How do parents of two or more manage it?

[helvetica01]

We have a colicky four-month old with reflux in the midst of a sleep regression. I am totally tearing my hair out. She cries during the day, cries during the night, and I feel sad and like a terrible mother. We've seen the GP and there isn't much they can do, and I know we just need to ride it out. We don't have family nearby to help.

My question is: how do those with a toddler and a baby do it? Our plan is to have two children, but I'm now worried I will never cope as this one alone is just such a handful. How do you do it? Does it get easier?

I did. I’ve seen lots of forum posts saying it’s not to be done but the reality as far as I found was that there’s simply no research or data for that age group. I asked the pediatrician (who we saw for a large facial birthmark) and she simply remarked she though it was “probably easier” the younger the baby is. I really don’t cope well without sleep so to me it was worth the completely unknown risk and so far my kids seem completely fine. Maybe a bit too independent but I’m not sure that can be put down to cc. It might be their personalities or it might be that I tend to encourage independence as soon as I see the first seed of it. They don’t seem to have any attachment problems. The eldest behaves like the description of a secure attachment, in familiar surrounds happily doing his own thing, using me as a secure base in unfamiliar places or around unfamiliar people. Happy to see me when I return from being away etc. So yeah my little n1 experiment shows no damage as far as I can tell. Just had his 2year review today and he got 50 points out of 57 and they said no worries about him at all.

If she has reflux, do you keep her upright as much as possible and have you tried putting the head of her cot up slightly on blocks? That can sometimes be enough to reduce the reflux.

My two were horrendous and would projectile vomit right across the room and often vomit all over themselves just as we were all ready to leave the house!

They are both teenagers now and bring completely different worries

@Daftapath @GreenTulips I do try to prop her up as much as possible for reflux, in her bouncer, pram, etc. Since her sleep regression kicked in though, she's been sleeping in our bed a lot, so tilting hasn't been possible...

@DieAntword we might give cc a go then once the regression has subsided a little (I read somewhere to keep doing what you've been doing to get through the regression, and fix problems like sleep props afterwards). Any tips are welcome!

So sorry to post previous question on wrong thread! Will blame baby brain! We have three children under 4 years and the fourth due in November. It is hard! However, it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job and it does and will get easier! My tip for you is to try and find even 10 minutes for yourself each day. Maybe do so excersise, read a book, call a friend or have a 10 minute soak in the bath! You deserve this at the very least and it can be liberating! 😆 xx

We used dentinox, gripe water and infacol for our 2, but the colic my son had was hell! He had to have a hip scan when he was a few weeks old, and they lay him on his side and he proper parped (the look of relief on his little face was glorious!) so I used to do a combo of winding, tummy massage, moving his legs like a bicycle and putting him on his side which eventually all managed to shift it.

I’m only a couple of months on from you, but I promise it does get better from what I’ve seen!