Is it developmentally appropriate to expect a 2 year old to remain at the table to eat a meal?

[DieAntword]

I am fed up of my son getting down from the table and running around, playing with his toys, getting into mischief, running in and out and getting food that he grabs and goes everywhere etc while we are trying to eat.

I decided to institute a new rule that he must stay at the table until dismissed. He doesn't have to eat if he doesn't want to but he has to sit with us and if he gets down before being dismissed then he goes in time out.

I remember having a similar rule applied to me as a child but I was older I can't remember anything much from mealtimes when I was 2.

I tried taking his food away if he gets down before but he just fills up on snacks later - fruit and things - and doesn't seem at all put out by not having food or only a few bites at mealtimes.

At a cafe he is much better at staying at the table (although honestly his behaviour in cafes is deteriorating compared to how it used to be) but I imagine that's because there's strangers around and he is a bit shy.

I would definitely get him a booster to feel more included at the same height and on the same table as you. I got a booster seat from Aldi from about 7 quid I think and it's amazing if folds up into a a little carry things and you can clip it to any chair ...I love it. But definitely get your DC on the same table and clipped in, no to, no phones, just having good family time with laughs and chats about the day

It depends on the kid and on you. I could never be bothered to make it a big deal because for me, cooking food for everyone and then having a big row about staying at the table was too irritating. Instead I would let them get down when they had finished (they have to ask) and then try to make the table a nice chatty place to be. They'd often come back.

They mostly stay now at 7&9, with reminders that others are eating.

I know lots of people frown on this way of doing things but as someone with disordered eating I didn't want to feel stressed at meal times (and pass that stress on to the kids). It really depends how much wriggling/whining you can cope with.

My youngest is almost 2 and will sit at the table when at the same table as us, but definitely wouldn’t at a child table. If he is too big for a high chair then get a toddler chair. You can get one cheaply from ikea and prob other places too. They are taller so your child can reach the table.

OP please don’t stress! He has just turned 2!

We always have family meals, no phones etc... my 2 and 4yo stay and participate until they’ve finished eating and then away they go to play, explore, draw and do all the other lovely things that tiny children should be doing.

I’ve never implemented any rules about staying until everyone has finished at home - obviously at restaurants it’s a different situation, and they both sit quite happily.
4yo’s table manners at nursery also perfect apparently.

He will get it as he gets bigger.

Ok so what I ended up doing was putting him back in the high chair (not strapped in and minus the tray - pulled up to the table). No phones. Soft music for mealtime entertainment. For now feeding his brother in the buggy but I’m going to buy a “junior chair” from ikea once I have more money next month and then he can have that and his brother go back in the high chair.

It’s been going well. We have had some really nice relaxed meals with no running around and only a bit of ansty trying to escape when he thought he heard daddy coming home (but he wasn’t at the time).

Brilliant! Glad it is going well!

Maybe get an ikea high chair instead of the junior chair?
I've only just recently had my 4yr old in one of those. And they are high if they wriggle and fall.

We had a booster seat with straps on a dining chair before.

Like this
www.amazon.co.uk/OXO-Perch-Booster-Seat-Straps/dp/B019FZ0R76?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Mine is 2 (only just) and doesn't stay seated until the end of the meal. It's normal.

We call it "take away" or "to go".

It's normal.

The older one stays seated and the younger one will too eventually. Don't sweat it.

I had the misfortune of sitting in a quiet cafe this week. Only for a family with a 22 month old baby to come in. They insisted on putting the baby in a high chair so they could relax and drink their cold drinks. Great! It arched its back and screamed the place down and then whinged and tried to get out throughout my entire meal.
I wouldn’t have done that. I’d of sat them on my knee, walked them up and down etc, you know all the annoying things you have to do so that you don’t make other people’s lives shit.
Babies are hard work. You get that off one baby that will sit nicely in a high chair playing with a toy but most wont. I don’t believe in forcing them to do boring adult things all the time to fit in with your life it’s give and take. If you do decide to train them like a dog, definitely do it inside your own home because the crying is intolerable.

At two it's better to try to prevent a behaviour you don't want to encourage, rather than letting it happen and then punishing, because every time they do something it reinforces that behaviour. Even if you punish them for it every time they are still getting the original action reinforced. Leave punishment for things that you absolutely can't prevent - the rarer it is, the more of an impression it will make, anyway. Don't forget to encourage the good as well so praise him for sitting nicely, that will make him want to do it more.

So I agree that a booster seat would be a better solution, that or simply returning him to the table every time and definitely a rule that nobody has distractions at the table.

Glad your current plan is going well :)

A woman wouldn't be able to get away with sulking and not helping out with the kids and house for days. If this happened to me I would have to carry on as normal. My husband would be sympathetic for a bit but he wouldn't carry on for days as what is done is done.
I don't think my husband would think he could get away with not helping for so long as he was upset. Yes it's not nice but the kids still need care.

A woman wouldn't be able to get away with sulking and not helping out with the kids and house for days.

You haven't met my sister.

My 2 year old granddaughter sits at a booster seat here and at home and will stay at the table. She loves her yogurts for pudding but she knows she cannot have it until we have finished our main course. She is allowed down once she has finished hers but when we are out she stays seated. We just give her paper and crayons or toys to play with or failing that our phones.