Maternity leave: when do you do your cleaning?

[Ebonyscrooge]

On maternity leave with dc2,dc1 at school. She is 4 months old and very clingy.
We have had a cleaner for the last 12 months and DH says I should be doing the cleaning myself now that I'm "off work." I genuinely have no idea how I'm going to get this done with a clingy baby between the hours of 9.30 and 2.30.

Does anyone else manage this? And how?

@ODog
I actually used a sling loads especially with DC2, however I struggled to do even basic household tasks with it as it just wasn't physically possible. Admittedly I had heavy babies and I am short but anything that required crouching or just bending over was a complete no-go so even things like emptying the bottom shelf of the dishwasher was really hard. Also I wasn't happy to use chemicals with my baby in such close proximity and any activity that required some degree of heavy lifting such a carrying in the shopping bags was tricky whilst still keeping my balance.

I'm not a sling hater at all and I definitely think they can help when you've got a needy baby that doesn't want to be put down, however I also think the benefits are sometimes overstated and it isn't the answer for every new mother for lots of different reasons.

You manage to do waaaay more than me wow!
I have 15 month old twins and achieve emptying the dishwasher, washing up, putting washing on and wiping around kitchen. We have a cleaner as I don’t manage anything else

Actually I think you're achieving an amazing amount with a 4mo. Staggering in fact when you consider that she is clingy.

What exactly has prompted his change of heart? Is it driven by money? The fact that he is saying that you're being abusive when you stand up for yourself makes me think that he is actually trying to control you. Appreciate that I could be way off base here.

The Organised Mum is brilliant, my house has never been cleaner and it also changed my life. I'm not sure I'd suggest it with a 4mo though (and I've been recommending to everyone), especially one who is clingy. The 45 minutes are intense and if you break the sections down into chunks then those chunks can be intense and you can feel like you're spending the whole day cleaning. I am currently 38 weeks pregnant with a 2yo and finding it a struggle, although determined to keep it up (so DH can take some on when he's on paternity leave). I did a bit of deep cleaning in the lounge yesterday - according to the organised mum it should have taken me 45 minutes but it actually took me 1.5 hours because I had a 2yo helping and I imagine a clingy 4mo would have the same effect. You might however manage the 15 mins a day section which would keep things clean on a very very basic level.

Here is my schedule from when DD2 was 4mo:

Monday - washing
Tuesday - paperwork
Wednesday - Hoovering
Thursday - Change beds one week and dust the next
Friday - Deep clean kitchen one week and deep clean bathroom the next
Saturday - batch cooking and more washing

Nothing was ever all clean at once but it worked for us. Then some weekends we'd pull the sofa out and clean windows etc. I say WE.

Can you get DC1 to help with stuff? My 6yo actually asks to hoover and wash windows etc. DD2 used to nap lots in her sling and the only things I ever really did with her in it was load the washing, wipe down kitchen sides, make breakfast/lunch and prep food for dinner. Anything more would have woken her and I don't think I could have physically managed it. Saying all of that my overall feeling is that you should keep the cleaner. If it's a money issue then you and DH split the homework. Sorry but expecting you to look after the children, "keep a house" and facilitate his hobbies shows that his priorities are seriously out of whack. He sounds incredibly old fashioned. Have you tried writing out what you do in a day for him to see what it's like...or filming it? He's not listening to you and you need to find a way to make him. Frankly he can't make you clean and in your shoes I wouldn't. That would be an interesting turn of events!

It has occured to me to point out to him that he is not expected to clean his work space whilst working in it... they employ cleaners to do that. So how is it any different for me when I'm working by taking care of the baby? Thank you for all the support here. I feel a lot better. It's
Nice to hear that people think I'm already doing enough too. Thankyou. I do feel very busy most of the time. But I think its also important to be able to deal with the emotional effects of a young baby by slowing down to take it all in (and allowing them to nap on you from time to time.)

What I found about the two maternity leaves that I had, was that babies needs are constantly evolving. I struggled to breastfeed both times and my second needed a lot of help to sleep. Those were the places my focus needed to be, not on the cleaning. You can see this because you are there day in day out. Trust yourself. I'm not sure why your DH is suddenly fixating on the cleaning but he needs to start supporting you.

Washing clothes/nappies and general tidying during the day as I go, which is same as always as I worked from home anyway so would take 5 minutes here and there to put the wash on or clean the toilet in between work. Otherwise, it gets done when it always did when I was working: in the evenings and weekends when there are two of us around to do it.

My ‘job’ is baby care so I do that during the day (along with some work ‘work’ as I still work some as needed). Then we share the cleaning, washing up, putting clothes away, cooking after work or on weekends. Usually one of us entertains the kids while the other gets tasks done. We’d also still have a cleaner too but sadly our cleaner moved when ds was 2 months old and I’ve not quite gotten organised enough to find a new one.

How about leaving your dh to do the childcare and cleaning and cooking and food shopping for a day? Mine had to share things pretty evenly from when our first was born (apart from feeding), while also working from home, so gets how hard it is to get anything done. In fact, he’s been badgering me to agree to hire another cleaner!

If I left him for a day to do everything, I've no doubt that even if he did find it hard work, he would be too pig-headed to admit it.

If they are generally competent leaving them to do it all for a day can backfire. My dh would get on actionplan ready steady go!! Mode and blitz it all then collapse in a heap. It’s having to do it all the time that is so hard! If it was only one day a year you could let the baby cry a bit and head down and do it, but that’s not how it works...

Good point Time. I guess they can never understand what it's really like..