How to explain to 7yo that Santa needs her to contribute to her present?

[av99]

Our 7yo has asked for a musical instrument for Christmas to replace the one she has, which she has now outgrown. She has lessons, practises hard, and we think this is a good idea.

The thing is that it will cost £300 (we've researched it, and this is the best option musically), and our budget would only be £100 for a main present from Father Christmas. However, she has managed to save £100 of her own from generous relatives over the years, and we could also sell the instrument she already has after Christmas, perhaps for £100 too, leaving "Santa" with just £100 to pay. Perfect!

But she thinks that she can just ask Father Christmas for the new instrument as he can afford anything, and keep her £100 for herself. We want to keep the magic of Santa alive, but how do we explain that sometimes, for very expensive presents, Father Christmas welcomes some financial help, as he has lots of children to buy for? And how do we explain how we get the money to him? We know that this isn't the worst problem in the world, and we're lucky to be able to afford a nice present at all, but has anyone else come across this, and how did they manage to solve it please? (Her birthday isn't until September, so we can't wait till then.)

Agree with others in that ‘Santa’ has never given the ‘big’ presents in our house. I want my DS to know that people love him and one way of showing their love is to give him nice presents and he has to thank them. Why should ‘Santa’ get all the credit . And does a 7 year old really still believe, she might be pretending . Maybe now is the time to be honest, or if you really don’t want to tell her, explain that ‘Santa’ is giving her £100 towards the instrument.

I told my DD Santa doesnt buy big presents because he has a lot of people to buy for and he has a budget. 7 is old enough to understand that you can’t afford something.

7 isn’t unusually old to believe in Santa. My DD is 8 and has only really stated to question it this year. 10/11 is unusually old to still believe imo.

My DD is 10 and still believes. Nobody has disillusioned her yet, so why would I tell her? I'm not a Christmas mad person, but it is nice to enjoy her childhood and Santa is part of that.

I think it would be very sad to tell a 7 yo that Santa doesn't exist. Most of my friends DC found out around age 10/11.

I think ita wrong to let kids school start secondary school still believing but otherwise what’s the rush to get rid of the Christmas magic.

Santa has a toy workshop - not an anything shop? She doesn't want a toy instrument because she is too advanced.

He might leave her a musical instrument gift card so that the instrument could be bought though... and perhaps some other little gifts because she is special?

Ok this will be frowned upon, but your 7 year old doesn't have access to her bank account, online banking etc so unless she has the £100 in cash under mattress how is she even going to know you used it?

Borrow it and pay £100 back to her ASAP.

Music shops often allow you to rent an instrument rather than buy it. Could you do that, and find a way to fund the rest later eg by the sale of her old one, and some scrimping from you?

DD wanted the Lego Hogwarts castle at £350. I told her I couldn't afford it so she said she would ask Santa.

I told her that Santa doesn't make Lego and she argued that he makes everything and anything, but I told her that Lego is very special and that Santa is not allowed to make it in his factory.

She is now asking for a Poopsie Unicorn instead

so I think you could come up with a story of some sorts that Santa has a limit, or Santa doesn't make that type of instrument.

What someone else said about music shops hiring out/leasing instruments is an idea worth considering, op.

This is all very you you you. It's not what Santa is about. The concept is what you're not getting. So you're going to take her tiny sum of savings, to buy her an instrument. That's her little bit of money! Just get her something else for the £100 you have and make it a happy Christmas. It's utterly selfish of you to put your thoughts of what your child needs above hers at this time of year.

4nonblondes
What are you talking about?! 100 pounds isn't a "little bit of money"

You can't ask her to pay towards her own Christmas present. Santa or no Santa, that's just not on.
£300 seems a lot for a child's musical instrument. If she's only 7 surely she's going to outgrow this one as well. Can her teacher suggest anything? Or will a music shop let you pay in installments?

It's the child's life's savings and it may seem small, but it's HER MONEY. So Santa doesn't get to steal that. That's not the point of Santa.

Instruments are educational. Mummy and Daddy buy those. You wouldnt get her a text book for Christmas.
What grade is she? Tell her she can have a new instrument when she gets her grade 3. If shes higher than a grade 3 at 7 then buy it for her anyway, she has a gift.

7 year old shouldnt be giving Santa a bung!

She gets a letter from Santa explaining that his elves only make toys but he also buys presents for children from specialist places such as musical instrument factories.

But this year it is too late for him to order the instrument. He could leave an elf with the task of ordering and waiting for it but that could take nearly a year. Also this year there have been lots and lots of good children all wanting special things and some of them have never had a present before.

He knows that there are shops that stock the instrument so he wants to know should give her £100 to add to her savings and then she can save up to buy it herself?

He could bring her something else instead? Maybe something small but he will help mummy buy the instrument for her birthday.

Obviously word it how your child will understand, and maybe it is from the chief elf or Mrs Xmas.

Having said that IMHO a child should not be buying their own Xmas present.

This is why I’m relieved Santa just brings a stocking of bits and bobs in our house. Main gifts are all from people who can be thanked. My children will often mention who gave them something while using it

@4nonblondes £100 isn't a little bit of money! It's all I have to my name at the moment which is quite depressing.

As for the op I wouldn't ask her to pay towards her own present. I'd see if any family members would be happy to chip in and if not find another way to get one next year.

Last year my son wanted a Lego set that was extortionate so we gave him money from Father Christmas with a letter explaining what it was for and that he could put it towards the Lego set he wanted as he had to be fair to all the boys and girls.

When my kids have asked for something too expensive I've said "That's too expensive. Even Santa has a budget, because the elves can't make everything so he has to buy some things."

However, I wouldn't make my 7yo contribute her £100 towards a musical instrument for her own Xmas present. Sorry. And I say that as someone who isn't at all OTT with Xmas presents for my DC.

With the vast majority of musical instruments it is much better to buy second hand. For example, if we're talking violins, there are zillions of 1/2 and 3/4 size Stentors kicking around 2nd hand that will be in great condition. You could get a decent student instrument for £100. When you do the next step up to full size it would be utter madness to buy a new one as new ones need a lot of playing in and shopping second hand gives a much greater variety to choose from.

Brass instruments tend to be good second hand too.

Woodwind you need to be a bit more careful buying second hand as there are more little things that can go wrong given all the keys but I still encourage my pupils to buy second hand as you get a much better instrument for your money.

Keyboards/electric pianos are harder to come by 2nd hand though so if this is what you're after I can see why your £300 budget would be hard to lower.

In our house santa does the stocking and 1 small present. Rest she knows is from us

Santa brings the gifts but parents have to pay. That’s what my mum told me and it makes perfect sense as it doesn’t take long for children to realise that some children get way more than others. Otherwise how do you explain that Bob has got a book and Jim has got an X-box?

Not sure how you’d get round this really. Sorry OP.

I don’t really get the need for “getting the credit”. It’s just a few short years when they believe. I don’t care about getting the credit, I care that DS has a magical Christmas where he believes in Santa. Saying that, Santa is a glorified postman in our house anyway, as we say aunties and uncles etc have told Santa what DS would like and asked Santa to get his elves to make it for him, and deliver it to DS on Christmas morning.

My son wanted an instrument last year. I told him Santa doesn’t bring instruments and he’d need to save himself. Which he did (unexpectedly). Santa brought something a little more budget friendly.