Here we go....controlled crying starts tonight

[Deehit]

I am dreading this!
My baby is 7 months and still wakes 3-4 times a night for a bottle and our day starts at 5am everyday so tonight we begin the dreaded "controlled crying"

Any tips, help or experiences please share because I am going to need some help.

I already picture myself sat on the landing in tears....I hate hearing my baby cry.

Wish me luck

I have been doing some KIT days at work at the moment and by the time I get home give her tea bath her and bottle and supper and story and start sterilising and the rest I often find myself coming downstairs thinking wow...I haven't eaten or showered and this happens daily. She is an incredibly light sleeper and our house is totally open plan so she hears everything and anything. Her room is right next to the kitchen and the way it's set out it doesn't have a door so I can't cook anything or warm anything up in the microwave I literally live off baby bells and pepperonis. Yes I think I'm just tired and hungry. I go to bed at 8:30 ish but I never relax. I am on edge all the time because I'm on my own every bang or knock or noise I am awake

Your baby is still very young to sleep through. Please take it with a pinch of salt when people tell you that their babies slept through at a few weeks old.

If I were you I would work on getting her to have a couple of good daytime naps, as sometimes overtiredness can disrupt their nighttime sleep. Will she fall asleep in the buggy or car if you drive around?

My DS didnt sleep through until he was 14m. If she's going to sleep with no issue then there's no need for controlled crying. The waking in the night is because she's still hungry - esp. If she's drinking 3oz a time. Have you tried increasing her milk before bed or dream feeding?

OP, I am an advocate for CC. Used it when my dd was 6 months and it worked in one day and our lives were changed. She would self settle, sleep through the night and for the first time in her life napped beautifully in her cot. The amount of crying taken for CC to work was far far less than the subsequent crying we would have had from unable to get to sleep/multiple wake ups in the night/ratty from not napping. Each to their own, but a few tough days for my daughter has made her immeasurably happier since.

BUT; please do not do it in this heat and especially if your baby is used to having night feeds. Please wait a few weeks, until it cools down, and then before CC you will need to work on night weaning. I did this by halving the amount in the bottle for a few days and then replacing with water- her intake upped during the days to counter this. Once night weaned, as long as baby is well you can try CC.

Ignore anyone who makes you feel like a bad mum. Lots of people use CC and there is no evidence of ill effects to child.

You’re doing great

I offer her 6 oz during the night each time but after 3oz she refuses to take anymore. I always make 8oz before bed and start panicking when she will only take a couple of oz before she refuses. I can't seem to get anymore down her before bed she just becomes extremely upset and clenches her lips together so I can't get the bottle in. I will defiantly hold off on the CC now I have read all your replies. She doesn't nap if I take her out in the pram she does nod off in the car though but wakes up if the engine stops or we get stuck in traffic lights

Some babies are sippers. My daughter never took more than 3oz at a feed ever! My son would drain an 8oz bottle in about 4 minutes and then cry for more

It is developmental normal for your child you occasionally need you at night until they are 7 YEARS old. My ff DD needed milk during the night until 13 months. We coslept and she never feed to sleep so I know it was a need.

Babies often need more milk, especially at night when they first start weaning. It is very hot so she may also be thirsty.

I am glad that you have chosen not to do something that is going to make you both upset.

Offer water instead of milk?

Babies don’t sleep through at 7 months old! I have three kids and my youngest is 9 months. He still wakes 3/4 times a night. It’s normal.
My eldest two now sleep brilliantly every night - no controlled crying required.
Give it time. Your baby is young and needs you. You don’t need to leave your baby to cry

This stage is really tough but honestly it doesn’t last forever.

Dd1 amazing sleeper
Dd2 I basically was like a zombie for two years
Dd3 (20 month) good nights and bad nights.

I was going to try CC but read a lot of litrature that said it had such a negative impact on them. On the odd occasion when I was hammered and thought I’d just let her cry for a bit it only turned worse and woke her up properly which resulted in me putting her in my bed which was a new load of arsery.

Is there a specific time each night she is waking up? As it might be out of habit.

No it varies. She is always in bed for 7 and at the minute she wakes at 10,12,2 and 4 and then we get up at 5. I don't mind the early mornings because when I'm back at work it will help getting her dressed and breakfast before I set off.

