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Parenting

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Original poster

Is the health visitor right ?

37 replies

Catch22Charlotte · 07/12/2018 21:08

Hi, my name is Charlotte, I have a beautiful 8 week old baby girl.
I combine bottle and breastfeeding as it seemed to work well.

My health visitor is insistent that I breastfeed more and is against the bottle feeding.

She wants me to breastfeed constantly and reduce the amount of formula milk.

Now I have a life where I can't put her down at all... she doesn't sleep well and is restless and wakes after only a short while.
My husband does alot to help when he at home after work.
The health visitor says it is good to use my breast as a pacifier to get my daughter to sleep.

Am I a bad mother or is the health visitor telling me wrong ?

OP posts:

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babysharkah · 07/12/2018 22:26

This makes me angry. It's not up to your hi it's up to you and your baby end of.

Ozziewozzie · 07/12/2018 22:27

Hv is wrong. Firstly they ought to be giving you impartial advice based on facts.
That way you can make an informed decision to suit your personal choices and life style.
My hv was brilliant, and simply told me how it was. Formula feeding has been brilliant for us. The whole family can feed the baby. ( plus dh can do some night feeds early on) Be confident in your choices. Breast is not always best.

Applepudding2018 · 07/12/2018 22:57

I mixed fed because my baby was losing weight and they said that maybe I wasn't producing enough milk and a bottle would show how much milk he was taking. This was from about 6 weeks and recommended by HV/ paediatrician.

It was probably a turning point in me being able to cope with DS, he put on weight, slept better and we were able to go out for the day without me spending half of the time sitting in the car breast feeding.

It definitely worked for me.

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Hofuckingho · 07/12/2018 23:00

🙄

llangennith · 08/12/2018 00:25

Next time just tell the HV what she wants to hear.

Graphista · 08/12/2018 00:47

You do what works for you and your family.

She can advise but you don't have to take her advice.

My dd was initially very poorly, tube fed, then bottle, then bf, then my milk dried and had to ff again.

None of the above did her any harm whatsoever.

I also used dummies, I am not a human bloody dummy! Sod that I'd never have been detached from dd!

She's there to support you BOTH.

Sailinghappy · 08/12/2018 00:51

Do what feels right for you and your baby!

TORDEVAN · 08/12/2018 15:51

Best thing to do with health visitors is nod, make agreeable noises, then do what you want after they've left.

If mixed feeding is working well for you then keep at it! You know both you and your baby much better than any health visitor.

Fed is best.

blackcat86 · 08/12/2018 16:16

Do what works best for you. All the HVs I've met are crap and seem to have either never had their own kids or not know very much. I had one asking me very basic questions about birth marks. Another berated me because DD isn't rolling over at 3 months (she also has a painful skin infection on her head which she didn't even consider). My DM joked that it's awful that DD also can't drive or cook a roast as she was hoping she'd help with Xmas dinner. If baby is happy and putting on weight then keep doing what you're doing.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/12/2018 08:04

I don’t think you HV was trying to make
You feel bad, possibly just advising with regards to your supply. Like all advice take it with a pinch of salt and adapt it to your own situation.
I loved Breast feeding but it is relentless and exhausting and I don’t think we as first time
Mothers are ever fully informed enough about what to expect- I wouldn’t hate on your HV for trying to encourage you though.

SpudUDontLike · 09/12/2018 08:10

I did both and plan to this time around as well (currently 25 weeks preg).

At my midwife appointment they asked me how I plan to feed and I explained what I'd done last time and I'll be doing again and they started pushing breastfeeding coaches etc... trying to make me appointments that I just calmly explained I did not want.

With my first, they knew I was bf'ing and on my first day out of hospital after two day c section stay, they sent someone round who was a bf'ing coach when I had already said please don't do this!

It was not well received by me, if I want help I will ask for it. I was so sick of being asked how I was getting on with BF and if I said I was happy, they would ask me to show them how my DS latches on. So, even if he was happily asleep or he'd just fed they'd expect me to do it again. I said No, I'm fine thanks. They can't make you.

Am dreading being in the ward after giving birth this time as I'm preg with twins and they will be forcing me to purely breastfeed but I want to do combination feeding, and I bloody well will!

QuilliamCakespeare · 09/12/2018 08:12

It depends what you want. If you want to get to a position where you're exclusively breastfeeding, you do need to put baby to the breast as much as possible to increase your supply. If you're happy mixed feeding, just carry on as you are.

Just a word of caution though - I mixed fed my first because we had all kinds of problems with bf and ended up on a feeding plan. After a few months he refused to latch completely - the bottle was just easier for him.

Good luck. You're doing a great job!

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