When people say 'it gets easier / better' erm, when?

[stiltonontoast]

My DS is almost 8 months, he is a good baby and generally sleeps pretty well but he has his off days. I've suffered from PND since he was born and although its really lifted these past few months... parenting is hard! and sleep deprivation is truly evil.

People often say 'it'll get better, things will get easier' when did you get that 'I've got this' moment? What age was your DC? and when for the love of god did you get to sleep later than 6am?

Sorry OP but my DC is 2.5yrs and doesn't sleep past 6am but then every child is different. I never had a defining moment of when it got easier BUT I do remember enjoying it more if that makes sense. I don't have any amazing advice but I will say we all feel the same, you're not alone for struggling a little

DC1 is 6 and doesn’t sleep past 6am. Never has. He can get his breakfast and turn the tv on at weekends now.
IME it got easier age 4 in terms of reliable sleep, being able to do stuff for themselves. But still little, cute and need you a lot.

I have a nearly 3.5yo dd - I found it got generally better month by month with the odd blip, but started getting lots easier once she was 2. Teething finished / sleep improved, she started properly chatting and understanding things, eating improved - less messy, etc. I guess this is different for everyone though. I hope it starts improving for you soon.

I think it differs. Mine slept 7/8 hours from birth and went 12/14 hours from 6 weeks old. My sister's DC is still up ever 4 hours at the age of 3.

I also never get any peace unless my DS is sleeping. He's been on the move from 4.5 months and first steps were at 8 months.

Honestly, he just pisses me off most days never stays still! Not even for a moment. Was never a quiet baby, always wanted to be on the move.

Also not keen on other people and won't settle for anyone, even DH, when he's tired. It's all mummy mummy mummy and some days I want to scream.

4 for us too. DS1 is now five, nearly six and really quite sensible (he used to be a crazy boy!). DS2 is much worse re. sleeping. He is now two, nearly three and most often than not sleeps through.

My 4 and 7 year old sleep through now and have since they were 3. My 13 month old however...

I’ve honestly not slept a full night for years. It’s shit. And they’re all up at 6 though my eldest will sleep until a bit later now.

What does get easier is you getting used to it and in a way giving up on what you expect. I am so used to crap sleep and no lay ins that it doesn’t phase me anymore.

Ha, I was going to ask this question too! DS is 10 months and still wakes every 1.5 hours and will only be settled with a breastfeed. I don't mind too much in the night as co sleeping and I mostly doze through but I would just love an uninterrupted evening more than anything! Any attempt at a change of routine or DH settling him is met with a meltdown. He's walking and into everything and I'm just knackered. I just wish that people hadn't kept telling me it would get better at 6 months as then I might have not had such unrealistic expectations and I'm sick of being given blanket advice by people (DM!) who had easy babies!

I have a just three year old and an 18 month old. My 18 month old is a shit sleeper and always has been but he's getting easier now in the sense that he can potter about an occupy himself for a bit, obviously walking helps with that! His speech is not really happening, but he makes himself understood by pointing or shaking his head (or screeching...). I think it's easier when they can move and communicate better because you can start to understand each other and they don't get as frustrated.

My three year old is very emotional and sensitive, but he's been great company and pretty easy since he was about two. My niece is a bit younger than him and also suddenly got more fun at 2.

So... between 18 months and about 2 is a bit of a turning point I think. Yes, the tantrums start then but they also start talking and that really helps. No idea on the sleep, still waiting for that...

Every baby is different. My baby (8months) has always slept so i've never felt parenting wasreally that hard. Just my experience though. She started with 6hours at night from about 2 weeks old and since about 3 months does 13hour stints over night going from 7pm-8am, and if i give her a bottle when she wakes up she will go back to sleep for another hour.

I think its gonna get harder for me when i go back to work, and have to get up early and get her ready and off to nursery

I have found it gradually getting easier from about 6 months (DS is nearly 4). In some ways it is harder work, but I've found it more enjoyable! We started getting more of our lives back around 18 months, as I recall.

