Are holidays/weekend breaks really worth doing if you are the one organising everything and everyone??? ((RANT))

[oliveoil]

Because I spent the day before sorting out a list of clothes, specific teddies, creams, pots and potions, food, yadda yadda etc etc yawwwwwwwn. And the evening packing it.

Then I sort out the bribes and stuff for the journey ("I'm bored/are we there yet?/dd1 has called me poo poo/dd2 has poked me in the eye") so the 3 hours are kind of tolerable.

Then when we get there I put everything away whilst everyone else runs around in the sun.

Then we get to the beach and I set up, suncream the children etc

Then I sort out the picnic.

ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC

And then dh wonders why I am tired and irritable when we get back and don't particulary WANT to make shell pictures with glue which will just create mess and I can't be ARSED.

He did the cooking and played with them, but only because I was SORTING THINGS OUT.

So.

Why are we always the organisers? Why can't someone else remember the wipes?

RANT

RR - Your houshold appears to mirror mine. We did the trial pack-up last night and I told DH in an exasperated tone of voice to humour me and allow me to write my geek-list. We'd all be thankful for it when we have a smooth holiday.

It's not just the packing that gets to me.

It's the fact that your day is just the same as the one you have at home - just that the surroundings aren't as child-friendly and therefore the basics are harder (generally) to accomplish. You still get them up, breakfasted, dressed, entertained, lunched, napped, entertained, teaed, bathed, storied and into bed.

If you go to the beach or a zoo or whatever you have to pack for the whole day - whereas at home you only go out for short forays so not too onerous.

And when you get home you have a mountain of washing and unpacking to sort whilst your day continues to grind on - so you end up being really tired for a week or so after (just as you were at the start of your "holiday").

Meanwhile everyone else goes on about how great it is "to have a break".

oh god, yes to the last post

grrrrrrr

I have a typed out list RR, all in neat columns in my excel file [saddo]

I totally empathise with everything on this post. I asked DH to do ONE thing for this holiday, book the darned currency, can't be that hard surely.

Then I was saying so it will be at XX airport when we are ready to go, ah says DH XX airport not YY airport and tears off frantically to make phone call.

Then he wonders why I do everything myself and moan about the responsibility. Strangely before we had DS I seem to remember him being more capable and organised, I think now I have become a "mum" it must be my (unwritten, unpaid and thankless) job.

I ordered & collected the currency / travellers cheques for our hols this year, which of course meant I signed all the TCs. When it came time to cash them, I had to go to the bank - which meant DP was in charge of DD. So he said "Or we could just use the credit card to pay instead"!! One half hour out of two weeks, that was all I asked.

Oh yes and another comment from DH about our forthcoming holiday.

Bear in mind we are travelling to US with 14mth old and no seat for him, we are doing city break and some driving around, we are staying at a number of hotels and visiting relatives all with aforementioned delightful but draining 14mth old.

DH says "Can't wait to get on holiday and RELAX"

Now maybe its just me but at no point did I think we would get much of a chance to relax in our holiday although it would be a change of scene. Oh no wait a minute it is just me, because I'll be the one not relaxing.

Sitting here like a nodding dog - Ruby Rioja you summed it all up perfectly! At least when I'm going thru that myself in 5 weeks time I can take comfort in knowing we're all going thru it...

"relax" ? rookiemum. LOL!

Ah I'll be chuckling about that all evening....

why can't someone else remember the farking wipes, indeed?

since half term I'm on a bit of a go-slow. so for the first time ever, dd1 went to school without her PE kit (still hasn't been found ) and couldn't do PE. she sulked. because they did rounders, which she fancied.

I told dh it was now His Job.

Tee hee!

We ALWAYS have the pre-holiday argument of "you're taking far too much, it'll never fit in the car" "OK bright spark what doesn't go then" and then it's ME that packs the car to make it all fit (as well as everything else).

We once went away for the weekend and I tried to leave some of it to dh. He forgot the buggy (and dd wasn't even walking).

