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AIBU or should we have sat separately?

30 replies

user1489179870 · 14/11/2018 17:41

Just back from a day trip on our holiday, we were only just on time as my 3 year old needed the loo last minute and we had to whizz to the loo. We were on time not late at all but this meant we were the last three on the bus, me, my three year old daughter and husband. The three remaining seats were all dotted over the bus, one in the back seat, one next to the tour guide and one in the middle of the bus. No one offered to move, a man said my daughter could sit next to him but I declined and said we couldn’t travel if separated like this for a one hour bus journey. A very kind lady offered to move from her seat into the empty seat so I could sit with daughter and hubby say at the front. All ok but we said for the way back we must get on sooner to sit together. When got back on the people were saying the seats were theirs and saying I was ‘ignorant’ I was really upset, my husband asked what their problem was and he got an ear bashing too. They were so angry, I was shocked and tried explaining that we wanted to sit together as daughter was tired. Just wondered what others thought, the trip is off a cruise so all other passengers are older adults and some not very tolerant of children but I thought some would understand and remember having children of their own.

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Sirzy · 14/11/2018 17:43

I think generally people do tend to head for the same seats they sat in on the way out tbh.

Does it really matter if your not sat near your husband for a coach trip!?

randomsabreuse · 14/11/2018 17:46

It's not so much being near one's husband as maybe wanting moral support with a potentially grouchy child...

NotUmbongoUnchained · 14/11/2018 17:47

I think it’s kind of expected that you go back to your seat when you get back on the bus.

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notangelinajolie · 14/11/2018 17:51

Yes most people would expect to sit in the same seats. You and your daughter were sat together so there really was no need to go and sit somewhere else.

pinkhorse · 14/11/2018 17:53

People use the same seats on a return journey don't they? That's how it's always been when I've travelled. I'd have been annoyed if you'd sat in my seat on the return journey.

LoniceraJaponica · 14/11/2018 17:56

I agree that people expect to keep their seats. I don't understand why it was a problem for you to not sit with your husband though.

Ohyesiam · 14/11/2018 18:01

I wouldn’t think of sitting in the same seat on the way back. But then I’d give my seat up readily in this situation, it’s such an easy thing to do, why wouldn’t you? Life’s hard enough, we can all oil the cogs to make it go a little smother for each other surely?

Bouchie · 14/11/2018 18:03

If it was a trip with a big gap in the middle of the day I wouldn't expect to sit on the same seats. Why do you need to sit by your DH? When we go on trips we often are split up on planes etc and we take turns to look after the kids.

christmaaaas · 14/11/2018 18:04

I didn't know people got back in the same seats. And I've travelled a lot. I really feel for you OP. I went on a cruise with similar aged children and it was hell.

The other passengers were so horrible and rude. Never again

Runnynosehunny · 14/11/2018 18:09

I think its shocking that only one person volunteered to move so you could sit with your 3 year old.
And I agree a little moving round could have been arranged on the return journey so you could sit near your dh and still allow most people to keep their places. However I wouldn't complain about having to sit away from dh if it was a problem.
They sound a nasty group calling you ignorant anyway.

House4 · 14/11/2018 18:13

They sound uptight.
If they haven't booked a seat number then sit where you like!
I would have moved for you Halo.
And who would want their three year old sitting next to a stranger for an hour when they could just move Confused!

cestlavielife · 14/11/2018 18:19

Your daughter was sat next to a parent
You could have swapped half way with H. If she was too grouchy
That s all that was needed.

user1489179870 · 14/11/2018 18:22

Thank you Runnynose and House4, it seemed more that they didn’t want a child on the trip at all, she is so good too. It was a trip to the beach so we thought it would be full of families but she was the only one. All bar one lady ignored us, such a shame. DD was just so tired on the way back so just wanted moral support from hubby and share the lolling child with. This cruise is meant to be family friendly but it is anything but, the staff are amazing but the passengers seem to loathe children. First and last cruise I think x

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purplecorkheart · 14/11/2018 18:22

People do tend go back to the seats they had. Last bus tour I was on people nearly came to blows about it , admittedly one of the couples were very hot headed anyway. Driver told them that the peole who sat there on the way up should sit there on the way back.

SnuggyBuggy · 14/11/2018 18:23

Don't people usually leave stuff on their seats and expect to go back to them? You should have asked first I think.

Alilwolf · 14/11/2018 18:24

You all sound odd to be honest. Are you not capable of taking care of your child for a 1 hour bus journey?

Hwory · 14/11/2018 18:27

I get on coaches a couple of times a year.

There’s always families of 3 or 4 that run up at the last minute and are then shocked that they can’t sit together without begging the people that organised their time correctly to sit together to move.

ComeTheFuck0nBridget · 14/11/2018 18:28

I don't really understand the set up of this. Aren't the seats all in twos so the three of you would always be split up anyway? If your daughter was sat on your knee then it wouldn't matter. Or did you take the back seat? People can be very precious of the back seat Grin

although to be fair I do agree that it is generally expected of you to sit in the same seats both ways on this kind of thing

BlueJava · 14/11/2018 18:29

Ignore and put it down to their "wanderage"

user1489179870 · 14/11/2018 18:36

Hwory I promise we did nor rock up at the last minute, we were in the queue and early waiting for the trip when DD announced need off a number two, not great timing so we ran off back to the loo. All had got on the bus whilst we were away. We sat on the bus as a two and one across the aisle. There were lots of others who moved too, it was a bit of a farce to be honest. Some people in wheelchairs had moved to the front seats so those people moved back. I am just chalking it up for experience, bad timing for needing toilet DD but I agree we probably should have returned to original seats to save hassle.

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LoniceraJaponica · 14/11/2018 18:54

Couldn't your husband get on without you and save you seats?

SnuggyBuggy · 14/11/2018 18:56

To be fair saving seats can also be controversial

Wednesdaypig · 14/11/2018 19:02

But by you swapping seats on the way back it would mean other people were split up so they were just as annoyed as you were originally I expect.

Wednesdaypig · 14/11/2018 19:03

And one of you could've stayed in the queue, while the other one went to the toilet and saved all the angst.

BathFullOfEels · 14/11/2018 19:07

I don’t understand why it takes two parents to take a child to the loo and two parents to surround a tired child.