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Parenting

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Original poster

DP said something strange...

53 replies

Sj76201 · 13/10/2018 16:54

Recently my DP and I have been speaking about how a lot of people we know with kids are not together anymore and although we have had a lot of bad points in our relationship we are trying to work through them..

Anyways.. today in the car our DD is 2 and was playing up loads and screaming. DP has got “man flu” and is in a bad mood and shouted to DD that it’s stuff like that (meaning her crying) that makes people split up

Is that a strange comment to make because ur child is crying?!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sourpatchkid · 13/10/2018 17:16

It's horrible is what it is. She's young but it keeps saying that shit he's going to mess up her mental health.

TwoGinScentedTears · 13/10/2018 17:17

Strange, no. Nasty and weird, yes.

AtrociousCircumstance · 13/10/2018 17:19

Fucking evil. To put that responsibility and guilt on a tiny child. And to be so intolerant with her crying at all.

It’s things like that which makes people split up, not kids being g kids

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BiscuitDrama · 13/10/2018 17:23

As a slight aside, is he thinking it’s your fault she’s crying?

BiscuitDrama · 13/10/2018 17:24

Or did he mean ‘leave their fmaily’ rather than ‘split up’.

Original poster

Sj76201 · 13/10/2018 17:42

No he meant split up... I looked at him and said what?? And he just ignored me

I shouldn’t be defending him but in his defence she was screaming so loud there’s a tiny possibility she would have actually heard him... and he never shouts at our children which makes it even more strange that he has shouted, and said those words

OP posts:

Observatorycrest · 13/10/2018 17:47

What a truly dreadful comment for your DP to make. Why would a child screaming cause two parents to break up? Stop excusing his abusive behaviour. That’s what it is, poor child having to listen to her dad making her feel responsible for your relationship.

QuaterMiss · 13/10/2018 17:47

Recently my DP and I have been speaking about how a lot of people we know with kids are not together anymore ...

Why have you been having these conversations? Who instigated them? Something about this is ... unsettling.

converseandjeans · 13/10/2018 17:51

What he is saying is that blokes choose to walk away from their families because it's hard work. Not a great attitude. Wonder what these blokes think it's like for a single parent?!
It doesn't sound like a great sign - but as you say he has man flu and is feeling a bit worn out.

Awrite · 13/10/2018 17:54

Christ, at the absolute end of my tether, I may have thought that but say it, let alone say to my children is a complete no-no.

IStandWithPosie · 13/10/2018 17:58

He’s already mentally left you OP, he’s just not had the guts to physically leave yet. There is very probably someone else. Don’t be surprised if he starts picking fights over ridiculous things and walking out a lot. And accusing you of cheating.

Clutterbugsmum · 13/10/2018 18:03

You should have told him 'grown' men behaving like a child because they have a cold split up more relationships then a '2 yr old' crying.

Original poster

Sj76201 · 13/10/2018 18:03

It’s DP that brings it up to be honest.. about the amount of couples with children splitting up. He says it’s horrible to see but maybe he’s trying to cover up how he is feeling?

I have saw Snapchats on his phone from an ex girlfriend he had 9 years ago, he never replies to them but still..

OP posts:

QuaterMiss · 13/10/2018 18:15

Well, only you can judge his tone of voice and general behaviour ...

It’s your real life so I don’t want to seem flippant but - quite frankly what you’ve described sounds as if he is laying the groundwork for leaving - and blaming family life for it. While all the while having a new plan in place already. He’s preparing you for what he’s going to do.

I hope I’m wrong, of course.

IStandWithPosie · 13/10/2018 18:20

What do her snapchats say?

Oddcat · 13/10/2018 18:23

Sounds like he’s ‘paving the way’ imo.

Original poster

Sj76201 · 13/10/2018 18:25

Quatermiss... I hope you are wrong too, however it does sound like he may be working up to something by dropping not so subtle hints

Yesterday she sent him 3 photos which I obviously couldn’t see and the day before I saw a chat that he had stupidly saved saying “what’s that your studying? Busy busy are you?” Hmm

OP posts:

Shockers · 13/10/2018 18:28

If he doesn’t respond, how does she know he’s studying?

I don’t know anything about snapchat; is it like fb where you post and friends respond?

IStandWithPosie · 13/10/2018 18:40

If he’s saved the chat then he wants to keep it for a reason.

ohamIreally · 13/10/2018 19:04

Yes I think he's had enough of family life. In his version of "splitting up" you'll be looking after the kids whilst he pursues a new life and is Disney Dad occasionally.

I'm reading a book mentioned by someone on here called Sunburn where the woman realises her DH is preparing to leave her and leaves him first with the kid.

Original poster

Sj76201 · 13/10/2018 19:13

Sorry should have said.. the chat that he had said about the studying was from a couple days ago, so she had sent him a photo and he had messaged her. It was the following day I saw 3 pictures had been sent. I’ve just went and looked just now and there is one unopened from her I can’t bring myself to open it.

Ohamireally - I will look in to this, thank you

OP posts:

IStandWithPosie · 13/10/2018 19:15

So he is replying. They’re in daily contact with each other. Do you know when that started? When did his odd conversations about splitting up start?

BitOutOfPractice · 13/10/2018 19:21

Oh lord that is a really vile thing to say.

Original poster

Sj76201 · 13/10/2018 19:23

I have no idea. We have been together 8 years and this woman has always been abit of a problem. In the beginning she wouldn’t stop messaging him, throughout the years she has followed him on Instagram, added him on Facebook etc.

Probably started last year. He done something pretty unforgivable which I forgave. He didn’t cheat physically, mentally and emotionally he did. I felt like I was finally getting over what he done, and the past couple of weeks I have found things I don’t want to find

OP posts:

MorningCuppa · 13/10/2018 19:25

He probably is replying but neither of them are saving what he writes! You have to save it or it disappears.

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