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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Would you regularly straighten a 7 year olds hair ?

32 replies

bloopitybloop · 21/09/2018 19:58

My 7 year old DD has really curly and really frizzy hair. It looks lovely when left loose but trying to get it in any kind of pony tail or tidy is a battle. Two plaits work the best But even then the front is a mass of curls and frizz.

We have figured out a routine but lately her hair seems to bother her - I should say at this point that she suffers from mild anxiety and worries a lot about what she thinks other think. She has been asking for her hair to be straightened so it doesn’t
Look “messy” -
I have only done it once before for her birthday party -Am worried doing it regularly will harm her lovely hair but at the same time
Don’t want her stressing about it so much.

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Original poster

bloopitybloop · 21/09/2018 19:59

Posed too soon ! Meant to ask
WWYD? I have really straight hair and I think she just wants that

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DaisyChain22 · 21/09/2018 19:59

No! I wish my mum had been stricter with me when I wanted to straighten my hair. I honestly feel like my hairs never been the same since Of course now I’m older I regret it a lot but loved the results at the time

DaisyChain22 · 21/09/2018 20:00

Have you thought about a Brazilian blow dry instead? I think the results last around 8 weeks so in the long run I’d imagine less damage than regular straightening

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JuniperBeer · 21/09/2018 20:01

No I wouldn’t.
Is it frizzy? Have you got some good conditioner/ little bit of serum?

Can you find photos of people she likes with similar hair. Or have a flip through a hair magazine to show how lots of people have different hair?
But some nice hair grips and clips and bobbles? Has it been cut to suit her?

BrazzleDazzleDay · 21/09/2018 20:01

I wouldn't do it regularly no, and I really dont think it's the answer. I'm not sure what is other than trying to encourage confidence in herself

TheRealHousewife · 21/09/2018 20:03

In a word, No!

She’s 7. Lovely virgin hair. Don’t damage it. You’re the adult, set appropriate boundaries about what is and is not allowed.

TheRealHousewife · 21/09/2018 20:04

Meant to add; Praise, praise and praise her some more about hows she is lovely as she is!

ladybee28 · 21/09/2018 20:07

Ah, this!

I have exactly the kind of hair you're describing, and as a kid I had a whole curly fringe type deal that stuck straight up. I could tame the back / tie it up but there was always these antennae that didn't want to behave.

I totally get how she must feel, especially when this hair type is more 'unusual' than she must see around her with her friends, but starting to regularly heat style would definitely damage her hair, and cement her sense that her curls are 'wrong' and need to be changed.

Not sure what you've tried already (sounds like you've tried plenty and so I don't want to state the obvious if you have) but do half-up-half-down styles not work for her? Can you use grips to twist the front part neatly back, or french braid it?

Before resorting to straighteners you could also try going to a salon that specialises in curly / textured hair and ask them to teach you both how to style it in fun / easy ways that don't require heat damage. Could be a fun learning experience for both of you and help her feel special rather than weird or messy, and start to learn to understand and love what she's got... ?

SellFridges · 21/09/2018 20:07

Does it help if you plait it when it’s wet?

DD is also seven and has lots of waves, especially around her face and it can be hard to get it to look neat. I straighten hers probably twice a month.

Thebluedog · 21/09/2018 20:08

Once in a blue moon I straighten my dds hair (10)

123bananas · 21/09/2018 20:09

No I wouldn't, very damaging to the hair. My girls are mixed race and have curly afro hair. We use black hair care products which moisturise and prevent frizz and a styling gel for the front with a smoothing brush to keep it under control. Also wash less often or use conditioner only to wash if more regularly, combing through with a wide tooth comb to reduce frizz.

ElspethFlashman · 21/09/2018 20:09

You need to add product, not straighten it. I'm no expert but I flow a few people on Instagram who educate about maintaining healthy Afro hair in kids like Tola Okogwu for example, and the big message is moisture. Moisturised hair isn't frizzy. So there's always a leave in conditioner, and an oil or a serum, and moisturising in between washes etc, and it makes it much easier to style.

SavoyCabbage · 21/09/2018 20:13

No.

Read up on the curly girl method. It’s made a huge difference to my dd’s hair.

My dd
Wears a sleep bonnet (amazon or ebay)
Sleeps in coconut oil once a week
Uses Tresseme botanical (with a coconut on the bottle)

thismummydrinksgin · 21/09/2018 20:26

I do!! Lol she asks and so I do it . Looks lovey when it's done. I did think about buying straighteners I could turn temp down on. Always careful to move them when they are hot and not leave her in the room with them.

Original poster

bloopitybloop · 21/09/2018 20:29

Thanks all - I really didn’t want to
Mess with her hair so am going to continue sticking to my guns.

We do use products and she bas lots of hair which I am sure she will learn to love when she is older. - she loved it when she was younger so I will hope it’s just a phase

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Original poster

bloopitybloop · 21/09/2018 20:31

@123bananas I have using Afro
Kids products for her as well and it’s made such a difference !

OP posts:

ladybee28 · 21/09/2018 20:32

@bloopitybloop – if you don't have curly hair yourself it's also a hell of a learning curve to get your head around – if I had a daughter with straight hair I don't think I'd have a clue what to do with it!

No doubt you're doing great –but would definitely suggest going to see a hairdresser who specialises in this kind of hair to get some tips and a headstart on managing it before she reaches her teens (I looked a TOTAL eejit in my teens because I was trying so hard to tame my mass of corkscrews with no idea how to do it right )

Original poster

bloopitybloop · 21/09/2018 20:37

@ladybee28 thanks! It’s so difficult to find a hair dresser who understands curly hair - when I had DD I seriously had no clue how to manage all the beautiful hair she has!! DH has curly hair but not as much as she does -
I have lots of hair but it’s staright as a pin!

I will try and find a hair dresser that understands curly hair and get some
Tips ! Don’t want her to spend all her teens straightening her hair and destroying it

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squirrelnutkins1 · 21/09/2018 21:19

Definitely definitely find a hair dresser who understands curly hair, better still has curly hair herself/himself. Took me til my mid 20s to get a good hairdresser who didn't leave me with a lopsided mess of a haircut!!

hoppipopla · 21/09/2018 21:39

Might it be worth looking at the curly girl method for her, could banish the frizz and maximise curls. It takes quite a bit of effort though so I guess it's whether you can both be bothered. I'd avoid straightening though.

Mamabear4180 · 21/09/2018 21:42

NO! I'm afraid I don't have any tips for curly frizzy hair though

Florries · 21/09/2018 22:11

Would wetting the front curly bits and then blow drying on a cool setting be a better option? I have rediculously frizzy hair and that's what I used to do as a pre teen before the age of straighteners!

Original poster

bloopitybloop · 22/09/2018 11:11

@Florries I will try that ! I met a client yesterday who has very similar hair to my daughters and I asked her for her hair dressers details !
I am going to take DD there next weekend.

OP posts:

PastaRedWine · 22/09/2018 16:42

Hair is dead, and whatever you do to it won't affect anything growing through.

The only reason I won't get into frequent hair straightening or blow drying with my kids is purely time. But whenever the little one comes home with a letter about nits, I not only check for eggs/lice, but I straighten her hair too!

RomanyRoots · 22/09/2018 16:50

No, there's no way it's suitable for a child's hair, bad enough on a grown up.
Mine is very curly and hasn't been the same since hairdresser cut it in a straight style, straightened it and of course I continued.
i only did it a couple of times a week at most and it's ruined the condition and keeps breaking.
My dd is 14 and not allowed straighteners for this reason.
The protector sprays don't work either, just another way to get money from you.

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