How to encourage a 4 year old to do their homework

[Cinnabunbun]

I'm feeling terrible after making my 4 yr old cry. They were supposed to have a try a writing some numbers (0 to 9) in their homework book. This is something she is more than capable of but she is really contrary sometimes and refuses to do the most simple things.

After 20 mins of wriggly acrobatics in her chair and doing silly scribbles over the pages while putting on a baby voice I snapped and told her off. I think I said something along the lines of "why are you making a mess instead of trying?" but in a shoutier voice than I should have. I know that I didn't handle it well.

How do you make them do their homework? I know 4 is very young and the homework is of course optional but she just stubbornly refuses to practice and it makes me so frustrated.

As someone who deeply regrets how much pressure I put on my first born (and his resulting teenage anxiety is testament to that fact), do not make your 4 year old cry about homework! It’s irrelevant.

I wouldn't even try to make a 4 year old do homework.
If they wanted to try a bit of writing for fun I would encourage them, but make a big deal out of it? Totally counterproductive.

I agree. 4's too young for homework, and it's totally counter productive if it's making her cry. If you're really worried try making the numbers out of plasticine IF she enjoys that. Or watch Numberblocks.
If you don't want to stress through the rest of her school life never judge her against what other children are doing.

I hate making my 4 year old do homework. It's far too young. I'm also irritated because I asked all the schools we visited if they set homework. This one said no. We've had it from the first week. There is no benefit to it at such an early stage and they need down time.

You're getting yourself really wound up about your DD falling 'behind' in this one aspect of her learning, so it's becoming a much, much bigger deal than it needs to be. If she's enthusiastic about other things, what does that tell you? Maybe that she knows this is hard, she's not 'good' at it, therefore that she doesn't want to do it?

Never sit for more than 5 minutes - if she doesn't do it within that time then she's not going to do it. It doesn't matter at this point in her development, it really, really doesn't.

Thank you. Lots of advice here. I'm going to try the 4-5 minutes only of sitting down and not give any hint of pressure on her to actually complete the tasks set.

It bugs me that so many of the tips are ways of tricking her into doing some practice rather than being honest with her about what is expected. She is my eldest so I hold my hands up if I'm just totally naive about these things, but is this generally how parents get kids to do stuff?

It's pathetic that I've got myself stressed and made my 4 year old cry in what is essentially a battle of wills. I need to really reflect on this

She's refusing because she's 4 and she is worried that what she's doing isnt good enough.

My DD is the same with homework and I think it depends on your personal view on homework.

For me, it's important at all ages. What's the point in learning these things at school and not encouraging them at home.

I make my Dd sit there and do her homework whether it takes 5 mins or an hour.

The first few weeks were awful but now after half term, she willingly came over and asked if she could do it.

You just need to decide that if it's important to you that she does it, treat you carry on making sure she does it

Doing the actual homework is usually fine, it's the layer upon layer of expectation from parents that make it a shit experience. I wonder if schools realise that they are doing this.

why is it important for a four year old to do homework snobbymiddleclassone ?
you can reinforce classroom learning without formal homework.

I would say reading together is more important than being forced to sit at a table for a hour to do homework.

What's the point in learning these things at school and not encouraging them at home.

For us, we'd rather learn other things at home rather than go over boring grammar and repetitive maths (at least that's what gets handed out at our primary). Playing, reading, drawing - are all more important. I've never made either of mine do their homework! By Y5/6 DS1 tended to just get on with it because of the expectation and the competitive angle. DS2 hasn't got that point yet.