God I hated those women “my baby slept through from birth” “my baby naps every two hours”....ignore them, respond to your baby’s needs as you have been doing! That’s all your baby needs and wants from you- I’m sure they’re thriving

Also— my baby just about to turn one- as new mums we can become obsessed at sorting the routine out and then time flies and you look back and wish you’d taken the pressure of yourself and just enjoyed it a bit more.

I thought controlled crying was to get them to settle initially in the early evening if they won't go down? We did this when DS was 8 months and it worked, only took a few days.

However, we did wait until he wasn't waking for feeds during the night. I don't think it will work if your baby is waking hungry/thirsty 3-4 times. I'd try to reduce that first (but wait until the weather cools down a little).

I know @OnlyFoolsnMothers I don't want to wish her life away they aren't little for long. I will just have to suck it up. I missed out on her early days so much because I really suffered from PND and it breaks my heart knowing I didn't treasure those moments.

It sounds like the problem is your house. Is there any way you could put a door on her room because you’re going to really struggle if you can never do anything in the evening after work incase it wakes her.

No. It's like an open archway....a rather large archway. And i have an open staircase which basically opens up to her room. I can't even go to the toilet at night because even the stairs creek which wakes her. I literally only go to the toilet when she is already stirring or awake

This might be far too obvious! But does she fall asleep to the lullaby, and then it stops after 20mins or whatever - like that musical sheep? And do you restart it when she wakes again in the night for her to fall asleep to? My only thought is that if it's stopping after she's asleep, the conditions when she wakes in the night (the sounds) won't be the same as when she went to sleep, and this can freak babies out and prevent them from resettling.

I tried one that just started up when she was stirring but found that didn't really work so now I have one that just plays all night

Honestly, don't compare your baby to anyone else's! Every baby is different. I made the mistake of questioning my parenting from the very start, wondering why my DD wasn't doing the same things as friends children at similar ages. Lost countless hours in the day trying to force a routine on her that she didn't want. I. The end I gave in and just let her lead me. She's almost 20 weeks and we have a great routine in place that she adjusted to on her own. My advice is just give her time, and follow her lead. And don't feel like a bad mum just people people on here are against controlled crying, every parent is different, and if you think this will help, then by all means, give it a go! You are her mum, you know best. My DD used to wake twice a night at 3 months, then dropped down to once. I offered her a dummy, and that seemed to put her back to sleep, so she now sleeps all night. It was a comfort thing for her, maybe try that?

My son (now 7 and a great sleeper) was awful when he was tiny; slept 6pm-midnight then up for breastfeed every hour or two. He rarely napped either. We fixed him with a combination of own room, formula, lots of high calorie food, and a shush-pat approach to 2-3 naps during the day. My daughter (now 2.5) woke at least once a night until we got her a big girl bed just after she turned 2. It will pass, I am only just myself again after the extensive sleep deprivation!

If she is not taking much milk she is probably waking through habit or for comfort rather than milk. Have you tried a dummy or white noise machine. My DD is currently using a My Hummy and a soother and one night feed for my DGD2 who is 3 months old but luckily a good sleeper. DGD1 needed constant rocking back to sleep at night and woke constantly so DD and her husband did gently sleep training at around 7 months and it worked after a few nights. She is almost 3 now and a great sleeper on the whole.

Might not be a great idea to do it in this heat though as most people are probably not sleeping that well at the moment.

I did cry it out at 7 months. Literally never went in, knew baby was fed, dry etc. Night one woke up and cried at usual times no longer than 12 mins though. Didn't go in.

Night two woke up once and cried for 2 mins.

Night three woke up once and let out a single wail then slept through ever since.

It's not too young, however, your baby does need better day time naps! They are probably over-tired. Better naps always means better sleep, so you could try tackling those first if you don't fancy trying CC.

Good luck!

@InConstantNeedOfAGin since she was tiny she has been in her cot. I put her in her cot after 2 weeks and in her own room from 6 weeks.......her room is like an extension to my room so I don't want people panicking thinking I left her alone. She has a Muslin cloth as her comforter. She hates a dummy only ever tried twice but I'm glad really I never wanted her to have a dummy xx

Fair enough. Also how loud is your white noise? Apparently to effectively cover noisy household sounds, it should be as loud as the sound of your shower. I was always worried ours was too loud, but it turns out it wasn't loud enough when we needed it to drown out the dawn chorus / when we've been in other peoples houses.

It's pretty loud. I'm sat downstairs on the sofa now and can hear it no problem. I am lucky she has never ever needed rocking to sleep at night.