We went to the beach for the day and I delegated the picnic to him. He forgot to take ANYTHING for dd.

We went camping and the ONLY thing I asked him to do was check the torches and take batteries. He didn't manage either.

You win Surfermum, you have made my DH look ultra competent, although he never,never remembers the wipes, he once forgot the nappies as well and had to accost random mums who had babies the same size as ours.

But no he would not forget the BUGGY. Its big, its unwieldy, and without it there is nowhere for DS to sit.

"you gradually become a 'mummy' to your DH "

it's sad isn't it? Funnily enough, the other day DH asked me where the antihistamines were.... we didn't have any.

he's the one who suffers with hayfever every June. I never use them. Why would he think that it's my job to buy them. Somewhere in the past 4 years the purchasing of first aid kit has become my responsibility. I did set him straight. But I doubt he has made time to buy any... in yet he was quite capable of looking after himself for 32 years.

Can't quite get off this thread, its really struck a nerve. We NEED Bakedpotatoes heraldic crest emblazoned on our jumpers and shoes.

When we park at the cinema Dh gives me the ticket to look after. I told him that when I go swimming with my friend she looks after it. He sighs contentedly and goes "Hmmm isn't it great when you've got a MUM with you to look after everything !

Ladies I rest my case.

Ditto everything ekra said, except I'm not organized enough (or getting enough sleep) to have a geek list, and I want one.

Don't suppose you'd sell me a copy of yours, would you, ekra?

in response to the OP no,not really, they're not. but then we remember how useless most men are at organising, realising what is needed for family life and just get on and do it. but that is why i insist i am a SAHM as i do not know how i would fit in everything with the (wonderful) DH i have and go to work as there's not enough hours in the day now.

When he forgot the torches I stood in the middle of the field screeching "ONE THING, ONE THING! That's all you had to do to get us here".

And I didn't add the Christmas when we went away and he forgot to take dd's formula . My sister works in a hospital and managed to get some from there. Boy was he in trouble.

Elibean - RR's is on Excel, a little more geeky than mine, try her

My list was scribbled as DH unpacked everything from the car, so in reverse order, it tells you how best to successfully pack camping gear into a family saloon. Would that be useful?

Ooohhh, I could have written all the posts on this thread just about!!

Love my lovely husband but he is crap at doing any sort of bag for the kids. Actually he never does one. What gets on my wick is when we are out somewhere and he says 'did we remember to bring teddy/suncream/snacks/the children?' and I sigh and say in my sarcastic nag's tone 'yes WE did'.

Does anyone ever wonder how their fella manages to hold down a job considerering what utter organisational numpties they seem to be?!

Only read your OP oo but why do you let him do this? I just refuse, dh HAS to get involved and is as responsible as I am for remembering all this stuff.

Now have skimmed the thread, are you all married to children? Why do you all do this stuff? MAKE THEM DO IT TOO otherwise you will forever be the person who has to remember the wipes. Last time we went away my children did their own packing of clothes and toys - I don't care what they wear at the best of times and certainly not on holiday and dh did his and I did mine. Sorted.

And my view is with most things if you forget it it's not the end of the world is it? Nappies, food, whatever, you can always buy it if you forget it.

Do you know what. I think that coming home is worse. Espcially if you've been somewhere near the sea. Everything is covered in sand and most things are a little bit damp. Car is full of sand, cases are full of sand, every pair of shoes seems to be more or less sandy. And there are bits of drift wood, disintergrating crab shells and endless sea shells floating around. So that everything needs washing before it can be put away - even things that haven't actually been used or that it have been washed while you were away. And because you are in a hurry to get away, stuff just gets chucked in in a messy heap. The car won't be the same until it's been given a good thorough clean - which never happens. I dread the moment that the car pulls into our street and I know I'll have to start on it all.....

www - would you expect a 4yr old to pack for himself? I'm not sure if DS#2 could really wear nothing but plastic dinosaurs and teddy bears for an entire week