Are holidays/weekend breaks really worth doing if you are the one organising everything and everyone??? ((RANT))

[oliveoil]

Because I spent the day before sorting out a list of clothes, specific teddies, creams, pots and potions, food, yadda yadda etc etc yawwwwwwwn. And the evening packing it.

Then I sort out the bribes and stuff for the journey ("I'm bored/are we there yet?/dd1 has called me poo poo/dd2 has poked me in the eye") so the 3 hours are kind of tolerable.

Then when we get there I put everything away whilst everyone else runs around in the sun.

Then we get to the beach and I set up, suncream the children etc

Then I sort out the picnic.

ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC

And then dh wonders why I am tired and irritable when we get back and don't particulary WANT to make shell pictures with glue which will just create mess and I can't be ARSED.

He did the cooking and played with them, but only because I was SORTING THINGS OUT.

So.

Why are we always the organisers? Why can't someone else remember the wipes?

RANT

Been there, done that, for 18 years - still dong it.......You have my sympathy. My drean holiday would be me, in the garden, by myself, with a bottle of chilled white wine and a novel.

I do love them all - honestly - but I am always so exhausted by the time we actually get to our destination, that I am usually ill for at least the first half of the holiday.

18 years??????

so it will not improve?????

thing is, if I left it to dh, we would arrive with 15 CD's, 1 t-shirt and 6 pairs of socks

so I HAVE to do it

and resent it

18 years

I too hate the holiday preparation, but must admit it is easier now that my DDs are 13 and 10. I spend quite a lot of time in the spare bedroom barking instructions to them to fetch various items for me. Also, they are past the stage where going on holiday without a specific item, eg eeyore, would mean a fortnight of misery for the rest of us!

DH tends to keep out of my way until I announce that packing is complete. He used to come home from work and say oh it's so good to be on holiday, let's go to the pub for dinner! WTF on packing night

mine are 2 and 4 and we NEED woowoo and puppydog

Anyone else?

I want to moan!

Oh yes I feel that way when we go anywhere - especially the dreaded camping.

I have to pack up the whole mobile circus and do it all in a field instead...it's like a MASH unit on execise.

Last time we went (Bank Holiday weekend when it rained in bilblical quantities for good measure) I forgot clean underwear for ds and he had to wear dd's - he was not amused.

"Why can't someone else remember the wipes?" These words go through me like a dagger.

I propose a MN heraldic crest: two pots of Soft Stuff flanked by slices of lemon drizzle, with a Croc rampant in the foreground, and, emblazoned beneath (in gold leaf) the motto, "Why can't someone else remember the wipes?"

Yes I have a fair amount of this. It's like when you go out for the day but magnified. DH is wondering why I am not ready. "It is because during the time you spent getting ready I got your two children ready and made the picnic".

We went to Windsor at half term. I sorted out all the packing etc (managed to forget DD's bear, but also managed to persuade her that Baby Isaac - dirty blue doll - would do instead), got bribes for the journey etc, made sandwiches, then when we got there DH just lay on the bed while I unpacked everything complaining about how tired he was because he had done all the driving. Er, hello, I am quite happy to drive, it is you that does not like having to reach in the back to retrieve lost toys/sweets/sunglasses every two minutes and join in with Baa baa black sheep in between times.

Is this the sort of thing you mean?

No they're not. Unless you are packing the rest of the family off and having the house to yourself for the weekend. Or alternatively you are the only one going. Specially camping.

We're off camping in a few weeks and whilst I know I will have a good time, I will spend half a day getting the stuff out and another half a day cleaning and putting it all away again.

Every infintesimal thing is down to us to not only remember it in the first place, but wash it first, pack it, pack spares of it, and then un-pack it and wash it and start again.

I am the organiser because there is no one else to do it

One thing i hated when i was married was the 'expectation' that i would do it all. Now its a choice and i do it willingly and make sure that i enjoy it too.

oh goody, more posts

we decided to keep them up with us, so they were v excited at eating crips and going to bed at 10pm so to run off the excess (annoying) energy, we went for a walk on the beach in the evening and I naively thought, well we won't need to bring the kitchen sink

cue dh saying when everyone was full of sand "did you not bring the wipes?"

FGS

bakedpotato - agree. I did actually screech that at the top of my voice "Why can't someone else remember the wipes?"

