Here we go....controlled crying starts tonight

[Deehit]

I am dreading this!
My baby is 7 months and still wakes 3-4 times a night for a bottle and our day starts at 5am everyday so tonight we begin the dreaded "controlled crying"

Any tips, help or experiences please share because I am going to need some help.

I already picture myself sat on the landing in tears....I hate hearing my baby cry.

Wish me luck

As she goes back to sleep readily after a bottle I would think she’s thirsty.
A bit young too I would say, and wrong time of year.

@Cornishclio that's what I think.....she is just waking for comfort because surely if she was hungry she would drink all her milk. Sometimes she literally barely touches her milk so I think surely she can't be hungry

Honestly I think it's too early.

In that case, I'm all out of suggestions for a baby who already genuinely self soothes, and you just have my sympathy! It definitely sounds as though she's struggling to go back down between sleep cycles - I hope you manage to work out why. Lack of sleep is brutal xx

@Deehit my DD only uses hers if she wakes during the night. I'm very grateful she doesn't have one during the day. She also clings to a bib as a comforter. I guess the best way to stop her feeding during the night is to just not feed her! Maybe when she wakes, just try and settle her back to sleep instead of offering the bottle. Then maybe she won't wake for feeds anymore? From your post, she seems to eat a good amount during the day. My daughter has 30 oz all day, with half a pouch of puréed veg at 5pm. Last bottle at 7 then to bed, she wakes again at around 7am.

My wee one has only just got to this stage of sleeping and he's 10 months. Health visitor suggested instead of giving a bottle the 1st time he wakes try a cuddle and a sip of water from a cup. As he was just using the feed for comfort

I know dummys are controversial but both my DGDs have used them for comfort even though initially they did not want them. I think it is the sucking for comfort which helps them. DGD1 stopped using hers at around 9 or 10 months as it kept dropping out at night and waking her up so DD gave her a teddy bear which she still loves to take to bed for comfort and stopped using the dummy. Not sure if the 3 month old will be the same but DD just pops it in as she is in next to me crib and she goes back to sleep for an hour or more.

It does make me smile when parents think a baby isn't hungry at night because they don't drain a bottle , when we are hungry sometimes we only need a snack not a full blown meal ! My ten month old wakes at night still sometimes just once , but in this heat it's been 3/4 times , just roll with it feed her cuddle her , it will pass before you know it , isn't much to be gained from CC except stress for you and her.

My tactic tonight and for the rest of the week I am just going to try giving her a cuddle so when she realises she isn't getting milk she will stop waking. I'm still going to take up a few bottles and water just in case I will count my blessings she self soothes and completely dismiss the CC as iv realised after reading all the comments that's not what she needs

I think cc can be great for parents and babies. A good nights sleep is so important for everyone’s health and wellbeing. I think you are right to try and cut out the bottles first though. I think going from feeding to cc would be too much. I would just offer water at night for the next couple of weeks and then see how she is doing.

Presumably your still awake for the 10 and 12 feed. It’s really the 2 and 4 feed you need to knock on the head. I suggest you offer water instead of milk because it doesn’t sound like she’s hungry and have a couple of mornings where you get up at 4 instead of 5 and pace with her instead of feeding her so she learns she has to wait until 5 before she gets food then she’ll hopefully sleep longer. Then when she’s sleeping through you can work on stretching out the morning but she’s very young yet.

I just think "I can't pour from an empty cup" how can I look after her to my full potential when I can't look after myself. It really upsets me that my fatigue might mean I miss out on my baby's early days. I want to go for walks, go to the park, go swimming all that but sometimes I am just exhausted and it's not fair on her

No I usually drop to sleep by half 9 like now Im struggling to keep my eyes open then no sooner I'm asleep she's up. When she wakes at 4 she does go back down and will drop back off but can tell she is only dosing. I did a day at work today though and I had to wake her up at 6:45 to set off! Sod's law! I thought of all the days you chose today to sleep in

You're not failing at all! All children are different. DD1 has always been an atrocious sleeper, she only started sleeping through at around 2.5. I've got friends on the other hand whose child has always slept brilliantly and still has a 3 hr nap during the day.
It's bloody hard (and I'm not a single parent). Try to make sure you eat properly and look after yourself too, living off babybel isn't good!

