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Original poster

Drinking while taking care of kids ...

39 replies

NotQuiteCockney · 03/06/2007 18:24

If I have any alcohol while in charge of my children (I'm talking a single unit or less) I find my patience completely evaporates. I want them to be good now, I don't want any back talk, and oh, they just annoy me so much. Particularly if we're at home.

(Obviously, as a result, I tend to avoid drinking while the kids are underfoot.)

Does anyone else have this reaction? It would be nice to be able to have a beer with dinner, and not turn into a horrible shouty person. I don't become like this with everyone when drunk, it really is just my kids ...

OP posts:
themoon66 · 03/06/2007 18:27

God no... quite the opposite in fact. I become chilled, laid-back mum who just smiles at their antics. I never shout.

themoon66 · 03/06/2007 18:28

Actually .... you made me remember there's half a bottle of white in fridge....

filthymindedvixen · 03/06/2007 18:29

I go to the opposite extreme and become Mrs Laid Back - which is dangerous.
''play with that lit stick of dynamite? course you can my lovely...'''

I should stress this doesn';t happen after just one glass of wine or beer., more like the end of a loooong afternoon barbie or whatever.
However, I also have a magic panic button which can change me from relaxed as a newt to Queen of The Situation if a drama calls. Adrenaline can sober one up like nothing else, as I have had reasons to discover in the past.

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Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 03/06/2007 18:30

Well, it's not out and out shouting (I don't call them names!), but I'm just so angry at them. I'm normally really good at keeping a lid on my temper, I work hard at trying to get them to do what I want through silliness etc etc. But if I drink, that all evaporates, and I'm just impatient and furious.

Maybe the problem is, I have a drink when I'm already at the end of my tether, and it doesn't magically fix my mood, so I get really angry?

OP posts:
filthymindedvixen · 03/06/2007 18:30

NQC - did you see my lovely pirate wellies BTW???
They're skullandcrossbone-tastic!

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 03/06/2007 18:31

Yeah, I've heard other parents talk about how laid back they become in this situation. I think it's easier for me to be laid back when out and about - at home, if I'm drinking, it's just at the start of the dinner/bath/bed routine, and we're working to a schedule ...

OP posts:
Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 03/06/2007 18:31

Oooh, no, haven't seen those, where did you get them? (I need wellies, but wear a 9, so keep getting depressed by the selection of boring men wellies out there ...)

OP posts:
bobsyouruncle · 03/06/2007 18:31

the opposite here too - things that would normally annoy me don't after a couple of glasses.

gibberish · 03/06/2007 18:36

Lol filthymindedvixen!

I too become more chilled out. Infact, I am a much nicer person after a glass of wine, in my opinion. In my childrens' opinion I just become embarassing. Well more than usual anyway.

filthymindedvixen · 03/06/2007 18:37

here! I got mine in Dublin and now I feel like a three-year-old who wants to wear them all the time even though it's sunny!

Sorry, back to your OP now....

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 03/06/2007 18:39

Hmmm, now I think the problem may be down to the circumstances in which I drink. If it's a lunch out, it's ok. It's drinking and then trying to get the kids to bed on time that ends up with me turning into (more of) a harridan.

Those boots only go up to an 8. Grr.

OP posts:
pointydog · 03/06/2007 18:41

I'm laid back as long as all I have to do is laze about and laugh and joke and be sociable.

If I'm then expected to wash dd2's hair or something I'm all grumbly and useless.

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 03/06/2007 18:41

I think part of me sees alcohol as a sign I should be relaxing and doing sod all. So I get resentful that I have to wrangle midgets in and out of a bathtub.

OP posts:
pointydog · 03/06/2007 18:41

yep, nqc. Hard to drink and carry out tasks effectively, agree.

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 03/06/2007 18:42

Well, at least now I know when I can drink with them. I was quite tempted to have a drink this evening, today has been a bit crap, but was sensible. I can have a drink after they're in bed, anyway ...

OP posts:
filthymindedvixen · 03/06/2007 18:42

NQC - how old are your children?
I say this because it won't be long before they don't need you as much.
mine are older now and they can put themselves to bed.
I don't mean that in a 'neglected poor wee things pick up a crust from the kitchen floor and sip water from the plughole whhile pished-up mummy does the can-can with the neighbours'' way, obviously

FrannyandZooey · 03/06/2007 18:44

I think not generally drinking when kids are around is a Good Thing, personally

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 03/06/2007 18:44

Mine are two and five, so quite a way off from putting themselves to bed.

I do quite like doing bedtime stories with them (ok, I lie, only the five-year-old gets one), so I'd like to keep that up for a while.

I am hoping the bedtime routine will get less rushed, though, as they need less sleep? Maybe? Currently they eat at 6, bathe at 6:30, bedtime at 7, asleep at 7:30. DS1 has to be up before 7, to leave the house at 7:30am for school.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 03/06/2007 18:46

Hmmm, I don't think getting drunk around them is good, but surely there's a case in favour of a unit or two here or there, in a European sort of way?

(Goodness knows I didn't see much in the way of a healthy relationship with alcohol from my parents while I was growing up ... I'd like to set a better example, god knows it won't be worse, unless DH takes to 'sneakily' drinking while I roll my eyes at every clank of the bottle. I feel compelled to point out that none of this is a very likely outcome in our household, thank god.)

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 03/06/2007 18:47

Could ds have a bath / shower when he gets back from school, instead?

I just don't understand how other people manage the bath after dinner and before bed. It's completely impossible for us and has been for ages. I give ds a bath in the daytime every couple of days and he spends about 1 - 2 hours playing in there which is fab

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 03/06/2007 18:48

I would love to have DS have a bath before dinner, but he is opposed to this, and always has been. I might give it a go again, now he's decided he likes showers now.

DS2 often skips the bath, and then demands one at a random time, which is fine.

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 03/06/2007 18:49

Yes I know you are not a big drinker NQC

I have read it is better for them to see you have a drink occasionally than for you to be teetotal but tough shit in this house

I was just trying to say, it sounds like it's a nuisance for you not being able to have a drink with the children around, but I think it could be to their advantage

pointydog · 03/06/2007 18:49

oh yes, things get much less rushed as they need less help. You can lounge around being mellow and witty and tell the kids to get themselves ready for bed.

Hulababy · 03/06/2007 18:50

We don't do bath every night anymore - haven't for past year or so (DD is 5 now). DD will probably have a bath once a week, and a shower 2-3 times the rest of the week, normally shower in the morning before school. Top and tail wash at sink rest of time.

I tend to be a bit more chilled after a drink, with DD.

ChippyMinton · 03/06/2007 18:50

I have recently realised that a glass of wine/beer whilst doing bedtime routine is a good thing, less likely to result in shouty mummy. Good for me, good for my DC. Just the one drink though, until they are safely snoring

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