AIBU - strangers touching baby

[Angeliki159]

It's a but weird when random strangers touch your baby isn't it?
I keep having random people, shop assistants, children, people in lifts etc stroking my LOs face or holding his hand.
I'm not a germophone or anything, I just don't understand why people think it's ok to touch a baby you don't know without at least checking with the parent first.

Putting alcohol hand gel on a baby is honestly one of the most idiotic things I have ever heard of. That baby will get ill by sucking it off their hands. Much more ill than stranger germs from a simple touch on the hand. There have been cases of toddlers dying from hand gel.

Those posts r bloody annoying.. don't use someone's thread as a platform for ur advertising

I think Cherry raises an interesting point that it is an evolutionary urge to touch babies. They've evolved to be cute; otherwise, they're so labour-intensive there'd be no point to bothering.

I think people like the OP are unbalanced and myopic, no one will care about your baby (then toddler) in a couple of years - you'll miss people gazing adoringly at them when they start glaring.

I hate this too it's weird. Also my Ds is mixed so has afro hair, people love to touch it. I don't mind the comments but why touch someone's hair?! All I can think in my case is where I live the people are predominantly white...

My mum is one of those sorts who touches babies faces and hands. It makes me cringe every time. I’m amazed someone hasn’t told her to fuck off yet.

I’m only 29 weeks pregnant and need to work on saying “what do you think your doing” if this happens to my baby. No doubt I’ll be treated like I’m the unreasonable one though

English people can be so weird

I’m equally weird about people touching my bump as well. I just like my personally space and I don’t see why my baby should be touched by strangers

I've seen people hang signs on the carry handle of babies car seats that say 'STOP Please don't touch me, your germs are too big for me'.

I was very chilled about it (I figured as long as I was with him I’d be exposed to the same germs and he’d get antibodies in my breastmilk) until I felt like a bit of a dick when DS got a cold following a group of children fawning over him. Probably entirely coincidental but I draw the line at random germs kids now.

'I’m equally weird about people touching my bump as well'

Bump touching is totally out of order. It's your body, and a fairly intimate part of your body as well. We never go around grabbing people around the middle but when you're pregnant it's fine apparently! I have never been pregnant by the way

@ShatnersBassoon I had one of those signs for both of my DDs as they were each 3 months premature. Judgy much?

I did say I guessed the baby was unwell and needed protecting.

It’s personal choice isn’t it. I don’t think we want to keep in a bubble. But you are allowed not to be ok with it.

I felt intimidated by one man with dirty pastels all over his fingers walking down the street at the side of the pram trying to touch my baby when she was younger. I don’t think that’s acceptable tbh and I don’t usually have a problem with stopping to talk to people and love it when people coo over her even if I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone. Sometimes it’s ok sometimes it’s not

Plasters not pastels

Jodie Kidd couldn't stop touching my 8 week old ds in an airport lift 4 years ago.... he's always been a babe magnet !

I’m torn in this.
Part of my thinks for god sake, people who’ve had children and live children but they grown up will miss the baby phase, they just.... want it for a second. Hmmm not sure that’s right but you see what I’m trying to say? They mean no harm.

Other hand there were some moments with my pfb that I was very resentful of people being near her.

With second born I’m so relaxed and i now know Roy can miss the baby phase and just want to coo.

Urg. Sorry for bad typos. Wriggly baby doesn’t help.

I was not precious at all when my kids were tiny however I had that mad, slightly animalistic urge to protect them and people touching them made me really really uncomfortable. It want rational or to do with germs or anything just an instinctive....urge .
I would NEVER touch someone's baby without a sking for exactly that reason.

Hand gel on a baby’s hand is a dreadful idea. It’s basically pure alcohol and a baby sticking a hand full of that in their mouth could be poisoned.

Talk about not seeing the wood...

I hate it and i have told multiple people. I dont care what their reactions are. I want to teach boundaries to my boy that strangers touching you is not ok

As cute as babies are I'd not touch another person's baby without the parents ok, and never a strangers. TBH I don't touch people on their bare skin because I'm still battling with the habit of biting my nails and I don't want to 'infect' anyone with my germs or be infected with theirs, which is why I always carry a small bottle of antibacterial gel. Sometimes toddlers have reached to touch me though so in that instance I go with gentle redirection/distraction rather than outright refusal because kids don't understand why it's not a great idea to touch/reach out to strangers.

Oh I so used to hate this! It gave me the rage and I would have to restrain myself from the urge to slap strangers who did this.

But I am peri menopausal so now have to restrain myself from the urge to pick up people's babies, tickling those chubby little feet etc. I don't ever do it though, so no one has slapped me yet!

It's hormonal here - also agree with PP its evolution.

What goes around comes around - you will be the interfering old bag one day too

I recently went for some food in a pub and a slightly drunk man came over and took my baby’s hand. Before I knew he was kissing it. I am just too polite to say anything too confrontational. I generally move my baby away and tactfully avoid the potential for these situations but it caught me unaware.

I know people will just say ‘put on your big girl pants and be direct’ but is there a non-confrontational way of stopping someone? It feels so rude to stop someone who is just trying to show warmth.

@TealTurnip i highly recommend you buy the product below. It’s totally natural - it uses an acid that is found in the body. You can sterilise a dummy with it or even clean an apple for example. I use that on my baby’s hands when we have been out and about and he’s touched lots of stuff.

The small bottle is £2-3. Which is rather expensive. But you can then refill from the large bottle and that lasts ages.