I don’t think that Mumsnetters realise that a screaming baby physically affects their MiLs and their Mothers. I had to leave the room in order not to say anything. Eventually my dear SIL had to leave for work and had to hand her over. I practically heard the baby sigh as I swaddled her and rocked her. In seconds she was asleep. I love my sons in law deeply but watching them with their newborns was comical.....but I shut up and backed off, but it hurt.
Swaddling was out at the time and so was rocking.
Rocking because you might spoil the baby ( duh) and swaddling because of supposedly affecting their limbs. As my boys grew up to be hulking Rugby players I feel sure they were affected by my swaddling them, not
I always lay the babies on their backs though because of the danger of cot death, although the jury ( I think ) is still out on that one.
I come from a medical family and fashion regarding child rearing changes, but some ideas have always been ridiculous
Gosh! You really highlight the issues with MIL and DIL/SIL relationships. You come across as a right know it all.
The thing is as a daughter, you are able to tell your mother that she is out of order without causing any issue, this is often not possible with a mother in law where the DIL will probably try to be polite etc.
Like PPs have said, MILs who brought kids, or even one child up differently say 30 years ago or more, thing their advice is needed or wanted when it often isn't. Come round and see the baby, offer advice if requested. But otherwise, unless the child is in danger don't tell people how to bring up their own child!
Advice/comments I have had are numerous and not requested. Sometimes those comments have been directed at the baby or at other guests so I was in earshot.
Eg. When asking MIL not to talk so loudly as sleep fighting baby was just going to sleep and she was waking him: 'He'll sleep when he is ready.
Placing a toy in his moses basket when he was sleeping, that she had got him when he was 3 weeks old.
Saying to her friend that 'and she won't let him have a dummy!' when I am right next to her
When baby not sleeping well at night, he is napping too long (said to baby, not me) - apparently he needs an hour in total when he is 6 months.
Commenting on the fact he has too many fruit purees- at the moment I am slipping in the odd spoon of veg when I can- otherwise I am faced with a clenched jaw.
Saying to baby that he needs a routine- he does have one and again said to baby whilst I am in earshot.
The list goes on...
Other behaviours that have cheesed me off is coming around too much when partner and I are getting used to parenting and sleep deprivation and getting involved in our disputes- taking beloved sons side obvs. I was changing all nappies and I mentioned this and she said "well he changed one last time I was round"
It just makes you cross, it may seem petty, but when you're dealing with sleep deprivation etc, its the last thing you need.