If she is waking at set times have you thought of wake to sleep? That was quite effective with mine

And what doesn't help is Iv got a group of teenagers throwing stones at my house on a regular basis......like they have just done now and woke her up I could cry

Seriously? In this heat? If she goes back down after a few ounces of milk she is probably waking thirsty. I know it's hard but it's kind of how it is. I had 2 non sleeping children so maybe not a good judge but it sounds pretty normal to me.

I honestly wouldn't try controlled crying when it's so hideously hot

Sorry OP just read the thread

Good luck.

7 months isn't too uncommon to not be sleeping through, although they shouldn't need any milk in the night.

What i did recently, was give DD (around the same age at the time) less and less milk every night feed until it wasn't worth her waking up anymore. I'd reduce it by 1oz every few days and it really did work. In my DDs case, she was waking out of habit for milk and settling after. She sleeps lovely now and she's just over a year.

If you're in the UK then it could be the heat and she is thirsty. Maybe you could try water instead?

Sorry about the teenagers. It can be so hard with a baby.

Deehit sounds like we have v similar babies. Mine is 8 mo (and I have a 3yo who is up by 5am, without fail).

Mine did would go to bed at 7 and wake pretty much every 2 hours through the night. This just isn't sustainable and as she was easily going 3/4 hours between feeds in the day, I figured she was waking more for comfort than food. She never took more than 3oz per bottle.

I started offering milk only every second wake up. She settled remarkably easily when not hungry (I use white noise and a dummy), but when she really wanted a feed she would not settle. She started taking over 5oz per bottle.

Now after only a few days in she seems to be only waking when truly hungry. Last night one wake up at 2 am 6oz feed then straight back down, up at five, quick booby feed back to.sleep for an hour. I feel human again.

I think maybe try something a bit gentler before controlled crying, she is still very little. Good luck

I don't recommend night weaning before 8.5 months anyway so I would say 7 months is too early.

Honestly if she's feeding well and settling quickly you're clearly meeting her needs. It is hot so do try supplementing with water (although my 2 DDs could never be fobbed off with just water!) but don't be disheartened if she won't play ball.

I think the solution to your nightime sleep is working on her day time naps. This gives you an indication of her total 24 hour sleep requirements:

sleepfoundation.org/press-release/national-sleep-foundation-recommends-new-sleep-times

If she's not achieving much daytime sleep she's likely to be at the lower end. Reevaluating the importance of naps will achieve greater results long term than CIO. I would recommend 2-3 hours a day - 1 1 hour and 1 2 hour nap a day. It absolutely won't be easy but it's worth it for sustainable results.

I could link research which suggests CIO and raised cortisol levels can be negative influences on children but I don't want to push my conclusions on to you. Ultimately I believe ignoring your child's cries at night is no better than ignoring them during the day. Why do we attend to baby's needs during the day but feel compelled to turn off that intuition at night? Because we're told babies 'should' be doing something they're not. No one told baby! Baby does what baby has got into the habit of doing. You can 'break' a habit - CIO or embed a new sustainable one.

Personally I rate Chireal Shallow's methods. Her book is referenced here and our local library (Warwickshire) stocks it so you might not even need to buy a copy.

www.mumfidential.com/why-i-dont-endorse-controlled-crying/

For naps, have you tried having white noise playing when you are pushing her in the buggy, or in the car after you turn the engine off?

How did it go?

Well some kids threw stones at my window about half 9 which woke her up so she was really ratty and crying until 11 then she woke at 3 and 5 both times I tried with a cuddle, then water before I had to give her milk and she went straight back after her milk. Think I am just going to have to be grateful she goes back to sleep and keep giving her milk until she grows out of it. I'm keeping an eye on how much milk she has during the day today and making sure I offer her plenty to eat