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Original poster

AIBU - strangers touching baby

82 replies

Angeliki159 · 26/11/2018 22:21

It's a but weird when random strangers touch your baby isn't it?
I keep having random people, shop assistants, children, people in lifts etc stroking my LOs face or holding his hand.
I'm not a germophone or anything, I just don't understand why people think it's ok to touch a baby you don't know without at least checking with the parent first.

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HollowTalk · 27/11/2018 19:56

I want to know whether the people who think this are the ones who never answer the front door, too.

FourFuxxakes · 27/11/2018 20:02

I never minded people touching or stroking my babies. I thought it was normal and lovely that they cared. They're 6&7 now and their hands haven't dropped off or their skin melted due to some horrific disease Hmm

TeachesOfPeaches · 27/11/2018 20:20

I didn't mind my son being touched and since I've become a mother myself I feel the urge to touch babies.

Because of MN I make sure I'm never within 100 ft of a baby in case I infect/cause offence to the pfb mother

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BarbarianMum · 27/11/2018 22:03

This is such a British thing. Grim.

Bouchie · 27/11/2018 22:14

Its so embarrassingly British. We are such an uptight bunch of twats. In most other countries adults also touch each other. Shock horror.

GrumpySausage · 27/11/2018 22:20

My friend had two very premature babies (28 & 32 weeks) and both times once they were discharged from hospital she was given a sign to put on her buggy saying 'please don't touch as I was born premature' or something similar. Premature babies can often have lower immunity or difficulty in fighting off illnesses. She never used it but I know she was tempted to as found many people touched her baby.

I've got two kids and although I'm not against it, this has made me think before doing it myself. I wouldn't want to put a baby at risk.

BertrandRussell · 27/11/2018 22:22

I'm Irish/Italian. I not only touch your baby, I give you baked goods, come home with you and look after it while you have a proper sleep, do your hoovering and fill your freezer.

meow1989 · 27/11/2018 22:25

I was super super aware of germs when ds was new born, made everyone wash hands before touching him etc. Now he's 5 months and everything is in his mouth I'm much more relaxed, he lives people and will coo and grin at anyone chatting to him or giving his face a little stroke. If he was bothered it would be different from a body autonomy point of view. If people are ill I do t like them touching or holding him but he's at the age where a bit of dirt is ok. Although there's a tho g going around Facebook about RSV lately that my made me think

Hellomatey001 · 28/11/2018 04:05

I took DD out when she was 4 monthd old after her jabs. Met one of DHs colleagues who promptly stuck het knuckle in DDs mouth! I tried to move her hand away saying "you don't want baby saliva on your finger" but she would not budge! Worse thing was DH told me this woman was in and out of hospital so my head was in a spin later.

Now I have read the post about HEP I will panic some more!

TexasParent · 28/11/2018 06:11

Much harder was strangers wanting to touch Mums belly, as if to pass on good wishes. Sometimes Pops would step between likely candidates to prevent the intrusion. Re" baby touching, It was very hard to tell our kiddo to go hug that kid with the green stuff running down his nose so we could innoculate him early. Of course Quack Wakefield made the parenting decisions harder and fraudulent presenters should be castrated like that Olympic Dr. fondling young girls. Parenting is such a joy and chore at the same time. Pax Lawson di Ransom Canyon

Mumshappy · 28/11/2018 07:22

I dont mind the touching. Its the finger in the mouth thing I dont like and the removal of the dummy ie oh he doesnt need that.

BertramKibbler · 28/11/2018 07:28

Honestly, I’ve never minded people coming over my babies. The most recent are twins and the amount of attention we got when they were tiny was crazy. It’s lovely though, I felt very proud of them and it was nice to see the joy they brought other people.

That sign mentioned up thread is one of the cringiest things I’ve ever read about. I think I’d have struggled to not laugh at the pointing mother!

ShatnersBassoon · 28/11/2018 07:35

^*cooing

I hope Grin

AustralianMumof2 · 28/11/2018 07:37

I saw a little sign once hanging on a stroller saying ‘your germs are too big for me, please don’t touch me’. I thought it was great.
When my son was a baby the local deranged (!?) woman who picks up discarded cig butts to smoke at the local shopping centre (she’s in a care facility nearby but seems alone during the day) zeroed in to touched him when he was strapped into the trolley. Ugh.

AbyRabin · 28/11/2018 07:42

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BertramKibbler · 28/11/2018 08:05

Haha, yes the other would be quite disturbing Blush

MemoryOfSleep · 28/11/2018 09:40

I'm a germaphobe when it comes to my baby and did freak out when randomers (in the doctors waiting room of all places!) touched her. She puts everything in her mouth now though, which makes me more relaxed! I still wouldn't let anyone kiss her or put their fingers in her mouth and I would baby-wipe her hands if someone touched them because they go straight in her mouth. The hospital advise you not to let anyone kiss them for fear of herpes, which can be passed on even if there is no active coldsore.

In short, yanbu. No one has a right to touch anyone else imo.

HomeMadeMadness · 28/11/2018 09:48

I probably wouldn't want people's hands on a brand new newborn but an older baby surely it's sweet they're being affectionate?

PaulMorel · 28/11/2018 09:49

Maybe it is okay but not to a point that they will touch your baby's mouth that is a big NO NO for me. It is fine for me when it is in the cheeks because I understand that they find my baby cute.

drying · 28/11/2018 10:19

I only disliked my MIL putting her fingers in my baby's mouth. A stroking of the face or whatever from a stranger is fine. You'd get more germs from a bus handrail fgs

BertrandRussell · 28/11/2018 11:01

I remember my mother being cross when Princess Diana put her own little finger in William's mouth to suck on at his christening!

BertramKibbler · 28/11/2018 11:27

I was hoping the Princess Di had touched you and annoyed your mother.

TeabagTelepathy · 28/11/2018 13:21

Just to the PPs who said it’s a British thing and the British are uptight twats because of this....Hmm I can say it’s not just British people who feel like this, but it’s a helpful contribution to the discussion

GummyGoddess · 28/11/2018 13:27

I don't mind, people just see a cute baby and want to admire them! Both my babies loved the attention and having their faces stroked, they both are rarely I'll too.

I'm sure there was an article investigating the link between excessive cleanliness and leukaemia recently. Excessive cleanliness is not good for children, they just need a normal level of hygiene!

Cosmoa · 28/11/2018 14:41

Generally it doesn't bother me. For instance the other day I was on the train for 30 mins and had my 6 month old daughter sat on the table.. And there was a sweet elderlycouple across from us and the lady held my daughters foot the whole way ❤️ it was so sweet!

However later that evening we were at my mum's graduation party and I stepped out as it was a bit loud and a drunk lad from another function was cooing over my daughter and suddenly reached out and grabbed her hand... I wasn't as comfortable with that!