Depends on the child really. Mine have always slept until 7am earliest and now they are much older they sleep until 9 or so on weekends. I found my kids got easier when they started school! Sorry .

I’ve found it easier from about 11-13 months; DD is more able to communicate what she wants but she’s also so funny and makes me laugh every day which makes the hard parts feel a lot easier

Still waiting to find out, DS is 18 next birthday

My dad (may he RIP) reckoned the best bit of parenting advice he was given was that the first 51 years are the worst...

For me it was also 18 months to 2 years. Talking & walking really helps. They're so much less reliant in you. You can also reason with threaten them to a certain degree. Eg. Once you've put those toys away, you can have some telly / a banana.

It never really gets better, it just changes!!

I guess even once they leave home you worry and stress about them.

But at least you get more sleep!

Mine are 5 and 2.5 and sleep till about 8am on the weekends. They both woke every 2-3 hours throughout the night until 18 months though.

Never! It just gets different.
12 and 6 year olds here

Hmm... if it’s just sleep you mean then the first level of getting easier was when I stopped night breastfeeds at about 13 months so I could alternate nights with DH and get a decent sleep every other night. He then started sleeping some longer stretches from about 20 or 22 months. Now at just turned 2 he will kind of sleep through (a wake as we go to bed or sleep until 6) a couple of times a week, wake once in the middle of the night a couple of times a week and be up every few hours once or so. It’s all dependant on a zillion things, teeth, tiredness, nap, general illness, how exciting the day was etc, so not a linear ‘sleep improved until he was sleeping through’ at all.
Other aspects though, he’s just turned 2 and can tell what he wants, we can ‘kind of’ reason with him and make bargains, he can occupy himself when I’m cooking or help with jobs. Generally way easier in lots of ways for the last 2 or 3 months. Still needs a massive amount of time and attention though. I’m not sure life will ever actually be easy again,

Mine are 5 and 3 and it is SO much better than the baby stage. Sleep is better (not perfect, mine are shocking sleepers, but better). They can do way more for themselves and we're not tied by naps and feeds any more. But the main thing is they are FUN! They can TALK! Babies are cute but save for some smiles and giggles you can't interact with them that much - for me, talking made a huge difference. So about age 2.5.

Although, 16-20 months is also very cute.

Dd is just turned 2 and became such a joy. She’s funny and silly and can be trusted to entertain herself for period. I was cooking dinner and enjoying peace and quiet and I realised it had been a long long time since the house had felt so calm. I am now getting more time to myself and when I am with her I truly love it. Her imagination is blossoming and she makes me laugh every hour when I’m with her.

0-12 months was the worst time of my life however. Thank god it’s over and finally getting through the hard hard days!

I think it gets easier about 4. Babies are toddlers are hard work, and it can feel relentless.

When they are 4 they are a lot more independent, and you can have a proper conversation with them and they say funny things. Also they start school, and begin to do things like hobbies and playdates, so you get a break from them :)

I found it got easier after about 12 months and then much easier after about 3-4 years, but in a different way (they don't need you as much and you can get on with adult life a lot more). I found the time from about 7-11 months to be especially hard so you are in the thick of it now, even if your PND is better.

Sorry to say though that there is very little sleeping in until they get much older. My 5 year old still wakes a bit past 6am, but from about 4, she gets to watch her tablet in the mornings on the weekends, so we used to get an extra hour or two of a lie in (obviously with one eye open to make sure she wasn't up to anything) - of course, now we have a 7 month old, so early mornings all around for everyone again. I'm still waking for those days when I have to wake her up in the morning!

I think it starts to get easier in small parts as soon as they can move about. So I found it easier when they could crawl because they could move for the toys they wanted, then easier again when they could walk. And it gets easier again when they can communicate a bit. Once they can occupy themselves, even just for 15 minutes it really did help me just feel like I was getting a little break.

The sleep deprivation is a killer though.