How to get baby to fall asleep by their selves

[CJ1990]

My daughters nearly 9 weeks and will only go to sleep if rocked / soothed. She also won’t nap in the day unless out in the pram / car seat..

In the next few weeks I’m hoping to try and start breaking this habit so I can just put her in the cot etc..

My question is when is an ok age to start this? And have scheduled nap times in the day? I’ve Also no idea how to break this rocking cycle!

Thank you :)

I started from day one tbh. Lots of shushing and patting and sitting next to them with a hand on their tummy.
Two of my 4 didn't like to be cuddled to sleep anyway and needed to kind of whinge themselves to sleep. Not crying but kind of grizzling.

I use a dummy during the day @CJ1990. DD is 14 weeks. She doesn't need it at night, and her day sleep is still hit and miss, but it has definitely improved with the dummy. I also only put her down when I know she is tired. This is generally after 2 hours of awake time (and she gets grumpy too!).

Sling in the day, co sleep at night. Its the 4th trimester.

We did it for 3 years as I like my sleep.

I started from a couple of weeks old. What helped us-

Swaddle for all sleeps
Sleepyhead
Dummy
White noise
Me next to her patting her chest

Gradually weaned off the chest patting over the months, and stopped swaddling at 5 months. Was sleeping through the night and in her next to me cot for naps by 9 weeks old.

She still sleeps like a trooper at 17 months old (still has dummy and white noise). The other day the dog was barking like crazy and woke her up from her nap. I watched her on the monitor sit up, say ‘ssshhh!’ then lay down and go back to sleep!

It's totally normal for them to not settle by themselves. It's the 4th trimester. This explains why they might have trouble at such a young age.. please don't rush them out of it.

I'd say at 9 weeks it's totally normal.

DD is 15 weeks and just starting to settle herself to sleep now, she's does it at bedtime without fuss but we're still rocking for most naps. She did the bedtime settling herself though, I didn't 'train' her as such.

She's far too young! Just go with the flow. The chances are it will sort change as she grows. At this age she has no wants that aren't also needs.

Thank you :) I know she’s a bit young at the moment, I’m more pre-empting things I guess! Just been sat here wondering how I’ll do it when the time comes. I’m only small, and she’s quite a long lady! So it’ll be physically impossible for me to be rocking her for months. I’m already getting bad pains in my wrists from constantly picking her up / down for changes etc! X

Not relevant to sleep- but I had incredibly painful wrists when did was a baby. I improved things a lot by always picking her up by the front of her babygro with one hand and supporting her head with the other. Sounds weird but really took the strain off my wrists.

Don’t do it with a babygro that poppers down the back, though!

We have always rocked/held DD to sleep. No at 2 and 1/2 we lay next to her and give her relaxing tickles or ignore her. She was on the 99.8% for height at 1. If you cosleep in a ‘floor bed’ it is fine. For the last 8 months she has been in her own big girl bed so we just hop in with her.

Scheduled nap and feed times worked for us.
Feed till asleep.
Dummy.
Carry upstairs to cot.
Dark room absolutely no light, noise or stimulation.

Wait 12 months then come back to us.

Have a look at www.isisonline.org.uk to see evidence based information about infant sleep.

I had to use wrist supports a few times early on because I have bad wrists. Once I started lifting weights again it became much easier to pick her up.

I don't feel like we were able to do sleep training until after her sleep regression at 4.5 months. Now she has a fairly set routine.

9 weeks is a bit young to start thinking about routine that's not baby led. After 3 months you'll see a pattern start to emerge anyhow with slightly more predictable naps -- usually 2-3 a day though until baby is much older.

Regarding rocking-- just let baby grizzle not cry to self settle if you want to give it a go. Try to put her down just before she would drop off and then put her down increasingly awake as she gets use to self settling. I wouldn't bother with white noise or dummies unless you had to as its not always necessary. Also, no need to start this so young but you can.

Babies grow up very fast so you'll soon miss the newborn cuddles and rocking!

Have a look at www.isisonline.org.uk to see evidence based information about infant sleep.

Actually, I would question that isisonline provides full evidence based information. Their research links, for instance, leave out the most comprehensive study on SIDS available so far - Carpenter 2013 (the reason is that isisonine does not like its conclusions). They also overemphasise a very poor piece of research on perceived consequences of sleep training - Middlemiss 2012 - without even hinting at its flaws. They have a strong bias towards attachment parenting (which is fine - as long as they do not try to position themselves as objective and independent).

I personally prefer the following resource:

www.babysleepscience.com/resource-blog

I haven’t read the thread but check out the book by the millpond clinic. We eventually ended up buying v expensive consultation from here after two years with our troublesome sleeper and since have bought their book as a gift for new mums. I wish I’d had their advice early to prevent our sleep dep for so long- maybe it doesn’t work for everyone- nothings that easy- but it was the only thing that worked for us- and it was structured but loving and gentle

I did the shush & pat method with both of my babies. Started at 9 - 10 weeks, they were both self settling by 12 weeks.

My baby is 6 months and has never self settled but I’m fine with that, he’s a happy healthy baby and I’m (currently) getting enough sleep!

My DD has a bit of reflux I think so I’ve got her the wedge hog to go in her Moses basket. She is much more comfortable now. I’ve also succumbed and have given her a dummy, it does really soothe her when she doesn’t want a feed. My final tip would be white noise, you can play this from YouTube, or, I’ve bought Ollie owl which really settles her.

I used a wind up swing when desperate - they were unable to resist the motion and it really helped not having to lug them around for a few precious minutes.

Scheduled nap and feed times worked for us.
Feed till asleep.
Dummy.
Carry upstairs to cot.
Dark room absolutely no light, noise or stimulation.

This - have a routine and they shouldn't need to be rocked/shusshed to sleep. I have no idea how people find the time to do this every evening/nap time!

Did routine from day one and never had a problem with putting mine down for naps or night time. Obviously they were cuddled and kissed etc. but once they were settled in their sleeping bag & had been fed they would drift off.

MN seems to hate the idea of a routine - no idea why. It works and babies, like children, enjoy a routine.

I had the painful wrists, so I sympathise. Agony. Did go eventually. Wrist supports were a great help.

17 years ago (IE before the world seemed to view her as the devil incarnate!) after sleep deprivation had led my now EXH to genuinely developing serious MH issues, I bit the bullet and thought I would just try the Gina Ford book for 3 days with DS2....

I was as to my utter disbelief it worked. I really struggled with letting the baby cry but just as I was about to throw the towel in he suddenly just fell into this magical routine and sleeping through the night. He also seemed to be much much happier and - including his naps - actually had more sleep overall than had previously.

Should add, he's now a very well balanced kid with great attachment so clearly it did him no harm!!

DS spent the first few weeks of his life in the NICU and when I brought him home I continued the routine of feed, cuddle, swaddle and into his cot half awake with a dummy. White noise and goodbye from mum. During the sleep regression he cried a bit and I just left him, provided it was more whining versus hysterical crying. He's an excellent napper and slept eight to nine hours in one stretch from about 2 months on.

I often sang to mine, ditto Gdcs, once they were in the cot. Often 'little X-name, go to sleep,' sung over and over to the tune of the Rocking carol. (Little Jesus sweetly sleep...) Apparently monotonous enough to send them off!

Classic FM on low has also worked several times with Gds, who I was told would only sleep if pushed around the streets in pushchair. Since it was wet the first time, I just left him in the pushchair with Classic on low - Elgar's Cello Concerto worked magic in a few minutes - without even any grizzling!