Have you got a kind child?

[PrincessJuanita]

Hi! Raising my ds to be kind and treat others well is probably more important to me than many other things you wish for your child. We've had a bit of a carry on today as he's been quite selfish over some Christmas presents but he's only 6 so am hoping this is just an age thing.
So my question, if you have an older child/teen/adult child who is kind and thoughtful, how did you encourage and develop this? Or is it just part of who they are without any input from you?
Thanks!

My dd 4 is so kind she melts my heart. I'm not sure how I managed to have such a kind daughter, she would have already be donating her toys to the new baby, as she did with her sister and cousin.
I always wanted her to be kind and I have lead by example I would give her everything I have and I praise her when she's kind. She is not spoilt though because no means no and I try to back up a no with a reason.
She does do some funny things though, like she brought her sister a build a bear and then brought one for herself. She also once spent ages making me chocolate lolly pop. Of course I thanked her, she then sat next to me and said 'so mummy how do you feel about sharing?'.

I think 6 is quite young to have developed the kind of selfless kindness I suspect you are hoping for. I remember my DD at that age doing a load of drawings to give to her grandparents at Xmas and deciding to keep them all I briefly thought I was raising a monster. At 10, I am having trouble keeping her from spending almost her entire year of pocket money savings (150 quid) on xmas presents for her siblings!! She's kind and generous to a fault - much more so than me, I sometimes think!

Lavender yes I think you are dead right and I worry about that as well :(

My kids are all very kind. Empathy is the most important thing for me. Mainly modelled behaviour. DH and I are always kind to each other, don't row etc.

I have drummed into them about unkind people, narcissistic behaviour, how to spot them, red flags, that sort of thing.

I am very proud of them all. Maybe not my toddler right now but my middle one and teenager are lovely at this moment in time.

DS teen recently came across an elderly man in the park who he thought looked unwell. He stopped to help him and the man was having chest pains and difficulty breathing. He called an ambulance and stayed with him. Was very proud.

I think the main thing is to show kind behaviour and they will hopefully follow, but it may not be seen that way by other. As an example, I have 4 DC.

DS1 - has always been well mannered, helping others and people commented on it to me. Not so kind to his siblings, especially DD1.

DD1 - is kind to her friends, but unhelpful at home and can come over as quite rude when out and about, this is getting better at 16 but between 8-13 she could be quite short with people. However, she does have some autistic traits and we are hoping for an assessment now she is at college. So some of this might be because of her anxieties in new places with new people. At school she was a mix.

DD2 - she is 11 now and has always had a kind nature, helpful at home and school, loves her friends and likes to help others. She has raised money for charities and considers her impact on others, looks after and plays with her younger brother since the minute he was born. When she was 2.5 we had another child who was stillborn, and despite her young age offered me great comfort as if she knew I what I needed, this has continued and she was given the kindness cup from school in Uear 5.

DS2 - he's 7 and has his ups and downs, still kind and thoughtful but can be a little unpleasant at times, but this has been a recent development and I'm hoping it doesn't last.

He sounds smart! Recently I suggested to my 7 year old he spend some of his Xmas fair money on a 'secret santa' stall specifically set up for kids to buy family members gifts. He replied no thanks, he would prefer to spend the money on himself!
But then when one of his team mates was injured on the footy field he was first over to comfort him. Likewise, his teacher told me he recently stood up for a friend who was being picked on.
So you can be both savvy and kind!

Bloody hell, what's going on this morning. I hardly ever hit the report button but this morning is changing that!

You've raised a child with great self esteem and confidence. He's a winner!

Yes my DD (11) is a good sharer! , She adores her step siblings Dss12 and DSD 16 and she always makes sure she goes out of her way to share what ever she has. I could well-up now just thinking about how proud i am. She spied some chocolate coins i had and she said oooh please can me and share these when we watch a film together and I accidentally left one of her stocking fillers on the side after xmas shopping (it was a personalised cup) and she said but what about and havent they got one too? - and yes they all have something personalised for there stockings at xmas.