeveredFoot · 07/12/2018 21:11

They're told to push breast is beast. There's nothing wrong with mixed feeding although it may affect your supply. If you're happy and the baby is gaining weight then crack on.

dementedpixie · 07/12/2018 21:12

She can't force you not to use formula. Increasing formula will decrease your breastmilk supply though. It is your choice so do whatever suits you

ItchySeveredFoot · 07/12/2018 21:12

Oh and I exclusively breastfed and letting the baby use your nipple as a pacifier is exhausting and sometimes painful. I gave in and rocked mine to sleep instead.

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choccybuttonshelpeverything · 07/12/2018 21:13

I'm very pro breastfeeding, but do what's best for your family, trust your instincts x

Lollyice · 07/12/2018 21:13

I fed DS breast and bottle as he was so big and I was exhausted. It was fine and I was surprised how helpful the midwife was (had to stay in the hospital for a few days)
Do what you are comfortable with.

SleepySofa · 07/12/2018 21:13

If you are happy and your baby is happy, keep doing what you’re doing. Mothers’ mental health is very important, and often neglected by the pushers of breast is best.

user1493413286 · 07/12/2018 21:13

Do what is best for you and your family ; combination feeding saved me. I would have stopped breastfeeding quite early if it wasn’t for combination feeding. My health visitor was very supportive and said that what is best for my family is what is best for my baby

Creatureofthenight · 07/12/2018 21:15

She’s not wrong, she’s just got a different opinion of what’s right!
If you want to increase breastfeeding and reduce formula then yes her advice is good. If combi feeding is working for you then just politely decline her advice and carry on.

coffeekittens · 07/12/2018 21:15

She can’t force you to breastfeed, if how you’re feeding now works for you then I’d carry on. Hi

JudgeRulesNutterButter · 07/12/2018 21:15

I combine bottle and breastfeeding as it seemed to work well.

If you’ve found something that’s working for you then stick with it! It’s no small achievement when that happens.

(If you wanted to bf more then I would agree with your hv that it’s fine to feed to sleep, though. I do think people over-worry about that.)

Congratulations on your baby

Hyppolyta · 07/12/2018 21:16

I exlusively fed 6.5 days a week. On the half day off, I took a long hot bath, went out, or caught up with friends, then got a full nights sleep.

My HV was horrified but DC was fine and it was great to get the break. If its working for you and the baby, its fine.

Congratulations!

kazwelch · 07/12/2018 21:29

I breastfed my oldest son for a week but I never had enough milk so I bottle feed him & with my youngest boy I bottle feed him all the time.

Theweasleytwins · 07/12/2018 21:39

Just do what is best for you

I'm combi feeding too- I have two older children and it's helpful if someone else can feed dd sometimes

Being used as a pacifier? No thanks- painful enough already

PerfectPeony · 07/12/2018 21:45

I agree if combo feeding is working, then keep doing it!

Another idea if you want the option of giving a bottle would be to express if you are able to? I have a stash of breast milk in the freezer so if I feel like a break my DH defrosts it and DD will take a bottle.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 07/12/2018 21:47

Tell her thanks and you'll think about it then just carry on as you are.

Handsoffmysweets · 07/12/2018 21:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

Ohyesiam · 07/12/2018 21:50

I’m very pro breast feeding, but would have LOVED my first to take a bottle too.
You need to do what works for you.

Original poster

Catch22Charlotte · 07/12/2018 21:53

Thank you everyone for your kind reply and support.
It is beginning to wear me out completely and I'm struggling with exhaustion and mentally.... I feel that more formula gives me some rest bite.... I do love to breast feeding her.. I have adhd which makes my feelings worse.... but my health visitor doesn't listen and keeps saying breast feeding more making me feel like I'm bad... I just want what's best for me and my daughter.... my husband says I'm a brilliant mother.... I need to stop listening to everthing that the health visitor says... and not to feel guilty.

OP posts:

Helbelle75 · 07/12/2018 21:55

Agree with whatever works for you.
We were encouraged to combi feed as my milk was slow to come in. DH gave a bottle of formula at bedtime, which worked for us. It meant he could do bedtime on his own and I could carry on with my hobbies a couple of times a week.
DD is 19 months and still breastfeeding. She has a bottle of cow's milk before bed now instead of formula.
We're all really happy with how it works!

TigerQuoll · 07/12/2018 21:58

Another way of looking at it is many people struggle getting their baby to even accept a bottle, so you're doing really well there.

kazwelch · 07/12/2018 22:08

It's up to you it's your body your baby do what you feel like.

Pastaagain78 · 07/12/2018 22:11

You aren’t wrong.
She isn’t wrong either.

Alwaysdrama · 07/12/2018 22:13

You may have misunderstood her? Is she possibly trying to explain (poorly) that if you want to go to continue to breastfeed you may need to reduce formula or your supply will reduce and may fail to be adequate for your baby (they then tend to refuse breast as it doesn’t come as quick or easily as the bottle).
Perhaps she is saying feed more if you want to properly establish your supply as 8 weeks is very little still.
If you are giving more than one bottle a day at this age then your supply may well suffer.

Just a thought. HVs aren’t all nasty women who are desperate to make you feel bad- they usually have your best interested at heart. Some are a bit bull in a china shop though.

MiniMum97 · 07/12/2018 22:13

Another vote for doing what works best for you. Baby will be getting lots of beneficial breast milk. But your physical and mental wellness is important too. Your bond with baby will be better if you are happy and healthy.

Nothisispatrick · 07/12/2018 22:17

Do what works for you. What health visitors say isn’t law.

That said, bottle feeding before your supply is fully established can have a bad impact on your milk. I say that as someone who has given up breastfeeding because I combi fed dd from birth and she stopped latching and my supply dried up.

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