How to encourage a 4 year old to do their homework

[Cinnabunbun]

I'm feeling terrible after making my 4 yr old cry. They were supposed to have a try a writing some numbers (0 to 9) in their homework book. This is something she is more than capable of but she is really contrary sometimes and refuses to do the most simple things.

After 20 mins of wriggly acrobatics in her chair and doing silly scribbles over the pages while putting on a baby voice I snapped and told her off. I think I said something along the lines of "why are you making a mess instead of trying?" but in a shoutier voice than I should have. I know that I didn't handle it well.

How do you make them do their homework? I know 4 is very young and the homework is of course optional but she just stubbornly refuses to practice and it makes me so frustrated.

She's 4 ! Homework is ludicrous

Ask her to write you a story to include what she needs to be writing
Or a pretty picture with butterfly's or something with numbed on

Be creative, she is 4

Personally I'd have just let her carry on.

When she's finished ask her if she happy it's her best work and looking forward to handing it in?

I'd imagine at 4 she'll just say yes 😂😂

But seriously if she can write them and she wants to spend the time doing it badly let her - at some point she'll just do it as she'll care enough. You can't teach that - and forcing her will make her angrier and care less.

That's way too young for homework

I wouldn’t and didn’t. Although I often used to get an approximation of the homework into school stick in the homework book. So for 0 to 9 my kids would have loved to write down a list of things we had, 0 dragons, 1 Dad, 2 cats, 3 socks, 4 grey hairs on mummy’s head, 5 ... They wouldn’t even look at their homework books though.

I

One of mine would happily have sat and done that at 4 the other struggles sometimes at 9 despite being old enough to know better. Both achieve well academically - no wonder kids are suffering with stress!!

Why is she doing homework. Our sons school is regularly rated in the top ten in the country. They don’t get homework at that age. Surely it’s completely unnecessary?

I never made them do homework at primary if they didn't want to. None of their teachers ever made a fuss, I told them I wouldn't be making them.

Sometimes they did it if it was something that interested them. Most of the time they didn't want to. They all did reading at home, and that's all I was prepared to make them do.

I hate all the pressure on kids at such a young age.

I really don't think it's a big problem to ask a reception age child to write 9 numbers over the course of a week. I find lots of fun ways to help her learn when we are out and about but when it comes to ever putting pen to paper (or chalk to board, or stick to sand, or any other fun way I've been trying to get her to practice her mark making) she just flat refuses or acts out in a defensive way.

She is enthusiastic with reading, duplo, anything 3D. When it comes to any kind of writing or drawing she just refuses. Should I just pretend that I don't care at all and try to be more take it or leave it?

Other kids her age seem to love colouring, drawing and trying to write. I know she feels frustrated that the kind of things she produces are very rough compared to her friends. The longer she refuses for, the bigger the difference gets.

She’s four.
She’ll have homework to do for the next fourteen years.
Just let her do what she enjoys at the moment, whilst you still have the chance!
My DC’s primary is very laid back about homework and I love them for it.

Don’t make her write or draw if she doesn’t want to. It’ll come. It will all come.

Don’t think about what her peers are doing, and encourage her to concentrate on her own strengths. She likes reading? Spend the time reading together instead.

Don’t put yourself through this. It’s madness.

I’d probably not worry about it. I very rarely draw and my only writing is lists. DD does a mean list!

If you do want to try again you could get some special pencils and paper for you. Use it for shopping lists or anything you’d usually write. Then ask if she’d like some of the special paper.

my 4 year old started school in september and if he doesn’t want to do his homework i don’t make him. i think 4 is way too young for homework anyway!

I don’t think it’s a problem to ask a 4 year old to do homework, but I think it is counterproductive to insist on it.

My best way of getting my 5 year old to do his writing practice is to trick him into it! Getting him to write lists for Santa, a quiz for his dad etc.

Four is very young to be doing homework. I don’t think that children should do homework at all. They should be able to learn all they need to know at school. I don’t bring my work home. I don’t see why DC should either.

I'm a retired Reception teacher and I strongly believe 4 year olds shouldn't have homework except to read and be read to. Don't force him to do homework.

I don't think 4 year olds need homework. However if you have asked her to do something you know she is capable of doing, and she has chosen to piss about for 20 minutes being annoying instead, then it is not unreasonable to snap at her, so I wouldn't worry about that.

Why is a four year old doing any homework? You’re running the risk of ruining their enthusiasm for learning. Homework can wait until they are 11+.

I got one of these timers for ds and he loves it

I set about 4 minutes and we do what ever task he has to do. He knows he is almost finished when it goes to Amber and can go and play when it gets to red.

He is so excited to see the colour change that he will plough through the task

Making her do homework at 4 yo is really counter productive. All you are doing is putting her off learning.

He's you really shouldn't be forcing the pen to paper.

If she's not even wanting to do stick to sand etc she ain't ready for holding an object and mark making.

Let her play with her finger in sand, rice, custard or whatever. When she starts to make meaningful marks that way she'll be ready! 4yo is too young to force writing - some physically aren't ready.

You've answered yourself in the opening post

I know 4 is very young and the homework is of course optional

just don't do it...

My 4yo started Reception in September too. Their only homework is reading, same as her sister in year 2 (for now). It's one of the things we loved about the school. I cannot imagine getting worked up over this, I'd honestly try to relax about it, don't make her hate it. I don't even know what other 4yo's writing looks like, I wouldn't get into comparison!

She's 4 ! Homework is ludicrous. Ask her to write you a story to include what she needs to be writing

This is the most Mumsnet response ever--four-year-olds are too young to be doing homework, but somehow are assumed to be capable of writing paragraphs of text to form a story.

You say that the homework is optional - but you made her cry over it. Time to cut out this nonsense. Read to her , give her some pencils and let her do what she likes with them. Give her a break or she'll end up hating school .