And then you get back and everyone cheerily says 'did you have a relaxing break?'

MIL did this when we got back from the terrible camping. She made the mistake of arriving unannounced 20 mins after we'd just got in and asked that little gem.

yes

we got back yesterday and went straight to the pub for lunch

got back to huge unpacking event

dh dumped it all in the hall and then said "god I am STUFFED" and sat down

I sorted out washing, set it off (it was sunny and I wanted it out), put teddies back, etc etc

and then he said "when are you going to sit down, the girls want to make shell pics?"

SHELL PICS? SHELL PICS? you can shove the shells where the sun don't shine

farking shell pics

I'll happily join in. We recently did a two week trip to Cyprus and DH complained we took far too much stuff. As it turned out a small amount did come back unworn and we did forget to give the wedding card to the happy couple but who had to remember to buy the card in the first place.
(On the subject of which have you ever tried buying a mothers day card for your MIL? (ery difficult when she likes flowery cards and I'm inclined to say as little as possible to her)
They say that men are only pathetic because we let them be. However, as we have to deal with the fall out of having no wipes, its in our interest to do the packing.

so you need to sit down so the girls can do shell pictures, despite the fact that he is already sat down?

I print out a list of DH's share of the chores and let him crack on with it. And NO moaning about how he does it, even if it's not up to my standards or how I would have done it - not a peep of complaint.

DD1 is also pressed into service - she'll be 4 next week.

She has to tidy up first, THEN playtime.

Yes, I still do the bulk of the sorting - we're leaving for a week on Saturday - but I don't mind because just getting out of here is enough incentive for me!

We came back once from one holiday and I had 15 big black bin liners of washing.

It was when the dc were still toddlers/babies and were going through 10 tops and bottoms a day. God that was depressing.

bozza - he wanted us to all sit down together like the friggin Waltons or something

actually no dh, I have spent 72 hours CONSTANTLY in their company this weekend and would rather put toothpaste back on the bathroom shelf

Hi Oliveoil
I know where you are coming from. DH isn't very good at planning preparing social/family events. I have been trying to train him! Unfortunately, the task of remembering everything that needs doing remains down to me. But things run more smoothly if I give him a list of things he is responsbile for before we go. Depending on the nature of the trip, sometimes it is just keeping the kids from under my feet so I can get on! I also tell him about 10 minutes before we arrive home: you need to do x, y and z. We have far less arguments and misunderstandings now.

otherside - he was responsible for the cd's and the phone charger. He had to be reminded about the charger!

We had a night away last weekend. Just the one but you'd think it was a year by the amt of stuff we took . Got back late afternoon on Sunday and obviously there were the lucnhboxes (for 4 of us) for Monday and uniforms and PE kits for the kids to get ready - not to mention unpacking and washing. Looked out of the window and saw the grass doing it's very best to be as high as an elephants eye and as i thought it was likely to rain soon, said to DH (hopefully) " could you move the trampoline so I can cut the grass". He said "you don't have to do that, I'll do it" in his best stop-acting-like-you're-a-single-parent-FFS manner. He was opening a beer at the time which should have given me a fairly good idea of how accurate that statement was

DH asked me if we needed a top-box for the car this year? I said no, that's just more stuff to pack/unpack. I'm a minimalist packer. I can get the five of us away for a long weekend with two hand luggage sized backpacks .

Ohhh - I can sympathise. We're off camping in France in about 5 weeks time and I have already written a geeky-list and commanded a trial pack-up of the car.

But I was worried not everything would fit in and that DH would suggest we leave behind toys, towels, extra shoes, torches, wet wipes, conditioner.... and anything else that a man used to packing one pair of undies and a small tent for a cycle tour trip would deam non-essential.

So yes, packing for holidays, weekends away, daytrips out and visits to family all falls on my shoulders.

A few Sundays ago we went to a Christening, followed by a celebration in the garden of the family holding the christening. DH, the girls and I all arrived at the same time but he quickly disappeared. My first thoughts were to get suncream on the children, ensure they wore their hats, get them drinks and some food from the buffet, check out the garden was safe for them to be let loose. DH's first thought, evidently, was to get himself a beer

He's very hands-on and domesticated (and sorry OO - he does help to unpack when we get home) but I can't leave packing to him else I end up suffering.